


Secrets Well Kept

by GayWarden, Subtlety Lost (fishstic)



Series: I Found A Family In You [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, Fantasy Violence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multi, Multiple Wardens, and other things, clueless warden, warden cousland the gay, warden tabris the murderous, we also have the gracious presence of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 04:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 61,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5614708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayWarden/pseuds/GayWarden, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishstic/pseuds/Subtlety%20Lost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Reach down into your heart and you'll find many reasons to fight. Survival. Honor. Glory. But what about those who feel it's their duty to protect the innocent? There you'll find a hero savage enough to match any dragon and in the end they will retain what the others don't: their humanity."</p>
<p>Meiriana Mahariel fought for the survival and protection of her clan. Then in 9:30 that changed with one simple touch of a mirror. </p>
<p>Ella Cousland fought for the honor of the Cousland name, until her father's closest friend betrayed them all and she was forced to flee. </p>
<p>Kallian Tabris fought to protect her family. When she failed in that she fought for revenge. </p>
<p>Now they all fight for one thing: To protect all the innocents in Ferelden from the Blight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meiriana's Vallaslin

Even as a child, there was something different about Meiriana Mahariel. She was swift and sure-footed like most Dalish Hunters were. But she was also quiet. At one time, her father had been keeper of his clan. He died, was murdered, several years earlier. Her mother walked away and vanished. Perhaps had he lived, had she not walked away, Meiriana would have talked more. That isn’t to say that she didn’t talk at all, no. She just chose not to say much. 

Her quiet was unsettling for those who weren’t used to it, such as the occasional visitor from another clan. Unsettling, but not entirely unwelcome. Often if someone wished to ask her something they would direct the question to her friend Tamlen. This practice left everyone wondering if they were really  _ just  _ friends.

Tamlen was always willing to talk. Of all the Elves in the clan. he was perhaps the only one that understood her. He knew her better than anyone, better even than himself most of the time. Only he knew about her tendency to twist herself slightly to the right when she leaped between trees or drew her bow.

“Come lethallan,” he said to her one day shortly after her nineteenth birthday. “Are you prepared to hunt?”

She nodded silently and grabbed her bow and quiver of arrows from where it it was leaning against a tree stump. She headed into the forest with him, keenly aware that Keeper Marethari was watching as they went. She sent a silent prayer to the creators that this hunt would go well. 

She let Tamlen lead, though she knew she could easily out pace him if she wanted to. To her it was just nice to be out in the forest, especially with him. She helped him fell a bear and gave thanks to the creators that the hunt had gone well. Then she felt it. A distinct prick at the edge of her senses. Something was watching them. 

“What’s wrong, da’len?” Tamlen asked looking over and noticing the not-so-obvious worry on her face. 

She pointed to the edge of the clearing where she’d noticed them. “Bel banal’ras.”

Tamlen looked to where she was pointing. He narrowed his eyes, judging the shadows he saw then stood quickly and pulled her up too. “Into the tree!” They raced to the tree and climbed into it, barely outstripping the wolves that rushed out of the trees the moment they had began moving. 

_ ‘Many shadows,’ _ she had said then. “Ir’emma enfarim,” she said now.  _ ‘I am afraid.’ _ Two or three wolves she could handle. Four to six with Tamlen. But this was a whole pack, at least twelve. That many could outnumber a full hunting party. 

“Don’t worry, da’len. We can handle them,” Tamlen said, though he was worried too. He knew there was no way they could take down that number of wolves. Not with as few arrows as they had remaining. 

“Don’t lie to me, ma vhennan,” she said to him. This was the most she’d spoken to anyone in weeks. “The kill is lost, the wolves have taken it. We should move on. Ir abelas.”

Tamlen nodded. “Don’t apologize, da’len. It’s not your fault the wolves came around.” He carefully stood up on the branch and jumped to the closest branch in the next tree. 

Meiriana followed him quickly. They made their way through the forest like that until they came upon a few more animals, albeit none as big as the bear they’d taken, still just as fine a catch. Then they returned to camp, their kill in hand. Their hunt was a success, but for Meiriana not sensing the wolves sooner made it feel like a failure. 

Meiriana headed off to clean up before she ate, but Keeper Marethari held Tamlen back from doing the same. 

“What happened, da’len? She looked sad,” Marethari said. 

“We took down a bear too close to a wolves den. The pack overwhelmed us and stole the kill. We got away without getting hurt, but I think she blames herself for not noticing them sooner. We couldn’t fight them for the kill. We didn’t have enough arrows. Seven arrows can’t kill a dozen wolves, no matter how skilled the hunters are,” Tamlen said. He glanced in the direction that Meiriana had gone, then sighed. “Actually, I know she blames herself. She apologized when suggesting we find another kill.”

Marethari nodded. Sometimes she wondered if Meiriana was so hard on herself because she felt like she was disappointing her parents, though Ashalle would probably be a better judge of the truth to that. “Thank you, Tamlen.”

Tamlen nodded and turned to walk away. 

“Tamlen,” Marethari said, causing him to turn back around curiously. “Has she told you what god her Vallaslin will honor? She’s been ready for over a year. I’m beginning to worry about her refusal on this matter.”

He puzzled over this for a moment then shook his head. “No, she hasn’t. Not a single mention of it. Maybe she doesn’t feel like she’s reached adulthood yet. She’s way too hard on herself.”

“She likely feels as though she does not deserve to be called an adult,” Ashalle said walking over to them. “Ir abelas, I did not mean to interrupt but it is likely. Her mother was the same way at her age. She hunts only with you, Tamlen. Despite having many kills of her own she feels she does not deserve to be an adult, since she’s yet to have hunted completely on her own.”

“She fears bears, not that they will hurt her, but that if she were alone she would forget to honor them properly and offend Dirthamen,” Tamlen said. When there was no reply he looked between Ashalle and Marethari. They both seemed confused and concerned by that statement. He couldn’t understand why. There was no reason to be concerned about her worry over offending the god of knowledge. It was bad, in his opinion, to offend any god. “She told me that many years ago when I told her she’d need to learn to hunt on her own some day.”

“That is troubling, but useful information,” the keeper said. “Tomorrow, Meiriana is to go on a solo hunt. Tamlen, tell her she is to return with a wolf pelt. Say what you must to convince her she will be fine. She is more than capable of this.”

Tamlen nodded. “It will be done. Might I ask though, why the concern over Dirthamen?”

“Secrets, Tamlen. Dirthamen is the god of secrets. You know this,” Marethari said. 

“He’s also the god of knowledge,” Tamlen pointed out. 

“I just worry about her,” Marethari said. “I worry about all members of my clan.”

Tamlen nodded. It wouldn’t do to argue with the keeper, especially when he wasn’t sure there was anything to argue. He headed away to find Meiriana who was sitting by a fire waiting for him. They ate in comfortable silence. As she was leaving to get ready to sleep, Tamlen explained what the keeper had requested. 

Meiriana nodded as he talked to her then said, “I will do this. For you, and the keeper, and the clan, I will not fail. Though I say, lethallan, I do not deserve this opportunity.”

Tamlen shook his head. “Of course you do, da’len. Why do you think you don’t?”

“Because I couldn’t...because they’re gone.” Meiriana walked away, not waiting for his reply to that. She didn’t want to hear what he might say. She was tired of being told it wasn’t her fault. 

“Couldn’t what?” He was confused, though it probably should have been obvious from her sudden need to leave. When the thought came to his mind that she might have meant her parents, he was caught off guard. He always thought that she didn’t even remember them. That she didn’t blame herself for what happened back then. She was just a little kid. But it was too late to question. She’d already vanished to wherever it was she went to be alone. 

Meiriana awoke the next morning before even the sun and decided to head out to her hunt early. She didn’t think that Keeper Marethari would mind if she got the hunt done early. Everyone had such confidence in her, even though she had none of her own. She didn’t want to let any of them down. There was no way she could fail this task. 

Dawn found Meiriana far away from camp, but with no wolves in sight she pressed on.

In camp it found Marethari and Tamlen frantically trying to find her. 

“Meiriana left hours ago,” a hunter named Geros said from where he was keeping watch. 

“What about the storm?” Tamlen said glancing at the menacingly dark clouds in the sky. 

“Perhaps she will return by the time the rain begins?” Marethari said. “She’s not stupid. Even an apprentice knows hunting in the rain is dangerous.”

They waited. She made no return by rainfall. Marethari wasn’t too concerned until lightning lit up the sky, and thunder rumbled loudly afterwards. 

“Tamlen! Fenarel! Junar! Merrill!” Marethari called on Meiriana’s friends one by one and they all ran to her at once. “Meiriana must be found. She could die in the forest in a storm like this. Take a hunter with you, each of you. Pairs are safer than going alone. I pray to the creators that she isn’t hiding.” 

Tamlen thought for a second and added, “Listen, the rain has probably washed away most of her normal guiding marks. If she is trying to get back, she’s probably lost. As odd as this sounds, she firmly believes this forest is haunted. If you sneak up on her, she will assume you’re a spirit and will hit you.”

The others nodded. 

“This should be easy enough,” Merrill said, “Alright, let’s go.”

The group split and headed off, Tamlen grabbed Geros. “Which way did she go?”

He and Geros headed off in the direction Meiriana went, while the other three went in different directions with their search partners. 

Meiriana dropped down into the clearing, where she and Tamlen had killed the bear yesterday. The rain, now pouring and puddling around, had washed away much that normally guided her. She crossed the clearing and gently ran her fingers over the bones that were lying at the edge. They had been picked clean by wolves and carrion eaters, and the blood was all washed away by the rain. 

“May the creators guide you,” she whispered and dug a small pit to bury the bones in, keeping only a tooth and a claw to remind her. In the mud above the makeshift grave she planted a seed, not from the usual kind of tree the Dalish planted above a grave. No, for nature only nature would do. She planted an apple seed.

“Den must be near,” she muttered, knowing that the amount of wolves encountered yesterday had to mean the den was nearby, though the rain had washed away any trace of tracks that may have led her in the general direction of the wolves den. 

She closed her eyes and listened. She was listening for anything that might be a wolf, but all she could hear was the rain and thunder. Sighing, she decided that heading out of the clearing from the same direction she entered probably wasn’t smart. So she headed out in the opposite direction. As she left the clearing, she felt that something was wrong. Really wrong. But before she could even finish turning around to head back, bandits jumped out of the bushes and grabbed her. 

One pulled her own dagger from its sheath and pressed it to her throat. “Scream and you die.”

She made the choice to drop her bow on the off chance that Tamlen would find her and remember his promise from their first hunt. 

It was over an hour before Tamlen and Geros found the clearing. Merrill and the hunter with her, Vahel, came in from another direction. 

“You haven’t found her either?” Merrill asked glancing around the clearing. She’d been hoping that the next time she saw Tamlen, Meiriana would have been with him. 

“Not yet,” he said sadly. “And the storm is only getting worse.” He paced around examining the clearing, attempting to determine from what direction Meiriana had entered and left it. 

“Uhh Tamlen?” Geros said reaching into the bushes at the edge of the clearing. 

“What is it, Geros?” Tamlen asked walking over. 

“Isn’t this Meiriana’s bow?” he asked as he pulled the bow up out of the bush. 

Tamlen examined it for a moment then nodded gravely. “That it is. But where is she? She would never just leave her bow unless...”

_ “Tamlen, lethallin, did you see those shemlen? Shouldn’t we chase them away?” _

_ “I saw them, da’len. But no, we shouldn’t. They’re not near enough to camp. And there’s too many of them for the two of us. They’d overpower us and then who knows what they would do. Kill us, seems most likely. Promise me, if we get separated and the shemlen grab you. Drop your bow. I will find it, I will know, and I will not stop until I get you back.” _

“Unless what?” Merrill asked walking over, “Tamlen?” The look in his eyes scared her slightly. He looked ready to murder someone, but she couldn’t tell who.

“Shems!” he snapped. “Somewhere in the forest and they took her!”

Merrill nodded. “Then we need to hurry!”

Another hour passed before anything found Meiriana and the bandits. Unfortunately for the bandits, it was wolves. The very same wolves that Meiriana had set out to hunt. The bandits didn’t stand a chance, the wolves caught them off guard. 

The wolves attacked mercilessly. The bandits were dead before they even had a chance to draw their blades. Then the wolves turned to Meiriana. She was already injured, and at the moment wasn’t aware of anything but her own breathing and pain. 

They could have killed her. One of them, the eldest wolf in the group, was a she-wolf whose children were part of the pack. The others growled and snapped at Meiriana as the she-wolf approached her. They wanted to give her the honor of taking down the Elf, it wasn’t often they managed that kind of kill. 

Meiriana made no movement, no sound. She didn’t even know the wolves were there until the she-wolf stepped down on her left leg while circling around her. Her eyes snapped open and she cried out in pain. It was a strangled cry, the frightened cry of an injured child.

The she-wolf stepped back and bared her teeth. When Meiriana made no move to, well, move, the she-wolf walked away. The other wolves followed and the pack left the area, leaving Meiriana to wonder if they were being merciful or leaving her to die a slow painful death. When they were gone she attempted to stand. Rain was still pouring, making Meiriana wonder if the storm was even natural. The rain stung her wounds. The mud and rain only made it more difficult to stand. Her leg wasn’t broken exactly, but it certainly felt like it wanted to be. 

As she stood, she grabbed up her dagger from where the bandit had dropped it. Through the rain she heard a pounding splashing sound, like something running through the mud. Quickly she swung around with the dagger and stabbed the lone wolf of the pack that had decided it didn’t want the Elf to live. They both fell into the mud. She struggled with the wolf for a moment before managing to kill it. When it was done, she was covered in blood, and she wasn’t entirely sure how much was the wolf’s and how much was hers.

She stayed there with her kill, the effort of the fight and the pain leaving her too exhausted to try moving again. 

Tamlen and Merrill found her ten minutes later. 

“What happened, ma vhenan?” Tamlen asked as Merrill and the hunters examined what was left of the bandits. 

“I... killed a wolf... can I go back... to camp... now?” Meiriana said struggling with the effort. 

“Of course, da’len, but what happened with the shems?”

“They’re dead.” It was all she wanted to say. It was all she was sure of. She closed her eyes for a moment and then whispered, “Tell the keeper my Vallaslin...will be for Dirthamen...”

Tamlen nodded and after pushing the wolf corpse off Meiriana’s leg, picked her up. Geros and Vahel carried Meiriana’s kill back to camp, while Merrill made sure that the bandits would never be found. Tamlen didn’t carry Meiriana back until Merrill was ready to leave. He didn’t want to leave her there alone, Marethari would kill him if he did. 

When they were back in camp, Tamlen carried Meiriana to a cot that one of the healers had set up at the request of Geros. Merrill and Vahel went out again to find the other two searchers and bring them back as well. 

The ceremony took place the following day at Meiriana’s insistence. She sat patiently while Marethari applied the blood writing, and the healer applied an elfroot poultice to the cuts on her back. She wasn’t sure where the cuts came from, but she didn’t squirm. This bit of pain was nothing compared to that wolf stepping on her. 

When the ceremony was complete, Marethari announced to the clan, that, “From this day forth, Meiriana Mahariel is an adult.”


	2. Love is Oblivious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet is down so chapter 2 wasn't beta'd and chapter 3 might be late depending on how long it takes for my internet to come back.

“Da’len, wait,” Tamlen called out. 

Meiriana was several feet ahead of him on the trail. She paused and waited for him to catch up. It always amused her that despite being shorter than him, she was faster. Today, they were just out to be out. Should they decide to hunt it wouldn’t be unwelcome. As such, they carried their bows with them. They’d moved camp twice since Meiriana had gotten her vallaslin two and a half years ago. In a few months they’d move again, to the Brecilian Forest. For now though, they were in the Frostback Mountains. 

“There’s no need to rush.”

Meiriana nodded and walked beside him. She still didn’t talk much. He supposed she never would, but something in him had expected her to say something, anything while on this walk. He made no effort to force her to talk though. If she didn’t want to talk, he wasn’t his place to make her do it. He cared too much to force her to do anything. 

After a moment of walking together, Meiriana surprised Tamlen by taking his hand. She did it so casually too, just reached out and held his hand. 

He didn’t say anything even though he was slightly confused. He didn’t pull his hand away either. It felt… right to let her hold his hand. Plus, she was smiling. What confused him wasn’t that she wanted to hold his hand, it was that he’d never noticed her giving any sign that she felt he was anything more than just a friend. Then again, thinking on it, he’d seen her holding Merrill’s hand on occasion. Maybe that was just something Meiriana did--hold people’s hands.

They returned to camp a while later. Meiriana let go of his hand when they began heading back. In camp, no one was the wiser. It never occurred to Meiriana that anyone other than her might want Tamlen to just tell her ‘I love you’ already. And it never occurred to either of them that the others had any opinion of their relationship.

Meiriana headed off to do something on her own once they were back in camp. Tamlen was left alone with the difficult task of attempting to figure out Meiriana’s feelings while ignoring his own. He walked over to the nearest fire and took a seat by it. 

“What are you thinking about?” Fenarel asked him. 

Tamlen looked up, he hadn’t even noticed his friend already sitting by the fire. “What do you think?” he asked, wondering how well his friend might know him. 

“I mean, I already know you’re thinking about Meiriana. But what about her specifically? Her hair? Her eyes?” Fenarel said. 

“I’m trying to understand how she feels about me,” Tamlen said. 

Fenarel laughed. “She loves you. What about that is hard to understand?”

“How do you know that?” Tamlen asked. She couldn’t have told him, Fenarel and Meiriana never talked alone. If Tamlen didn’t know better he’d think that Fenarel might be afraid of her. 

“How does he know what?” Merrill asked walking up to them. She’d been passing by when she overheard them and became curious. 

“That Meiriana loves him,” Fenarel said. 

"Did you really not know that?" Merrill asked Tamlen. She thought everyone knew that Meiriana loved Tamlen. How he could possibly not know that when he spent the majority of his time with her? Well, Merrill just couldn’t fathom it. "You do have eyes don't you?"

Tamlen furrowed his brow. "But how do you know?" he insisted.

Merrill chuckled. It was the only thing she could think to do. He had to be either really oblivious or really stupid to not understand simple gestures of love. Or that all the nicknames Meiriana had for him were Elven terms of endearment. "And I thought she was the oblivious one of you two."

Tamlen didn't reply to that. It bothered him that they wouldn’t just tell him how they knew. It made him think they might just be picking on him. 

Fenarel chuckled. "What's the matter, Tamlen? Don't you believe us?"

Tamlen shrugged. "She's been acting odd."

Merrill and Fenarel exchanged a look. Odd was pretty much the definition of Meiriana. They’d need him to be more specific. So Merrill asked, "Odd how?"

"She hasn't said anything in two months," Tamlen said. "She's been acting weird for the last three years. Ever since the wolf and the shemlen. Haven't you noticed her wandering around the camp at night because she 'can't sleep'?"

Merrill started to tell him that he was overreacting, but then she realized he was right. Meiriana had always been weird but that was odd even for her. “Have you tried asking her about it?”

“Several times, every time she changed the subject or ran off. Eventually she stopped even acknowledging that I asked a question.”

Merrill considered that. “Have you tried asking Ashalle?”

Fenarel nodded and pointed to her across camp talking to Hahren Paivel. “If you haven’t already, she’s right there. Merrill is right. If anyone might know what’s bothering Meiriana, it would be Ashalle.”

Tamlen shook his head then stood up. “I’ll go talk to her now.” 

He turned and walked away from the fire, going straight across camp to where Ashalle was. He didn’t interrupt her and Hahren Paivel though, that would be quite rude, and he was fine with waiting. 

When the conversation was done, Paivel was the first to acknowledge Tamlen’s presence. “Anetha ara, lethallin. Did you need something?”

Tamlen nodded. “I need to ask Ashalle a question.”

“I’ll take my leave then,” Paivel said then smiled. He nodded to Ashalle and walked away. 

“What would you like to know, da’len?” Ashalle said kindly. 

“Do you know what’s bothering Meiriana?”

Ashalle didn’t answer right away. She had to think it through, there was much that bothered Meiriana. “Can you be more specific?”

“Why does she keep only getting a few hours of sleep each night?” It was the most specific he could think of, and probably the root of the whole issue.

Ashalle nodded. “She’s been having dreams of her parents.”

“I thought she couldn’t remember them,” Tamlen said. 

“Not talking about them, and not remembering them are two vastly different things. She remembers much she does not talk about. She writes about them though, in her journal. She writes everything in those journals. If I’m right, since she started writing them 14 years ago, she’d filled over one hundred of them. And burned most of them. Though I don’t know why she would want to burn them. I’m also not exactly sure where she keeps getting them.”

“I think she makes them,” Tamlen said. “I remember Keeper Marethari teaching her to sew shortly after you and her first came here, they were sewing pages onto a leather backing, making a book.”

“That would certainly explain a lot,” Ashalle said. 

“Did the dreams start around the time she got her vallaslin?” 

“Actually yes,” Ashalle said. It was an awfully long time to go without getting much sleep at night, though Meiriana did sleep during the day when she could get away with it. “Do you know what happened to her that day in the forest?”

Tamln shook his head slightly and motioned to the Aravel. “If we sit down, I could tell you what I do know, though it’s not precise, and probably not the full story.”

Ashalle nodded and they walked over to the Aravel and sat down beside it. Meiriana was observing concealed in the shadows just off to the side of the Aravel. It could be enlightening to hear what Tamlen thought he knew about what happened that day.

“All I really know for sure is that she was out hunting before the storm and for one reason or another she did not return when the storm broke. When we were searching for her, Merrill and I arrived in a clearing with Geros and Vahel. Geros found her bow at the edge of the clearing, a sign that I told her on our first hunt to leave should she ever be grabbed by shemlen. When we found her, it was clear that wolves had attacked the shems. Though there was only one wolf left, the one she killed.”

Ashalle took that information in. Wolves and shemlen. Neither of those things should have caused Meirana to start having dreams about her parents again. “Did it seem like many wolves attacked her?”

“No, only the one she killed.”

Meiriana considered all of this. Perhaps then the truth of it died with the shemlen. After all, the humans grabbed her the next thing she remembered was a wolf stepping on her. Probably better that way. Only the dead knew what knowledge her brain withheld from her, and the dead keep their secrets better than the living, better even than the bears.

“Odd,” Ashalle mused. “I wonder why the bulk of the pack didn’t attack her.”

“Maybe they thought she was an injured puppy,” Tamlen said. 

“Maybe,” Ashalle said. 

Tamlen was silent for a while after that. Ashalle put a hand on his shoulder. “Is something bothering you, da’len?”

“I’m not sure,” Tamlen said. He actually wasn’t. He wished that he knew what happened in the woods so he could help Meiriana somehow, but he wasn’t sure if that was bothering him or if he was just tired. “Has she said anything to you?”

“Not recently, no. Why?” It wasn’t unusual for Meiriana to not talk to her. Meiriana had never talked to her very much, not even when her parents were still around. 

“I was hoping she had,” Tamlen said turning to look at Ashalle. “She hasn’t said anything to me either, not in over two months.”

Meiriana nodded in the shadows, that sounded about right. Maybe she should say something soon, but she enjoyed hearing Tamlen talk. She didn’t want to interrupt him and she couldn’t think of anything to say anyway. 

“I think she’s waiting for you to tell her something specific, da’len.”

“Do you know what she did today?” Tamlen said. 

“No,” Ashalle said as she noticed Meiriana step out of the shadows and sit down beside Tamlen. “But I bet one of you is going to tell me.”

“She held my hand,” Tamlen said just as Meiriana reached out and did it again. He jumped slightly not having noticed that she was beside him. 

Meiriana giggled and lifted their hands to show Ashalle. It amused her greatly that he was so shocked by her just casually taking his hand. Eventually he might even puzzle out that she liked him. But for now, this was fine.

“Why is that such a surprise, Tamlen? She used to hold your hand all the time when you were little. The two of you used to be seemingly unable to go anywhere if you weren’t holding hands.”

“It’s just...different somehow,” Tamlen said though he made no move that might make Meiriana let go of his hand. He was sure that there was something she was trying to tell him. 

“There is nothing different, da’len,” Ashalle said. “She loved you then, she still loves you now. All that has changed is that you no longer see that she loves you. Some day that will change, and you’ll see it again.”

Tamlen nodded but did not reply, he wasn’t sure if it was really Meiriana’s feelings that confused him or his own. 

Meiriana’s stomach growled slightly and she giggled. When she went to stand up and go find something to eat, Tamlen stopped her. He reached into the little pouch he wore on his hunter’s belt and pulled out a handful of assorted nuts and berries for her. 

“Don’t leave yet, lethallan,” he said. 

Meiriana took the food and sniffed them, an attempt to be sure there was nothing in them she might be allergic too. She didn’t know the berries that made her sick by site, but she did by smell. When she did so, she gasped. “They smell like you... I mean you smell like them!”

“So you haven’t forgotten how to talk,” Ashalle chuckled. 

“Tamlen smells like nuts and berries!” Meiriana took careful mental note of which kinds he’d handed her as she ate them. 

Tamlen smiled. “I always carry some with me. They’re useful. Never know when you might get hungry.”

Meiriana smiled and held out her hand for more. Tamlen smiled more than happy to share.

Ashalle watched the two of them with a smile. It seemed to her like everyone could see how in love they were but themselves. She just hoped that would change in the future. 


	3. Grey-Warden? Is that a dog breed?

Meiriana heard Tamlen curse under his breath beside her as they watched the shemlen run across their hunting path. There were three of them: one in red, one in blue, and one in green. And if they kept going on the path they were, they'd end up in the middle of camp.

"Cut them off, da'len. I'm tired of shems interrupting our hunts here," Tamlen said, as he ran after them.

Meiriana followed quickly. She knew there was more to Tamlen's anger than just the thought of them ruining the hunt. He was still upset about what happened four years earlier, even though he wasn't sure exactly what that was. She'd figured it out herself one day after a particularly bad dream, but she had no plans to ever tell him.

When she caught up with them all, Tamlen had already stopped the shemlen. She stopped shortly behind them. It would be so easy to just...her fingers tightened around her bow, but she did nothing. It would be so easy to kill them. It would solve the problem of them before they even knew what happened. _If it was so easy, then why couldn't she just do it?_ Tamlen certainly looked ready to, but he was waiting for her. Probably also waiting for them to explain.

"It's the Dalish!" one of them said, the one in blue who was on the ground. Meiriana was a trained hunter and a talented rogue. She could tell a lot of things about someone or some place at a glance, and she could tell these humans didn't have any weapons. She was downwind of them and noticed they smelled strongly of wheat: they were farmers.

She looked past them to Tamlen. He was smirking. She slowly circled around the humans, something told her she needed to keep Tamlen from killing them.

"Let us pass, Elf. You have no right to stop us," the one in red said.

"No? We'll see about that," Tamlen said as Meiriana walked up next to him. His voice frightened her, she supposed it must be terrifying for the shemlen then.

She had her bow at the ready, intent on just frightening them. Despite the past actions of other humans, she very decidedly was not going to hurt an innocent. "What do you think? Bandits, no doubt."

Meiriana shook her head as the one in blue protested, "We ain't no bandits!"

"Oh really?" Tamlen mused then dropped his voice angrily. "Then what are you doing in these woods?"

Meiriana glanced at Tamlen, then the humans. Things would likely end badly here if they didn't have a good reason for being in the woods.

"We were just walking through," blue shirt said.

"And we found a cave," red shirt said.

"So we went inside, and there were ruins and we just thought..."

"So you're more akin to thieves than actual bandits," Tamlen spat.

"We uhh..."

"What should we do with them?" Tamlen asked.

Meiriana considered this. To her, the humans didn't look at all dangerous. They looked like stupid, confused kids. Above all they looked like they were frightened to death. Maybe if they let them go, they would leave and be too frightened to come back. "I say we let them go, you've frightened them enough."

"We'll have to move camp if we let them go," Tamlen argued.

"We were going to move camp anyway," Meiriana said peaceably.

Tamlen frowned. "Where were these ruins you mentioned? I've never heard of ruins in this forest."

"Just off to the west," blue shirt said. "Can we go now?"

"How do we know you're not lying?" Tamlen snapped.

"I..we found this in the ruins," blue shirt said, handing over a small statue that he was holding. "It was just inside the cave. There's more further in, can we please go now? We won't come back. I promise. I swear on me life."

Meiriana lifted her bow and let go one arrow. It landed centimeters away from being in blue shirt's foot. She was doing this only to please Tamlen, let him know she wasn't completely sympathetic to the humans. "Sixty seconds. The next one won't miss."

Tamlen watched the humans run then pulled Meiriana's arrow out of the ground and handed it to her. "That was merciful of you."

"I don't want to hear it. They were unarmed and stank of wheat. I won't kill an innocent farmer," Meiriana said, taking the arrow from him. She pointed at the statue in his hands. "Do you think they were telling the truth?"

Tamlen shrugged.

Meiriana watched as he examined the small statue. It just seemed old to her, but he at least looked mildly interested.

"This writing on the bottom, it's Elvhen. Written Elvish," Tamlen said.

"How do you know that?" She stared at him inquisitively.

"I saw something similar on one of the keeper's scrolls."

Meiriana considered that. "Then wouldn't you think Marethari would like to come see these ruins herself?"

"We should check them out first, maybe see if there's even anything there," Tamlen said. "That seems like the most logical step."

Meiriana nodded. There was something about all of this that struck her as odd, though she wasn't sure what. Maybe it was the air, maybe the humans only took that one thing despite there being more, maybe the ruins never having existed before in the first place. "Something about this is wrong. We should go to the keeper."

"And if we go to her and it turns out that nothing is there? We'll look like fools," Tamlen said.

Meiriana sighed, but he was right. If there was nothing there, Marethari wouldn't be happy in the slightest. Still this didn't seem right, it didn't seem like their place. She followed along behind Tamlen as he led her in a generally westerly direction until the path changed. It stopped being grass and turned into stone. Inlaid along the sides of the path were carvings, but they didn't seem to have any pattern, just a swirling design that might have at one point represented ivy vines.

As they approached the cave, piles of rubble and stone columns with briar patches twinning between and around them lined the sides, blocking off any ways to get to the cave that weren't the path they were on. It was suspicious. Something as old, intricate, impressive, huge as this? They should have found it before now. How had it remained hidden for so long? "I don't like this."

"Relax, da'len. What could go wrong? The humans didn't mention anything alive in the ruins," Tamlen said. He smiled at her.

"If there's nothing alive in here, what were they running from?" She mused aloud. It just didn't feel safe, she wouldn't be surprised if the ruins weren't completely stable.

"Maybe their own shadows," Tamlen chuckled.

Meiriana wasn't amused however. This place, it just seemed unnatural. Nevermind that something other than nature built these ruins. Once they entered the cave, she was hit with a sudden terrible feeling. Tamlen had never led her wrong before, he was careful about things like that. Why then, did she suddenly feel like he was leading them to their deaths? She shivered. This wasn't right. Nothing about this was right.

"Strange," Tamlen said, "These ruins are definitely human. Why are there so many Elven artifacts here then?" He stepped further into the cave, closer to the huge hole at the back where the wall had collapsed into the ruins.

Meiriana stared at him. Surely that wasn't the only thing on his mind.

"What?"

Meiriana shook her head slightly. "Why did you really want to come here?"

"To see the ruins," Tamlen said. "Why did you come here? Aren't you supposed to be with Master Varathorn today?"

Meiriana shrugged. "I'm here because you're here. Because I want to be with you."

Tamlen nodded. "I thought-I was hoping that might be the reason."

"You seem uncomfortable." It was an obvious thing to state, but Meiriana wanted to keep him talking. She had a weird sinking feeling in her gut that something he said here in these ruins might be the last words she ever heard.

"There's something wrong here," Tamlen said. "You've been kind enough to mention that. It's unusual though. I don't normally…feel the same things you do."

"That may be true, but if you're feeling it too, maybe we really should leave."

"I don't know da'len, let's look around a bit first. I'm hoping we might find something here that'll make the keeper forgive me for well…you know."

Meiriana nodded, listening to the sounds of the ruins. It was mostly the sound of rocks bouncing off each other as they tumbled to the floor. "Thanks for covering for me," she said quietly.

"No problem. The keeper would have never believed that you were fighting with him. You know I'd do anything for you," Tamlen smiled. "We should get through this for now. We can talk more later."

"Of course." She followed him deeper into the ruins. For a while they encountered nothing but dust and rubble. Once they stepped into one of the side rooms, that changed.

"What the—" She'd heard the sound first. Hissing of sorts. Hissing. Followed by scraping.

Her next thoughts were cut short when she saw them. Huge, grotesque, purple, something dripped from the edge of their mouths. She stood, rooted to her spot, shaking her head. It couldn't be real. Spiders. Twice the size of Mabaris. _How? Just how?_

She barely registered what was happening. Tamlen. She could see him. Fighting. Fighting the spiders. She knew she had to help him. She knew he needed her. _Why couldn't she move? Why couldn't she just grab an arrow? Why was she so useless?_

"Meiriana!" She heard him call for her. He sounded so far away. Then she was? She was moving. He was pulling her out of the room, into the hallway on the other side.

"Meiriana, it's okay." But was it really?

"The spiders are dead." Then he killed them, alone. She really was useless.

"Meiriana please say something."

She took a shaky breath, then another. "I was really useless back there."

"It's okay, da'len. I should have pulled you away sooner. I know how much you hate spiders, even the normal size ones," he said. Then hugged her gently. "I promise I won't tell anyone about this. You were right, we shouldn't have come here alone."

Meiriana took a few more shaky breaths trying to steady herself, then preemptively notched an arrow to the string of her bow. "I'm ready for what's next. Dalish hunters fear nothing." She paused for a moment as he stared at her. "Except giant spiders."

"You know, for coming to spend time with me, I'm doing a lousy job at entertaining you," Tamlen said.

"I don't know, slaying giant spiders is pretty entertaining. Or it would be if I weren't terrified of them," Meiriana laughed. She actually laughed. It had been ages since she'd done that. It almost surprised her that she still could.

"I think I should find you something more entertaining. If we're going to press on, then let's get to it. I'd hate to be here so long they send out a search party for us," Tamlen said starting down the hallway.

Meiriana followed, feeling uneasy. It was more than those spiders. The air. It felt… sinister. She couldn't really think of a better word for it than that. Nothing really fit. She had to be careful though, there were cracks and tree roots across the floor and it'd be bad to trip and fall. She followed Tamlen past piles of rubble and past skeletons of long dead adventurers, likely killed by the same spiders they'd just encountered. In the center of the hall stood a statue.

"Strange. So much of the architecture here is human, but this statue, the other artifacts, all Elven. Do you recognize this statue, lethallan?"

She stared up at it for a moment. It looked like an Elven woman, with antlers for wings. Could be Mythal? Could be The Halla Mother? "It's familiar…"

"Ancient Elves used to have statues like these all over the place, honoring the creators, back when they lived in Arlathan..." Tamlen rambled on for a moment about the history, while Meiriana held her bow at the ready.

Though she couldn't sense anything living nearby, something about this place just really got under her skin. Were Tamlen not completely absorbed in recounting everything he could remember about the Elven history that might have led to the statue being there in the first place, he would have told her that she was just jittery from the spiders. At least that's what she thought he would tell her.

Meiriana was tense, something wasn't right. She couldn't figure out what, until she heard something. _What was that? Footsteps?_ When she paid more attention to it, Meiriana could make it out as a clicking sound. She tensed up and the string of the elf's bow cut into her fingers, but she wasn't concerned about that. She barely even noticed it. That sound. It was the distinct clicking of bone on bone. It was familiar. As was the sound that accompanied it, the rattling of armor plating.

She turned quickly at the repeated sounds of steps. She shook her head. "No. No. No." she muttered as she backed away.

Alas, Meiriana watched in silent horror as the skeletons rose. She couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. String puppets came to mind as she stared between the one in front of her and the one behind her.

She knew she had to fight them, had to kill them. But how do you kill something that's already dead?

The more recently passed of them still had skin, though it was withered, grey, and stretched taunt over the bones and under armor that still seemed new despite being ancient. It was creepier that once upright they were as graceful as any warrior. She tried to reason with herself. _Surely it was all a nightmare._ She closed her eyes and shook her head. It couldn't end like this. They're just mindless beings with nothing but black voids where eyes once were. A nightmare.

Her life flashed before her eyes and, as the nearest one drew its blade, she tripped on a crack and fell back against Tamlen, sending the arrow she let fly into the ceiling which crumbled, making rubble rain down. Those skeletons were no more, but there were others.

Her abject horror did not last long though, and she snapped out of her shock as Tamlen moved behind her, fending off approaching skeletons from the other side. Now she was quick to respond, letting loose two arrows that bounced uselessly off the front skeleton's sword. The skeletons struck too quickly to get any more shots off.

Together they fought. Sword met shield and bow. When the bow snapped, daggers flashed. There was no time to wonder. No time to think. Sword met sword. Dagger met withered flesh.

When there were fewer skeletons attacking them, Meiriana managed to steal a glance at Tamlen, who was panting a little. At least he was still alive. He looked back at her, and she could see the same thought going through both their heads. How do you know when a skeleton dies? Skeletons don't bleed. They crumble to the ground in a pile of bones. It would have been comedic if they weren't fighting for their lives. Once they fell they stayed down. It was getting them down that was hard.

The ruins echoed with the clash of steel on steel and steel on iron. Meiriana hit the floor more than once. She just jumped back up. Daggers never missed their mark. Still, the skeletons did not fall. Out of frustration when one made to run her through, she jumped aside, kicked out, and shattered its spine. Finally it fell.

Turning too quickly to check on Tamlen, she fell to the floor and watched as her daggers skidded just out of reach. No problem, Meiriana thought as she snatched Tamlen's bow. Arrows were just as good. She didn't even need to stand fully before letting them find their marks. Moving targets were second nature. Just don't hit the swords.

Her arrows flew true and, for the first time since they were first attacked, the couple started to tip the scale of the battle to their favor.

Once the last one fell, taken down by an arrow of Meiriana's that had nearly hit Tamlen's ear, they looked at each other again, both panting more heavily and wondering what could have caused the dead to rise.

"This place is cursed," Meiriana said pushing Tamlen's bow into his hands. She retrieved her daggers with a huff, shoving them back into their scabbards and kicking the piles of bones as she went. She hoped that if they were scattered, they might stay dead this time.

She took a moment to rest now that she was sure the fight was over. She sunk to the floor and rubbed her aching leg. Falling on stone hurts after a while. "We should leave, we've found something to tell the keeper. We shouldn't press our luck with whatever is behind this door."

Tamlen walked over and placed his hand on the door.

"What are you doing?" Meiriana asked as he knelt on the floor feeling around the door.

"There's something…I don't know what, but something…on the other side of this door. The air all around it feels slightly warmer," he said.

"And that's good?" she asked.

"Hopefully it means there's a way out on the other side," Tamlen said. "That would be proof this is the end."

Meiriana closed her eyes and nodded. She didn't like how he said that. But she knew he meant that this was the end of the ruins. Still, none of this felt right. Nothing about this felt safe. For his sake, as well as her own, she hoped there was nothing behind that door except a crumbled wall or path back to the forest. A path, she hoped, with a distinct lack of giant spiders either dead or alive. "Alright then, let's get this over with."

Tamlen opened the door as she stood. Together they walked into the next room.

In the center of the room was the only thing in the ruins seemingly untouched by age. A mirror. It was huge, at least a foot and a half taller than Tamlen, and made of the strangest blue reflecting glass that Meiriana had ever seen.

"Well, that's unusual. We should go now," Meiriana said. Whatever was wrong with these ruins, the feeling was strongest in this room. That mirror had to be causing it.

"Oh come on, da'len. This mirror, aren't you the slightest bit curious about it? It's the only thing in here still in one piece," Tamlen said. "Let's at least get a closer look at it."

Meiriana sighed. "I'd really rather we didn't. Something's not right here."

Tamlen chuckled and approached the mirror anyways. Meiriana lagged behind. She didn't want to get any closer to that thing than she had to.

"It's amazing," Tamlen said. "I can see things in this mirror. It's showing me things…"

_This was all rather creepy._

"Wait, there's something moving in there!"

 _Shit. That had to be bad._ She ran up to look. She couldn't see anything moving, but the mirror was changing colors. There is no way that's good. She grabbed Tamlen by the arm. "We have to leave now!"

Tamlen nodded but when he tried to pull away, found himself unable. "I can't move! Help me, da'len. Whatever that thing is, IT saw me." Meiriana pulled and pulled. There was a bright white flash of light, as whatever was in the mirror escaped, and she and Tamlen fell back, hitting the ground so hard that everything went black.

The next thing Meiriana was fully aware of was hushed whispers. She groaned and sat up on the cot… _wait cot? Where was she?_

"Oh thank the creators you're awake!"

She groaned at the sudden loud voice. _Who was that? It sounded like Ashalle. But that couldn't be right unless she was back in camp. But if that was true, where was Tamlen?_

"I'm so glad you're awake. We feared the worst."

Meiriana turned to look at who was speaking to her. It was indeed Ashalle. "Where's Tamlen?"

Ashalle sighed. "He…wasn't with you."

"I don't understand."

Ashalle stood then helped Meiriana to stand. "Someone else will be able to explain it better than I."

Meiriana followed Ashalle into the center of camp, where they were met by Fenarel. "You're awake."

"I noticed."

Ashalle headed off leaving Meiriana and Fenarel alone to talk.

"I…I need to talk to Marethari. Someone is looking for Tamlen, right?" She supposed it said something about her that she cared more about Tamlen's safety than her own.

"Of course," Fenarel said. "When the shem carried you into camp, he only had you. Marethari immediately sent hunters out to search for Tamlen."

"Shem? What shem?" Surely she would have remembered there being a shem, though who's to say what happened after she blacked out?

"The one who carried you back. A tallish fellow, with a short black beard. He was no ordinary shem either, he's a Grey-Warden."

Meiriana supposed that would be more impressive if she remembered what a 'Grey-Warden' was. "Grey-Warden? Sounds like a dog breed."

Fenarel chuckled. "They're warriors. Their job is fighting darkspawn, but enough chit-chat. You wanted to see Marethari, and she wanted to see you too. Best not keep her waiting then." He turned and led Meiriana through camp to Marethari. "Here she is, wide awake."

"Thank you, Fenarel. Give us some time alone please," Marethari said with a gracious nod.

Fenarel bowed slightly and walked away.

"I'm glad you're awake, da'len. When Duncan carried you into camp, I feared the worst," Marethari said.

"Duncan? Is that the Grey-Warden's name?" Meiriana asked.

"It is indeed. When he brought you back, you were very sick. Pale as a spirit and barely breathing. I've been working for three days with the old magic to try and help you get better. At first I wasn't sure that it was working, but you're awake now. What exactly do you remember? All Duncan would say was that he found you passed out in front of some ruins in the forest and was heading back to investigate them."

"I remember a mirror. Tamlen said he saw things in it, and when I tried to pull him away from it there was a bright white flash then everything went black."

"Were there any darkspawn?"

"I don't think so. Before the mirror, there were giant spiders and living skeletons. That's all I remember." She chose to leave off the shems that started the whole thing, afraid she might get in trouble for not coming back first like she'd wanted to.

"Living skeletons? Dark magic maybe, but not darkspawn," Marethari mused. "Right. If you feel up to it I'd like you to take Merrill and go back to the ruins. Try to find Tamlen, or any trace of where he might be now. Please. Duncan went back but I can't expect him to search for our missing hunter."

"Might I take Fenarel too? The more eyes the better."

Marethari nodded. "Yes, now go. And do try to be careful."

Meiriana nodded and headed off to find Merrill and Fenarel. She walked past Master Ilen when he called out for her, so she stopped and walked over to him. "Yes?"

"Please tell me you weren't planning on heading back out, unarmed," Master Ilen said sternly.

"I uh… no, Master Ilen. I was planning on heading out, with two armed guards. Merrill and Fenarel. I…can't believe I didn't notice my daggers being gone," Meiriana said sheepishly.

"It's alright child, you've been sick. Here, I've got a solution for you." Meiriana followed him over to his Aravel. Noting as she did so that he'd been busier than normal with his woodshaping, he'd usually put the tools away after completing his projects for the day.

"What happened to the bow you left with?" Ilen asked as he picked up different ones from one of his work tables and compared them.

"It…broke in a fight against living skeletons," she said. Even if he didn't believe her, she was being honest.

"Did the string break or the wood?" Ilen asked. It was important, there were two bows he could give her that might remedy the situation.

"The wood. It would have held, but bows aren't designed to block swords," Meiriana said.

"They most certainly aren't. I suppose it's a bit too late to warn you not to use your bow in close quarters, it's ineffective."

"It worked fine until the sword," Meiriana said. "But I do understand. Bows are ranged, daggers are for close combat."

Ilen picked the bow with reinforced wood, as well as her quiver and daggers and a belt. He walked over to a clean work table with her following, then laid each item on the table.

"Alright, da'len for your journey we have these things." He pointed at the bow. "One short-bow, reinforced elm. One newly reinforced quiver. I've sharpened your daggers, and repaired the sheaths, might I remind you to try not to land on your back, not only does that damage your quiver and dagger sheaths but it can damage your spine as well. And this." He held up the belt. There were three pouches attached to it. The one that caught her attention was light brown with a white cloth sewn on it. On that cloth in black paint was the letter T.

"That's got Tamlen's pouch on it!" She gasped then covered her mouth ashamed of interrupting Master Ilen just for that.

"That it does. You were holding it when you were brought to camp. I figure Tamlen might want it back when you find him. The other two pouches are yours now. You can use them as you please, but the bigger of the two was designed to hold herbs."

"Herbs?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know about herbs, you've helped make plenty of poultices and other things with herbs," Ilen said.

"I wasn't aware anyone actually paid attention."

"And I wasn't aware that being sick would make you more talkative," Ilen said. "Come over here and we'll get you all situated."

Meiriana nodded and took the belt from him as he situated the quiver on her back. Once she'd gotten the belt on she picked up her daggers, considered what would be a better way to wear them, and decided to attach them to her belt instead of on her back.

"Interesting choice, da'len," Ilen said as he handed her the bow.

"I think it might be more convenient. I guess we'll see," Meiriana said. She bowed slightly.

"Go now, da'len, you mustn't keep Tamlen waiting," Ilen said.

She nodded and headed off again, intent on actually finding Merrill and Fenarel this time.

She wasn't expecting Fenarel to find her first and almost instinctively hit him when he put his hand on her shoulder. Luckily for them both he jumped back when she swung around.

"Easy, lethallan, it's just me," he said.

"Sorry," Meiriana said. "I was just looking for you."

Fenarel smiled. "And I was just looking for you. Remarkable. What did you need?"

"I need you and Merrill."

"And that's more remarkable, she asked me to find you. She's waiting."

Meiriana followed behind Fenarel as he led her through camp to Merrill who was waiting by the path that Meiriana and Tamlen had left on only three days prior.

"It's about time," Merrill said. "Marethari told me I'm to accompany you back to the ruins."

"So what did you need me for?" Fenarel asked.

Meiriana stared at him in disbelief, surely it was obvious.

"Because you're coming with us," Merrill said, as Meiriana nodded in agreement.

"Oh, okay then," Fenarel said.

"Lead on Meiriana," Merrill said. "You're the only one who knows the way."

Meiriana nodded and led them out of camp, along the path. When they got to where she and Tamlen had ran into the shems, she paused for a second to grab her bow. Something was wrong, the air had a familiar eeriness that it hadn't had before. The same eeriness that she'd felt inside the ruins. It shouldn't have extended this far. It didn't last time.

"What is that?" Fenarel gasped staring at the creatures that lined up along the ridge at the side of the clearing. They looked slightly like dwarves, but with skin that appeared to be rotting off.

"I'm not sure, feels evil though," Merrill said.

Meiriana notched an arrow and cleared her throat. "Watch out!" She let the arrow fly, intercepting the one that flew straight for Merrill. Fenarel quickly let fly his own arrows while Merrill sent out her own magical charges. The creatures fell quickly, standing no chance against two highly skilled archers and a mage.

"Perhaps," Meiriana said slowly. "Those are darkspawn. Marethari asked if I had ran into any before. I hadn't. Now, I think we have."

"Meiriana, are you alright?" Merrill asked.

"You look pale," Fenarel said.

"And your voice is scratchy," Merrill added.

Meiriana nodded. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. We need to keep going. Don't worry about me."

Merrill and Fenarel exchanged a worried look but agreed and followed Meiriana along the way. They ran into no more darkspawn, but paused in a smaller clearing to investigate the still warm ashes of an abandoned campsite.

"Must be Duncan's," Merrill said. "He must already be at the ruins." She paused, listening for the sounds of the forest trying to hear if there were anymore of those things nearby but heard nothing. "Do you hear that?"

Meiriana shook her head. "The animals are silent."

"Exactly. And there's an evil in the air. Whatever was unleashed in those ruins, it's spreading."

Meiriana led them to the ruins, hesitating for only a moment before leading them inside. They went past bodies that weren't there the first time, bodies of the same creatures they'd killed on the way, bodies of giant spiders—Meiriana tried hard not to look at those. They followed the sounds of fighting to the back of the ruins.

Merrill and Fenarel were quick to join the fight against the creatures, not even questioning why a human, dog, and city elf were fighting the darkspawn first. Meiriana notched an arrow to her bow string. Her hands shook, the arrow flew, wobbly but hit its mark. She notched another, the string snapped painfully against her arm leaving a cut, that arrow flew true, embedding itself deep in the back of the last creature standing, it fell.

Meiriana took a few shaky breaths and walked over to the others.

"Meiriana," Merrill gasped and ran over to intercept her. "You're bleeding."

Meiriana shrugged. "It happens."

Merrill sighed and the human walked over.

"Allow me," the human said. She reached into the pack she had slung over her shoulder and pulled out some bandages and a small health poultice. "This might sting a bit."

Meiriana tried to remain still as the human worked. It was difficult as she was beginning to feel lightheaded from standing and moving around so much. When the human was done, Meiriana lightly touched the bandage and nodded her thanks.

"She means to say thank you," Merrill said. "Are you with Duncan?"

"I've heard stories," the city elf said walking over to them. "Of how observant and graceful the Dalish are. You don't seem very observant to me."

"Please don't insult them," the human said.

"Do not tell me what to do, human," Kallian said bitterly. "I'm merely stating facts."

"Yes, we're with Duncan. My name is Ella. This is Kallian," the human said.

"Right, well whatever you're here for, I doubt Duncan will easily share it," Kallian said. "But you're welcome to ask him. He's right in there," she added pointing through the door behind them.

"That's where the mirror is," Meiriana said.

Merrill and Fenarel followed Meiriana through the door, while Ella and Kallian stayed behind.

Duncan turned around from examining the mirror when he heard footsteps.

"Ah, hello. Nice to see you walking around again," he said to Meiriana. "Last time we spoke you were barely conscious. Your keeper didn't send you to check on me did she? I told her I would be fine."

Meiriana shook her head. "She… sent us to find Tamlen."

"Tamlen?" Duncan frowned slightly. "Was he with you?"

Meiriana nodded. "He was. He touched the mirror."

Duncan sighed. "He is not here now. Looking for him will only lead you to heartbreak. This mirror is something called an Eluvian. The Tevinter Imperium used to use them for communication and traveling long distances. Over time, some of them simply break. They become filled with the same taint as the darkspawn. When Tamlen touched the mirror, he allowed the taint to be released. It infected you, and no doubt him as well. I am sorry but he is dead."

"Are you sure?" Meiriana asked. "How can you know? Is…is there at least a body?"

"It is the Grey-Warden's job to know everything about the darkspawn. The taint kills those infected with it. You were lucky, your keeper's magic kept you alive. Tamlen, was not so lucky. He's been infected for three days unchecked. Even if you knew where to look for him, you wouldn't find him alive."

Meiriana bit back tears. "What now?"

"Now we have to bring Marethari the bad news," Merrill said taking Meiriana's hand briefly. "And we should probably destroy the mirror. As much as I'd like to study it, if it's filled with the taint it's too dangerous."

Duncan nodded. "That, I agree with. Stand back."

He drew his sword from its sheath and quickly slashed it. The mirror cracked then shattered, pieces falling to the floor with a sound much like ten windchimes all blowing against each other, or hail on a frozen lake.

"We should return to your keeper," Duncan said sheathing his sword. "I need to discuss your cure with her."

Meiriana tilted her head slightly, immediately regretting that choice when it just made her even more dizzy. Fenarel stepped up and steadied her.

"So Meiriana is still sick?" Merrill asked.

"Yes," Duncan said. "Marethari's magic worked only to slow the progress of the illness."

"And you know a way to cure it?" Merrill asked.

Meiriana shook her head. "You are positive we won't find Tamlen in here?"

Duncan nodded.

"Then let's go. Are your friends coming too?"

Duncan looked past them to his two Warden-Recruits. "Yes, unless you'd prefer they didn't."

"Marethari will already want to move camp once we tell her about the darkspawn," Merrill said. "I doubt two extra guests will be all that unwelcome."

They headed back to camp then, Fenarel lending Meiriana a steadying hand. When they arrived back, Marethari met with them.

"I take it then," Marethari said. "That you were unable to find him."

Meiriana looked down and shook her head.

"I wasn't expecting you back so soon Duncan, are these the recruits you told me about?"

"I wasn't expecting to come back so soon either," Duncan said. "I wish to discuss Meiriana's cure with you."

Marethari nodded. "Of course. Meiriana, will you go to Hahren Paivel? Let him know what happened. Ask him if he will prepare a funeral for Tamlen."

Meiriana took a deep breath and nodded.

"Come see me at my Aravel when you are done, we should be ready to discuss the cure with you by then."

Meiriana nodded once more and headed off to Paivel whom she could see talking to some children in front of a fire nearby. She sat down on a stump and waited for him to notice her, not wanting to interrupt him.

He finished his story and walked over to her. "Da'len, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him. The pain in her eyes said a lot, her words said more. "I failed. I couldn't find him. I couldn't bring him back. It's all my fault that he's gone in the first place."

Paivel knelt down and took her hand. "Da'len, do not blame yourself for this. It is not your fault."

"Marethari asked me if I would ask you to perform a funeral for him. I…I don't want to believe he's actually gone. Is that wrong of me?" Meiriana said trying to hold back her tears.

Paivel sighed. "Fate seems determined that I shall sing funeral songs for the ones I held in my arms as babes. It is not wrong of you to wish your best friend still alive. We might not have his body, but we can still ask the creators to guide him to Uthenera."

Meiriana nodded and listened as he approached the fire and recited an old poem.

"In these trying times," he said to her when he was done. "It is more important than ever that we pass on our knowledge to the children. Would you like to help me tell these children the story of what makes us Dalish?"

Meiriana stood up carefully and walked over to him. "I don't know how much I remember right now," she said.

Paivel nodded understandingly. "Do you remember how it began?"

"Yes."

Paivel garnered the attention of the children once more. "Come children, gather 'round and hear the tale of what makes you Dalish. Hear of the Fall of the Dales. Da'len would you like to begin?"

"It all started very long ago, when the Elves were still slaves," Meiriana said.

Together they told about half the story before Meiriana quietly said, "I need to sit down. I'm sorry."

Paivel smiled gently and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's alright da'len. Isn't it children?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Please don't overwork yourself," one girl said.

"Take care of yourself, lethallan," another said.

Meiriana nodded and smiled gratefully and took a seat again near the fire. Shortly, Ashalle walked up to her.

"Da'len, I had heard you were back," Ashalle said kneeling down beside her.

Meiriana looked up at her. "I miss him already," she said quietly.

"I know, da'len. I do too," Ashalle said and gently hugged Meiriana. "I always hoped in the end that you two would be together."

"We were together?"

"I mean…bonded," Ashalle said gently.

"Oh…I had hoped that too," Meiriana said quietly. "I think he did too. I… I told him I went… just to be with him… he said he had hoped that was the case… and we'd talk about it later… but now we can't…"

Ashalle hugged her again. "It does no good to dwell on these things for long. You should mourn him as is proper, but he wouldn't want you sulking. Honor him, da'len. From what I heard, the darkspawn cost him his life. Make them regret that da'len."

"But… how?"

"Ask the Grey-Warden. That's his specialty after all," Ashalle said. "I just don't like seeing you so dejected. You have Tamlen's pouch. You have his memory. You have his last words. Da'len, you have more than anyone could hope for."

Meiriana nodded and stood up. Ashalle gave her one last hug then headed off to do something.

"We are the Dalish," Paivel said as he was ending his story.

"Keepers of the lost lore, walkers of the lonely path. We are the last Elvhen. Never again shall we submit," Meiriana said in conjunction with him. "This is the oath of the Dales."

"It's good to see that you are well enough to still know the oath," Paivel said as the children scattered to do their chores.

"It feels good to still know the oath," Meiriana said.

"Go see Marethari," Paivel said. "I believe she is waiting for you."

Meiriana nodded. "Thank you," she said.

"I will gather the clan, tell Marethari I will perform the funeral."

Meiriana bowed slightly then headed to find Marethari and ask her what she was to do next.

Marethari smiled as Meiriana approached. "We were just waiting for you," she said.

Meiriana nodded. "Paivel will do the funeral." She paused for a moment then added, "Might I ask a question of the Grey-Warden, before you tell me what has been decided?"

Marethari and Duncan exchanged a slightly confused but mostly curious look. "Of course da'len," Marethari said.

"The darkspawn… taint… that's what killed Tamlen right? It's possible to kill the darkspawn… I've done it. What I want to know… there is more of them. How do I fight them?"

Duncan smiled slightly. "That's actually part of what we were going to tell you."

"According to Duncan, there is a solution to your unique problem," Marethari said.

"It requires that you become a Grey-Warden, as Wardens are immune to the taint," Duncan said.

"If I become a Warden… I can fight them? I can make them pay for taking Tamlen away from me… us?" Meiriana asked, she was determined. On the edge of her voice her inner feelings of exhaustion and fear made themselves known.

"Yes," Duncan said. "You should know that it isn't easy to become a Warden."

"I don't care. It won't do anyone good if I die of the taint," Meiriana said. "I want… I want to be useful."

"Then you will join me, and we shall travel to Ostagar with your fellow recruits, Ella and Kallian," Duncan said.

"I… I would like to stay for Tamlen's funeral. If that's alright?" Meiriana said.

"Our business is urgent. But I cannot deny you that. We will be waiting by the path out," Duncan said rounding up Ella (and her dog) and Kallian who were simply waiting beside the Aravel, neither wanting to do anything that might make the Dalish angry at them.

Marethari took Meiriana by the hand and led her to where the funeral took place.

Meiriana stood beside Paivel as he sang the songs for Tamlen. No one questioned her taking that spot, there could be no doubt now that she and Tamlen would have been bonded, had he lived. When the songs were done and the tree planted, Marethari announced that Meiriana would be leaving with the Wardens. She twisted the truth slightly, not wanting the clan to fear having to mourn for yet another young elf so soon, and said that Meiriana had chosen this path for herself as a way to honor Tamlen's memory and bring honor to all Dalish by fighting against the darkspawn.

Meiriana nodded and when it was time for her to leave made sure to hug all her friends and clansmates. She hugged Merrill extra, as Merrill looked especially sad that Meiriana was leaving so soon after they lost Tamlen. The last one she hugged was Marethari.

"I will try to make the clan proud," Meiriana whispered to her.

"You already have, da'len," Marethari whispered back. "Please try to find us when it's all over. We're heading north."

Meiriana nodded, then turned and headed up the path to where Duncan and the other recruits were waiting. She turned back one last time and caught Merrill's eyes no one else was looking and she mouthed to her, "I will see you again. Please don't forget me." And Merrill nodded and mouthed back, "I could never forget you."

Then she joined Duncan and asked only one question as they headed off. "How far away is Ostagar?"


	4. These dorks ship themselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the armor: http://subtletyislost.tumblr.com/post/137677852186/very-important-thing

It took two days for them to arrive at Ostagar. 

Meiriana lagged behind at first. Neither Duncan nor Kallian wished to slow. After the fifth time that she found herself far enough away from her new companions that she couldn’t hear them, she noticed Ella stop and wait for her. 

“Let me carry you, my lady,” Ella said when Meiriana caught up to her. 

Meiriana sighed but agreed and let Ella carry her on her back, the way the older elves did with small children. She didn’t want to admit it but there was something about Ella that she liked. Maybe it was that she was one of the only humans she’d met that hadn’t insulted her with the first words said to her. Ella’s Mabari whined gently.

“I am not carrying you,” Ella said.

“What’s your dog’s name?” Meiriana asked quietly as Ella jogged to catch up with Duncan and Kallian. 

“Maric,” Ella said. 

Maric barked happily. 

“That’s a nice name,” Meiriana said with a yawn. 

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep, my lady, it’s still a while yet before we reach Ostagar,” Ella said. 

“Okay…”

Ella didn’t say anything when she caught up with Duncan and Kallian again. Duncan at least acknowledged what she was doing by smiling and nodding slightly, but Kallian didn’t even look at her. Kallian had been rather curt and angry with Ella the entire time they were traveling together. She wondered what made her think that way, but then again…Kallian was a city elf. She’d probably had her fair share of bad experiences with Human nobles.

“Ella…” Meiriana said quietly. “What’s it like?”

“What’s what like, my lady?” Ella asked. 

“Being Human, I guess. Maybe the place you come from?” Meiriana wasn’t making much sense to herself and she actually didn’t want to be talking but she just had a feeling that there was something she had in common with Ella and she wanted to find out what it was. She thought she felt Ella tense up at that question, but it could have just as easily been from stepping down off a rock or something.

“I’d rather not talk about any of that right now,” Ella said. 

“Oh, okay. Maybe later?” Meiriana asked resting her head on Ella’s shoulder. 

“Later,” Ella agreed.

Duncan stopped a short ways ahead of them, at the top of a hill. When they were caught up he glanced to make sure they were all there before motioning with his arm, to the right. “The ruins of Ostagar, this is where King Cailan and his army are making their stand against—” he motioned to the left toward a massive force of Darkspawn gathering just at the southern edge of the wilds and moving closer. “The darkspawn horde.”

“Are there even enough soldiers in all Ferelden to take on a force that big?” Kallian asked. 

“We shall see,” Duncan said. 

“That’s very cryptic,” Kallian countered. 

Meiriana looked up. “I’ve heard stories. My people tell of Asha'belannar, a woman who lives in the Wilds. She’s really old and really wise and there was something else, but I don’t remember it.”

“Perhaps they speak of Flemeth,” Duncan said leading them down the hill and continuing on to Ostagar. “The legendary Witch of the Wilds.”

“Maybe,” Meiriana said. 

“I thought she was just that,” Kallian said. “A legend.”

“Maybe she is,” Duncan said. “Maybe she isn’t. What’s important isn’t her, it’s stopping the darkspawn.”

They approached the gates. If Meiriana had been looking she would have been impressed, but her eyes were closed. Duncan nodded politely to the soldiers that opened the gates for them. Shortly inside they were met by King Cailan.

“Duncan, you’ve returned at last!” Cailan said. “So I will have the mighty Duncan at my side in battle after all!” Then he looked to the three recruits. “I’d heard you’d found a promising recruit but three of them? That’s impressive even for you, my friend.”

Ella wanted to bow, as they  _ were  _ in the presence of the king and she  _ did _ know the proper etiquette, even if she hated the lessons attached to it, but she was afraid of dropping Meiriana. Hurting the already injured little elf probably would not help anyone in the long run, and she had made the unsaid promise to keep her in safety while she carried Meiriana. So, a verbal greeting would suffice. After all it  _ was _ Cailan. “It is an honor to finally meet you, your majesty.”

“You’re Bryce Cousland's youngest, aren't you? Ella, was it? Your brother is already here,” Cailan said, smiling at his fellow noble. She didn't return the gesture.

“You… haven’t heard yet, have you?” Ella asked, her face set in a serious expression.  

“Haven’t heard what?” Cailan asked in reply, confused at the youngest Cousland. The woman in front of him was very different from the girl he'd met a few summers back. He still couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing.

“My father is dead." Ella said through gritted teeth, her voice taking a biting tone "Arl Howe betrayed him, us, and took Highever castle." The words that cowardly bastard hung in the air, unsaid.

“And what of your mother?” Cailan asked, his face the perfect mask of shock. 

Ella didn’t reply. She just stared at him, jaw set. There was a flickering of emotion - pain, both Cailan and Duncan noticed - in her eyes and her lower lip quivered ever so slightly. Ella didn't need to answer that. Her face said it all.

“What she says is true,” Duncan said. “Teyrn Cousland is dead, along with his wife. Arl Howe has shown himself as a traitor and has taken Highever castle. Ella and I barely escaped with our lives.”

Meiriana nodded against Ella’s shoulder, wanting to hug her.

“This is terrible. After the battle, I will turn my men north and we will take back Highever! We will bring Arl Howe to justice for this,” Cailan said with conviction.

"Where is Fergus, your majesty?" Ella added, quietly and not quite meeting his eyes. "I… he should know."

Cailan extended his hand to touch the warrior's shoulder, but thought better of it and let it fall limply to his side.

"Unfortunately, that won't be possible now." he looked at Ella, his eyes practically exuding sympathy "He is out with a small company, scouting the Wilds. I'm sure you'll be able to tell him as soon as the battle is over."

Ella nodded gravely. "Thank you, your majesty," she said. 

"I just wish I didn't have to tell him anything other than a hello," Ella added under her breath. 

“Ella has a brother?” Meiriana asked. She didn’t mean to interrupt, but she was curious and never very good at keeping her curiosity to herself. 

“Duncan, I didn’t think the Grey-Wardens recruited children,” Cailan said. 

“I’d think it’d be more surprising to you that she and I are Elves,” Kallian said.

“Meiriana is not a child, your majesty,” Duncan said. “She is a Dalish hunter.”

“I’ve always wanted to meet a Dalish,” Cailan said. “Though I don’t think any of them have ever wanted to meet me. Is she alright?”

“I’m fine,” Meiriana said. “Just a little bit little… uhh… tired… maybe I’m not okay… I will be though, Duncan said so.”

“That’s all fine and dandy but don’t you have an army to run,” Kallian said to Cailan. “Hopefully you’re doing a better job of getting your soldiers to do the right thing than you are with your nobles.”

“Is that about Arl Howe?” Cailan asked. “Where are you from?”

“Denerim. And no, it’s about Vaughan Kendells, the Arl of Denerim’s former son,” Kallian said bitterly.

“Former son?” Cailan asked. “I’m not sure I like what you imply there.”

“I imply nothing,” Kallian said. “I killed the bastard for raping my cousin.”

Meiriana winced slightly at Kallian’s words and tried in vain to get closer to Ella who she felt safer with, but it’s kind of hard to move closer when you’re already pressed completely against someone’s back.

“You...you what!?” To say the King was shocked would be an understatement. “Duncan, did you know about this?”

“I would not have been so blunt,” Duncan said. “But there are events in Denerim that you should be made aware of.”

“That is an understatement,” Kallian said. 

“Kallian, don’t make… him mad ...he’s supposed to help us...” Meiriana said quietly, too quietly for anyone but Ella to hear.

Ella stepped back a little and whispered to Meiriana, “Meiriana, can you stand if I let you down?”

Meiriana nodded against Ella’s shoulder. Ella let her down gently and Meiriana stood there, slightly wobbly but otherwise no where near as dizzy as she had been back in camp or on the road. 

“Meiriana, are you frightened of me?” Ella asked noting that Meiriana made no move to come closer once she was on the ground again. 

“No,” Meiriana said glancing nervously at Kallian who was arguing with Cailan and Duncan about what was more important sorting out Arl Howe or dealing with the situation in Denerim.

Ella glanced that way too. “You’re scared of one of them?”

Meiriana didn’t reply but she did move closer to Ella and took her hand gently, looking up at her, wanting to know if that was okay of her to do.

Ella nodded and tried to smile encouragingly, but her smile couldn't quite reach her eyes yet. It wasn't anything surprising, considering what she just revealed she'd been through recently. 

“I don’t… know what humans do… when they die… but when there’s time… we could do what the Dalish do… we plant a tree, supposed to be over the grave of the… one who’s gone… but… when there’s nothing left… but memories… we just plant trees...” She was trying to help. She wasn’t sure if it did help or not to offer that, it looked to Meiriana like she might have just upset Ella more. She could see the tears in Ella’s eyes and wondered if it was maybe wrong of her to have offered, or maybe just too soon. “I’m sorry… if I made you more sad.”

Ella stopped trying to shield her eyes with her other hand and focused again on Meiriana   
"You didn't..I just… oh, where are my manners?" she tried to say it lightly, but failed. "I… thank you for you offer. They-" Ella's voice broke and she continued, more quietly, "They'd love it, I'm sure.” 

“But… I made you cry more… is it not because… you are sad… they are gone?” Meiriana wanted to tell Ella that she understood the feeling. She was positive she was never going to see any of her clan again, even if Tamlen was the only one of them that died. Losing him was enough to shatter her heart, she could only imagine that Ella felt the same way about losing her parents, and whoever else she lost. For once in her life she was glad that she remembered her parents and her father’s death, her mother… disappearing. She understood someone else now, because of it. It took a moment for Ella’s words to sink in. “I have… seeds we could plant… if you really think they… would like that?”

Maric whined gently beside them and Meiriana looked at him curiously. 

“Do… you… want pets?” she asked, meaning to ask Maric. It was something she’d asked the clans Halla before and they always seemed to understand.

Ella was confused. “But… I already have Maric?”

Meiriana shook her head. “Pets...” she demonstrated by petting the back of Ella’s hand gently. “...is that… not what it’s called?”

Ella tried smiling again, it didn’t work much better for her this time either, but Meiriana was trying to make her feel better, that much she could tell. Even despite the fact that she was probably in a lot of pain herself. “Most call it petting.”

“Oh… the Halla… they listen… when I ask them… if they want pets… and they let… me pets them...” Meiriana smiled slightly. “Does… Maric like… petting?”

Maric sniffed Meiriana’s hand, the one that Ella wasn’t holding. When he was satisfied that she was good, he licked her hand and nuzzled against it. 

“Maric likes petting, yes,” Ella said, kneeling down and petting him. She motioned for Meiriana to do the same. After a few minutes, when Kallian and Cailan were still arguing and Meiriana hadn’t said anything else, Ella spoke again, "I don't want to intrude or anything, but how are you? I did notice you were speaking very slowly."

Meiriana looked at her and smiled a little. “I’m... okay... or I will be... Do you... know Kallian well?” It was obvious she was trying to keep the subject off herself. 

"I only just met her a few days ago. I don't know any more about her than what she told Cailan." Ella said. Then, after a beat, "At least that explains why she was soaked in blood and almost stabbed me when we were introduced." The warrior mused and then continued, keeping her tone friendly, "I want to know more about you, Meiriana. That is, if you'd like to talk."

Meiriana paused a moment in petting Maric. “You... you said my name.” 

Ella almost responded to that before Meiriana spoke again. 

“You... said it... and it... sounded pretty... Tamlen and Merrill... were the only ones… to ever make my name... even half as pretty,” Meiriana said. “I wish... you could... no, wait... Tamlen didn’t like humans. I... never got to tell him the truth... Tamlen hated humans... because of me... but you don’t seem bad... just hurt... and strong too... and pretty.” Meiriana stopped talking afraid that she was going to either embarrass herself or offend Ella somehow. 

“Meiriana, stop me if anything I ask offends you, but did your clan not really like you?” Ella asked.

“Half of them... thought I was hiding something, and maybe they’re right... half of the older hunters... were jealous I was better... many of them... thought I might be dangerous... and Merrill told me of... quiet talking among... some of them. Talking about me... talking about how... they didn’t understand... why the keeper cared so much... when I went...went missing... during a thunderstorm... that was years ago... they never... never found out...about the bandits.... that... I... Merrill got rid of them... they were dead... when I was found... it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I worry more about Merrill... without me... she’s alone... most of the clan... doesn’t trust her... because she wants to learn the things everyone else says are best left forgotten.” 

Meiriana looked down then said, “That’s not what you really want to know. My dad... was a keeper... for his clan. We don’t talk about him... he was killed... because he... said we could learn from humans. My mom left shortly after... she had her friend Ashalle bring me to Marethari’s clan... afraid that if either she or I stayed in the clan we would get killed... just like Dad. I was seven.”

“Meiriana,” Ella said gently taking Meiriana’s hand again. “May I hug you?”

“Why do you ask?” Meiriana asked quietly extremely confused. 

“Because I think you need one, and I know I need one,” Ella said. 

“No, I mean... why did you ask? No one ever asks first… everyone who hugs me always just… just hugs me... no asking,” Meiriana said quietly. 

"Because sometimes people would rather not be touched," Ella clarified, "and it's always good to ask, so, uh, I did."

“But no one ever asked me before,” Meiriana said moving over to Ella’s side. “Tamlen never asked. He...didn’t have to...not in words...if the words matter to you...then yes, you can hug me… you don’t have to ask… I’ll always let you know if I don’t… want to be touched.”

Ella nodded and gently hugged Meiriana. 

“Ella… do you like… do you like girls?... I have a question… but if you don’t… you can’t answer it...” Meiriana said quietly hugging Ella back.

Ella chuckled slightly. “And if I say I do, quite a lot?”

“Do you think...a girl can love a boy, and a girl... at the same time?... The same way? Like... I mean... do... you think... people... elves... anyone... can love more than one person... in the same way... at the same time?” Meiriana sighed. “My words don’t make sense.”

“They make plenty of sense,” Ella said. “You want to know if I think it’s possible to love more than one person at a time.”

Meiriana nodded. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt you two,” Duncan said walking up to them after finally getting Cailan and Kallian to simmer down enough that Cailan would return to Teyrn Loghain who was probably looking for him. “I should let you know we plan to proceed with the ritual as soon as possible.”

“What ritual?” Meiriana asked pulling away from Ella and standing up. 

“The Joining. The ritual all Grey-Wardens go through to join the ranks,” Duncan said. “I sent Kallian to find the other Grey-Warden in camp, Alistair. You two might want to join her in that, if only to make sure she doesn’t try to fight him.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Ella said standing up. 

“Your Mabari can come stay at my tent across the bridge with me while you two do that,” Duncan said. “You may wander wherever in the camp you like, all that I ask is you do not leave for the time being.”

Duncan walked away with Maric following him. 

“So,” Ella said. “Should we go find Kallian?”

“You never... answered my question...” Meiriana said. “Can you answer... while we look?”

Ella and Meiriana walked across the bridge side by side, rather slowly since Meiriana was still not feeling well. 

“Why don’t you tell me if you think it’s possible first, Meiriana?” Ella said. 

“I don’t know... I think... it might be... I loved Tamlen... but I also love Merrill... and maybe I’ll love other people... maybe I’ll love you... I don’t know,” Meiriana said. “I want... to know you... what you think... what you’re like… things like that... you want to know me too?”

“I do want to know you too,” Ella agreed. 

“Afternoon ladies,” the soldier at the end of the bridge said when they came across. “Anything I can do for you?”

“Ask him... about Alistair...” Meiriana said quietly to Ella. 

“Good idea,” Ella said back. “Perhaps you could tell us where to look for the Grey-Warden Alistair.”

“Alistair? He was delivering a message to the circle mages,” the soldier said amiably. “You’ll find them up the path to the north, accompanied by templars glaring at them as per usual.”

Ella nodded slightly. “Thank you.”

“Your little friend might benefit from seeking out the nurse over at the medical tent. I hear she knows of some herbs that help with many illnesses,” the soldier said.

“That sounds worth looking into, thank you,” Ella said with a nod. “Come on Meiriana, we’ll seek out that nurse first.”

“But... who will stop... Kallian... from hurting Alistair?” Meiriana asked. 

“Meiriana you’re sick,” Ella said. 

“Duncan... said... I’ll only get better... after I become a Warden... I doubt the nurse... could help me.”

"It's still worth letting her check you over. If it's truly nothing, then it'll be quick and we can find Alistair." Ella tried to argue. 

Meiriana nodded. “If you... are sure.” 

“I am sure that we should go see that nurse,” Ella said. 

“I will...because you think... it’s a good idea,” Meiriana said. 

“Oh, I’ll remember that.” Ella glanced at Meiriana and the corner of her lips twitched up slightly in a small smile. 

“Do... you... agree? With what... I said earlier...We keep getting... interrupted,” Meiriana said, not putting much thought into Ella’s response to her statement. “Do you think... you can love... many people?”

“Yes,” Ella said. 

Meiriana paused for a moment. “Is it... that simple? You... just know?”

Ella looked away and stared at the sky. "Yes. I-" she sighed "well, it's entirely possible, as long as you talk," the warrior, still staring at nothing, emphasized that last word with a little more force than normal, "To everyone involved."

“I got in trouble... for talking... to everyone involved,” Meiriana said. “My... clan... really doesn’t... like Merrill... or me... and when I encouraged Merrill... to do what makes her happy... a lot of them... got mad at me.” She sighed and looked up at the sky too, trying to see what Ella might be seeing. “Tamlen said... Merrill and I were cute together... and if... it ever came to it that... he decided he liked me more a sister than... something else... he’d defend... me and Merrill being together... to the point he’d leave too if the talking... of the clan got to be... too much for us.” 

Ella shook her head, breaking herself from whatever spell she had been under and focused on her fellow Warden Recruit. "And I got, well, sort of in trouble because someone didn't talk to everyone involved."

Meiriana held out her hand for Ella. She didn’t want to take Ella’s hand without asking because she was afraid that maybe Ella didn’t want to be touched right now. “I’m...  sure they didn’t mean… to hurt you… or get you in trouble… I promise… I won’t let that… happen to you… again. I… I might not like talking… it makes my throat hurt when… I talk too much… after not talking much at all… that’s why I talk so slow sometimes… my throat hurts… but I’ll always talk to you… if that would make you… happy.”

Ella took Meiriana’s hand and pulled her a little closer. “That would make me very happy. But would it make you happy, too?”

“It doesn’t matter… what makes me happy… it’s never mattered… who makes me happy… that’s all anyone cared about… well other than Tamlen and Merrill, but that doesn’t… I mean… just… I’m not important… I… just want you to be happy… you need that more than me,” Meiriana said then she stopped talking. She remembered having the same argument with both Merrill and Tamlen before, because she could never understand why anyone would care if she was happy or not. 

"Hey," Ella said gently, "No one is more or less deserving of care, of respect, of things that make them happy." She paused for a moment, and then took a deep breath and looked at Meiriana. "So yes, you're important and you deserve to be happy, okay?" Ella paused, again, to contemplate her next words, which didn't take long. "I do want you to be happy too. You need it too."

“I… don’t understand,” Meiriana said. She looked down trying to make sense of why anyone would care, much less the human she’d only just met. When she couldn’t figure it out she decided to look around instead, and listen, what she heard was a dog’s pained whining. “It would… make me happy… to help whatever animal is… making that pained sound.”

“It sounds like a Mabari,” Ella said. Her face lit up with determination. “We have to help it.”

Meiriana looked around and pointed toward the kennels nearby. “I think.. it’s over there.”

Ella and Meiriana practically ran over to the kennels. Well, at least as much running as they could manage, considering Meiriana was still having some difficulty walking.

“Oh good, maybe you can help this poor creature,” the soldier in charge of the kennels said. 

“Yes,” Meiriana said. “Tell me how.”

“I need someone to put a muzzle on him. I can’t give him the medicine if he isn’t muzzled, he won’t let me.”

Meiriana looked at the poor Mabari, he seemed to be in great pain. “Give me the muzzle.”

The soldier handed the muzzle over, and Meiriana stepped into the pen with the dog. “It’s okay,” she said to him quietly. “I want to help.”

The dog sniffed her hand and whined gently, but made no move to stop her from putting the muzzle on him. This elf, the dog decided, was his new master.

“What exactly happened to the poor Mabari?” Ella asked. 

“His master died fighting darkspawn and the poor dog swallowed too much of the blood. He’s sick, but I can help him. I can cure him if I had a flower that grows out in the wilds. But none of the soldiers are allowed out to look for it. If either of you go out there maybe you could find it for me? It’s very distinct. All white with a blood red center.”

“I know the flower,” Meiriana said. 

“I do too,” Ella said. “It’s called Andraste’s Grace.”

“I’ll bring you flowers,” Meiriana said. “Anything to help the dog.”

“You do that and who knows, he may end up imprinting on you,” the soldier said. 

Meiriana nodded happily and leaned over the kennel gate for a moment, holding out her hand for the dog. “I’ll help you get better.”

The dog rubbed against her hand before turning and moving to the back of the kennel to lie down. 

Meiriana smiled gently then took Ella’s hand again. “We still need to see the… nurse, don’t we? You… said we should.”

“Yes, we should. Maybe the nurse can help you like we’re going to help that Mabari,” Ella said. 

“Ella… did you really mean… when you called me important… do you really believe that?” Meiriana asked as they passed by a chantry sister who seemed only slightly confused to see an armed elf walking around with a human, or at least an armed elf that wasn’t a mage. 

"Of course I believe that. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't,” Ella said. 

“But you… barely know me,” Meiriana said. 

"And yet we've both seen each other at our lowest, no?" Ella said, squeezing Meiriana’s hand gently.

Meiriana shook her head. “I don’t… think I’ve quite… gotten there… yet. Or maybe I have… I don’t know.”

"Well, I can say for sure that right now isn't really sunshine, rainbows and puppies - okay, maybe with puppies, but you know what I mean," Ella tried to joke, but ended up wincing internally after the words left her lips. 

“I think there’s something I’m missing,” Meiriana said quietly. “Something… that hasn’t… quite hit me. I don’t know.. .it feels like there’s something… I don’t understand… you asked about my clan earlier? You know… things about the Dalish?”

"I… no. All I've ever heard were, well, the stories people tell to scare children. I doubt they're true, though."

Meiriana chuckled a little. She had no idea what those stories might be but she knew one thing, “Humans should be more… scared… of other humans… they’re much more… dangerous.” 

Ella tensed at what Meiriana had just said, and her following words were clearly coming out because she forced them to: "Yeah, that… is very true"

Meiriana shook her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… you’re not dangerous… I don’t think… I think that you’re nice.” She waited a few moments for Ella to say something anything but she didn’t. “Wait… wasn’t about you… it was about that guy?...The dangerous one that… killed your family? I… want to help you… if that’s okay?”

"I appreciate your offer, but I don't want to bother anyone with that." Ella sighed "I just wish I could warn Fergus. He still has no idea." Her voice broke a little.

“We… I… I know how,” Meiriana said. “I need to find a bird.”

“Meiriana, I appreciate the offer, but no,” Ella said. “Telling him this before the battle would cause him problems. Make him lose focus. Lessen his chance of surviving.”

Meiriana listened closely to Ella’s words. Ella seemed to know exactly what she was talking about that that reassured Meiriana greatly that she was making the right choice in trusting this human. “After the battle then? We could send him… a message either telling him what happened… or asking him to meet with us here in camp?”

Ella nodded. "Yes, that would be ideal. Meeting him would be even better." A pause, and then she added, quieter this time, "Maker give me strength to be able to tell him."

Meiriana squeezed her hand gently. “Would you like a hug?”

“Definitely,” Ella said.

Meiriana closed the already short distance between them and hugged her new friend. Ella was quite a bit taller than Meiriana, so standing up hugging her, her head was resting on the chest piece of Ella’s armor and it was at that moment that Meiriana realized she herself was not in armor. It was something she was sure that someone should have mentioned to her. Being in casual clothes, a linen shirt and linen pants, even though she had her weapons,  _ why didn’t anyone mention this to her? Did they think she did it on purpose?  _

“Ella,” she whispered. “Do you think they have extra armor around here somewhere? I’ll probably need it.”

"Well, I saw a quartermaster nearby, maybe we could see what he has. If he doesn't have anything, then I'm sure the other wardens can help."

“I’m pretty small compared… to all the other soldiers,” Meiriana said, still hugging Ella. “It was hard enough… getting armor with my clan… I had to make… it myself most of the time.” She looked up at Ella and smiled. “Maybe I don’t need armor...if I stand back far enough.”

“Of course you need armor,” Ella said. “Anyone going into battle needs armor. Just because you’re small doesn’t mean you don’t need armor. You could die without armor. I won’t let that happen. We are getting you armor.”

“Mages don’t wear armor,” Meiriana pointed out.

"I bet there's defensive magic. And, well, they don't leave the Circle,” Ella reasoned. 

“There’s mages right over there,” Meiriana said pointing at them. “That’s where Alistair is supposed to be. But where we’re going...” she turned and pointed to the medical tent a little ways up the path. “Is there. I don’t need armor for that.”

"Armor can be the difference between life or death on the battlefield, there's no way we can go without it,” Ella said. 

“Then why didn’t… anyone tell me that I didn’t have armor?” Meiriana whined. “Maybe Duncan has something? He was talking… to my clan’s Keeper for… quite a while… without me.”

Ella nodded. “That would make sense.”

“Go… ask him… while I… ask the nurse… if she has anything… for my fever and sore throat...” Meiriana said. “Please, Madam Knight?”

"At once, my lady" Ella answered playfully, a ghost of a smile on her lips. She saluted smartly then went to find Duncan and ask about what the elves might have given for Meiriana in way of armor.

Meiriana continued on the path over to the medical tent where the nurse took one look at her pale skin and slightly wobbly gait and made her sit down almost before Meiriana could even say why she was there. 

“Sit. Don’t argue, just sit,” the nurse said pointing at a chair. 

Meiriana obliged and sat down with no arguments. 

“You’re one of Duncan’s new recruits? I can tell you’re not a servant, no one would give a servant weapons of that quality. Tell me how you feel.”

“Sick… my throat hurts and I… think I still have a fever,” Meiriana said. 

“No doubt this was caused by those damn darkspawn. Are they the reason?” the nurse said examining the bandage on Meiriana’s arm. “I’m going to change this bandage if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind,” Meiriana said. “That… was caused by my new bow… I… probably shouldn’t use a bow when dizzy.”

“Probably not,” the nurse said as she got the bandage off and checked over the cut. “It’s healing nicely, whoever cleaned this cut did a really nice job with it.” The nurse recleaned it and applied a small antibiotic salve, then put a clean bandage on it. “Alright, you said you have a fever and a sore throat.” She fiddled around with her cures for a moment then handed Meiriana a cup with a liquid mixture in it. “Drink.”

“What is it?”

“Honey, a bit of brandy to cut the honey, and hot water. It might not taste good, but it’ll soothe your throat at least for a little while.”

Meiriana nodded and drank the mixture, wincing as she did so. 

“Yeah, I wish I could make it taste better, but at least you didn’t spit it up like some of the other soldiers or small children do,” the nurse said taking the cup back from her. “As for the fever, There isn’t much I can do for that other than tell you to wear loose fitting clothes, try to find some way to cool off if you can, and drink plenty of water. The mages know healing spells, ask one of them for assistance. I wish I could help you more.”

Meiriana nodded. “Thank you, for what you’ve already done.”

“You’re welcome, warden-recruit,” the nurse said. “I’m sure Duncan has things for you to be doing. I must get back to my other patients.”

Meiriana nodded and stood up. She wondered where Duncan and Ella might be, but she knew where the mages were and that’s where Alistair and Kallian would be provided Kallian didn’t kill him. So she headed that way, passing by an older circle mage.

“You look quite determined, young one,” the mage said. 

“Oh, me? I’m just looking for my friends,” Meiriana said. “Or new friends. You could be a friend? Yes? No? Maybe?”

“Maybe,” the mage chuckled. “My name is Wynne.”

“My name is Meiriana, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Meiriana said with a polite smile. 

“Is there something you would like to know Meiriana?” Wynne asked. 

“Well...the way people talk, it’s odd that mages are here? I don’t understand the problem. The Dalish regard mages highly, they are our keepers, holders of the lost lore, and apprentices to the keepers...and sometimes healers. Are you a healer? Why are the mages here? Why are people so scared of mages?” Meiriana stopped for a moment. She rubbed her hands together. sure that she’d just somehow embarrassed herself. “I’m sorry. That’s… probably too many questions.”

“Humans aren’t like the Dalish though,” Wynne said. “Humans prefer keeping mages together, in a Circle overlooked by Templars. They consider all mages dangerous because of the kinds of things that some mages do. Bad things, like summoning demons or killing people.”

“But not all mages are like that?” Meiriana said. “You’re not like that....are you?”

“No, I’m not like that,” Wynne said. “I am a healer, like you said.”

“A healer,” Meiriana whispered to herself. “Is there a magic way to get rid of a fever? It’s okay if there isn’t, I was just curious.”

Wynne thought about that and motioned Meiriana closer. She put a hand on Meiriana’s head then shook her own. “You’ll be fine without a healing spell. The mages are here to assist in the battle against the darkspawn, as magic can work from even greater distances than a bow.”

“What do you know about the darkspawn?” Meiriana asked. “Have you fought them before?”

“No, I’ve not. But I can tell you what the Chant of Light says about where they come from,” Wynne said with a smile. 

“What’s the Chant of Light?” Meiriana asked. This was her first actual encounter with any form of human religion, she didn’t know anything about it. 

“The Chant of Light,” Ella said walking up to the two of them. “Is a religious text that tells all kinds of stories about religious things, like the story of Andraste, bride and prophet of the Maker. It’s what the Chantry uses to teach people about the religion.” She nodded slightly to Wynne. “Forgive me for interrupting.”

“Who’s the Maker? Sounds important,” Meiriana said. “Wait, religious text...why would a religious text talk about the darkspawn?”

Ella and Wynne both started to say something but were interrupted by someone yelling, “Look it isn’t  _ my  _ fault I’m human! You don’t have to hit me because of it!”

“I think that’s Alistair,” Meiriana said. “And probably Kallian.” She looked at Ella. “Shouldn’t we do something?”

“Alistair, the Grey-Warden,” Wynne said. “You should definitely help him. For someone who used to be a templar, he’s not that strong. Probably couldn’t fight his way out of a room that is only guarded by a child and a dog.”

Ella and Meiriana nodded. “We’ll come see you again.”

“No you won’t, you’ve more important things to do. I have to return to the other mages anyhow,” Wynne said turning and walking away.

Meiriana took Ella’s hand and pulled her in the direction of Alistair’s voice.

“Really! Stop fighting me! I already apologized for the joke!” 

They ran up the steps together to the little area at the top along the wall and stopped dead when they saw Kallian literally trying to stab Alistair. 

“Kallian! Leave him alone!” Meiriana snapped, but Kallian just kept trying to hit him, while Alistair just kept blocking with his shield. 

“If you want to train that badly,” Alistair said, blocking hit after hit with his shield. “I’m sure we can arrange something.”

“Kallian! Enough!” Meiriana yelled. 

Kallian wasn’t listening. She didn’t really care if this guy was a Grey-Warden or not. He was human and very smug about his humanity. She jumped back to ready a strike she was sure would break that stupid wooden shield of his. She ran at him.

Meiriana let go of Ella’s hand and ran over between the two fighters, pulling her daggers free from their sheaths, she stopped Kallian in her tracks, knocking Kallian’s daggers free from her hands, and kicking Kallian right in the stomach. Kallian fell back, winded from the kick. 

“I said  _ enough! _ ” Meiriana snapped. “We need him alive for the Joining. I will not die just because you can’t keep your anger at humans in check.”

“Are you going to stand there and let a child defend you?” Kallian snapped at Alistair. 

“Seems like she’s doing a good job at it,” Alistair said. “I think I won’t do anything that’ll make her mad. Making her mad looks like a good way to lose fingers and I’m rather fond of my fingers.”

“You’re impossible,” Kallian snapped. “What do you even need your fingers for? You’re a man!”

“He needs fingers to eat food,” Meiriana said. “And hold his weapon. Why would he need fingers less, just because he’s a man?” She glared at Ella who was just off to the side snickering. “What?”  _ Was there something she missed here? _

“Yeah, Kallian,” Alistair said. “I need fingers for eating.”

Kallian grumbled something about working with children and picked her daggers up off the ground. She stormed off toward Duncan’s tent.

“Well, I think she was rather lovely,” Alistair chuckled. “I’ve not had a woman look at me with that level of hatred since Lady Isolde convinced Arl Eamon to send me to the Chantry.”

“Ella,” Meiriana said once Kallian was gone. “Was what she said about fingers supposed to be some kind of joke?”

“A rather poor joke,” Alistair said. “I didn’t get it if it was.”

“Me either, that’s why I’m asking,” Meiriana said. She and Alistair looked at Ella expectantly.

“What? Why are you looking at me?” Ella asked. “Is it because I laughed?”

“No, it’s because you’re pretty,” Meiriana said. “Of course it’s because you laughed. I mean you’re pretty too, but I’m asking because you laughed.”

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” Ella said. “We should get back to Duncan and let him know Alistair is alive.”

“Oh right, that’s what Kallian wanted,” Alistair said. “Duncan sent her to find me because we’re almost ready for the joining.”

“So we should go to Duncan now?” Meiriana asked. 

Ella nodded. “That sounds like the best idea.”

“I have to go gather the other two recruits. Duncan brought them in before the first battle here. They’ve been waiting for this for quite a while,” Alistair said. “I will meet you at Duncan’s tent.” He headed off. 

“What did Duncan say? Did my clan give him anything for me?” Meiriana asked. 

“They did,” Ella said handing over a small bag to Meiriana. “I’m not sure what’s in it though, maybe food. Can your armor fit in a bag that size?”

“It does every time we move camp, at least...” she dug through the bag for a moment pulling armor pieces out. There was her gloves, bracers, leather greaves and leather chest plate. “It’s… all designed the same way as the older hunters’ armor, the same design that our master craftsman uses for all the armor. He says the other clans do it differently and differ the armor between the males and females, but he says that’s unnecessary and in certain clans’ designs impractical, even dangerous. Those clans don’t normally face anything other than animals and other Dalish though.” 

Meiriana quickly but carefully so she wouldn’t accidentally have any of it too loose or off center, put her armor on, over her linen shirt and pants. Ella helped her when it came to tying her bracers on. “What do you think, Ella? Pretty nice for armor I made myself.”

Ella smiled slightly. The armor was impressive to have been made by the wearer herself. “It’s amazing. Perfect for you. And protective too.” 

Meiriana nodded and reached into the bag again. “Would you like an apple?” she asked pulling one out. “I have like five. I could never eat five whole apples before some of them started to go bad.”

“I’m not sure that now is the best time for a snack,” Ella said. “But I’ll take one.”

Meiriana smiled and handed her one. “Apples are good.”

“We really should get to Duncan though before he sends Kallian to find us,” Ella said taking a bite of the apple. “This is a good apple.”

“I know,” Meiriana said. She looked at the bag and with her free hand that wasn’t holding the bag felt her bow and quiver both on her back. “I seem to have a problem. If I put the bag on, over my shoulder like it’s supposed to be, like it is when I travel with the clan, it’s going to interfere with my bow and quiver.”

“I could carry it for you,” Ella said. “It wouldn’t interfere with my sword and shield, since my sword is on my belt and I can put it under my shield strap.”

Meiriana watched as Ella detached the shield from her back then put the bag strap over her shoulder leaving the bag resting on the opposite side of her hip as her sword, then put the shield back. 

“I’m impressed,” Meiriana said. “That shield probably weighs more than I do. When did you pick it up? I think I would have noticed it if you had it when you were carrying me.”

“Duncan gave it to me, it’s a warden-recruit shield,” Ella said. “He… the reason isn’t important.”

“It’s a nice shield,” Meiriana said offering Ella her hand. “I particularly like the griffon on it.”

Ella was uncharacteristically silent after that comment. There was a tension in her jaw that Meiriana was sure wasn't there before, and she could swear she saw at least five different emotions clashing in her fellow warden recruit's eyes. 

Then Ella blinked and, just like that, whatever had happened in that moment was destroyed and the warrior was back to her normal self.

Meiriana stared up at her friend for a moment, unsure what to say. After a moment she said the only thing that came to mind. “Would you like a hug?”

Ella tried hard to swallow a lump that just wouldn’t stay down and shook her head a little, as if to prevent whatever thoughts were going through her head to continue doing so. It didn't work. 

"Please" she said, opening her arms.

Meiriana stepped closer and hugged her friend. She didn’t know what might be bothering her friend but she did know that whatever she had said caused it. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to make...you remember things. When this is all over, and we have time, I want to be there for you. Help you through whatever it is that comes next. Is that okay? I...can’t go back to my clan, and I want to help you.”

Ella didn’t reply. There was so much going on inside her head, so much she never wanted to say. She hugged Meiriana tighter, afraid for a moment that if she let her grip on the young elf falter she’d lose her too. It was too much. It was all too much. 

“I’m not going to leave you.”

_ But... would she stay? Would Meiriana really stay if she knew what I was thinking? Why I’m so upset. Would she really still want to help if she knew? What if Meiriana knew? If she knew that had I accepted the marriage proposal between Thomas Howe and myself that was made last year maybe none of this would have happened… Oh maker, I did this. I killed them all with my own selfishness. If I accepted it, he wouldn't have attacked everyone, would be alive and oh maker why did I have to be so selfish and now they're… they're dead because of me! _

“I promise. I’m not going to leave.” Meiriana wasn’t sure that Ella even heard her or that Ella even knew she was whispering over and over ‘please don’t leave’. “I’m right here. I’ll always be right here. Please, please listen.”

Meiriana thought for a moment. There had to be something she could do. If Ella was crying this might have been easier, she’d dealt with people crying before. But Ella just seemed lost, almost stuck in her own head. Ella… her whole family was gone except a brother she couldn’t even see right now. That had to be hard. If Meiriana were in her place she’d certainly blame herself. The way she blamed herself for Tamlen... “Ella please listen, it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. I know it feels like it might be, but it’s not! Everything that happened. It’s all Howe’s fault. He made the choice to hurt them. You made the choice to fight back and try to save them! It’s not your fault.”

Ella shook her head. The first and only sign she’d given Meiriana that she could actually hear her. “No...I...I did this. It’s my fault.” She kept shaking her head and repeating that until she was too dizzy from the movement to remain standing and she sunk to her knees, pulling Meiriana down with her. 

“Ella,” Meiriana whispered. Now able to actually reach her friend’s head she gently pressed her forehead to Ella’s for a moment, then put a bit of space between their faces. “Please look at me.”

It took a moment before Ella did what Meiriana asked. Meiriana couldn’t read the emotions behind Ella’s eyes but she made sure that the ones in her own were wholly supportive. 

“It’s my fault,” Ella whispered. 

“That’s like saying it’s the deer’s fault I hunted it,” Meiriana said. 

“But...”

“No buts, there will be plenty of time for that later,” Meiriana said. She hugged Ella tightly. “Please, let me help you when there’s time, but Duncan is expecting us. We might get to fight something. That would help, maybe?”

Ella nodded, though it was forced and sat back for a moment, pulling away from Meiriana’s hug.  _ I’m no good if I’m weak. _ She took a steadying breath then quietly said, “Please don’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”

Meiriana nodded. “Of course not. I would never tell anyone things about you unless you said it was okay.” She stood up and held out a hand for Ella. “I promise no one but me will ever know about this. And don’t worry, I still think you’re the bravest, strongest, prettiest woman I’ve ever met. Shall we go prove that to the darkspawn?” then she added in a quieter voice, “I promise we can talk about it all later when we’re completely alone and I will never  _ ever _ judge you. You don’t have to keep it all to yourself. It’s not healthy. If you don’t want to talk though, I could make you a journal. I’m pretty good at making journals.” She pointed at the bag Ella was now carrying. “There’s one in there if you want to see what they look like.”

Meiriana wasn’t actually sure that pretending like nothing at all happened was the best course of action, but something told her that was what Ella wanted. For everything to be the same as it was before. 

Ella took Meiriana’s hand and stood up. “The darkspawn won’t know what hit them.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> subtleyislost says: Yeah, Ella and Meiriana were not intended to get along so well. They did this on their own. Sorry. 
> 
> GayWarden says: Seriously, the chapter title is very well earned. They started interacting and it all sort of spiraled out of control. Sorry.


	5. Curiouser and Curiouser

Ella led Meiriana to Duncan who was waiting by a fire in the center of camp.

“Nice of you two to finally show up,” Kallian sneered.

Meiriana just glared in response.

“Yes now that you’re all here,” Duncan said. “It’s time to prepare for the joining. First, introductions. Since you’ll all be working together you should all know one another.”

As he introduced each of them, he pointed at them in turn. “Kallian, from Denerim; Ella, from Highever; Ser. Jory, a Knight of Redcliffe; Daveth, from Denerim; and Meiriana, a Dalish Hunter.”

Ella bowed slightly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you all, even if Kallian did try to stab me when we met.”

Meiriana shifted slightly, moving a bit closer to Ella. She offered only a shy smile to Ser. Jory and Daveth. Everyone here was so much taller than her and it was quite intimidating. Even Kallian was taller than her.

“Right, what are we supposed to do?” Kallian asked. “Might as well get it over with.”

“You are to head into the Kokari Wilds and collect five vials of Darkspawn blood. Alistair will accompany you. Alistair, in the wilds there is an old Grey-Warden outpost. In there you’ll find the ancient treaties that allow wardens to demand aid in the face of a blight. I fear we will need them.”

“So I’m to retrieve the treaties while they fight Darkspawn? Sounds exciting,” Alistair said.

“How these tasks are completed rests on you and the recruits. Just see that it is done,” Duncan said.

“Right. Well, if the recruits are ready,” Alistair said, “The Wilds are waiting.”

“I’m ready,” Kallian said. “I can’t wait to be facing something I’m actually allowed to kill.”

“Not disturbing in the slightest,” Meiriana whispered to herself.

“Right so you, Jory, and… Ella should gather the darkspawn blood,” Alistair said. “While Daveth, Meiriana, and I go collect the treaties.”

Duncan left the to this little task and walked away when one of the soldiers requested him.

“Oh no, I am not going with her,” Ser Jory protested.

“Good, I don’t need you,” Kallian snapped. “Let me go alone. I’ll slay all the damned darkspawn that dare get in my way.”

“Have you ever fought darkspawn before?” Alistair asked.

“Yes,” Kallian said.

“Oh… well then,” Alistair said. “I won’t be held responsible if you die.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t die,” Kallian replied. “Can I go now?”

“Sure,” Alistair said.

Kallian sneered and headed off ahead of them.

“Are you sure that was wise?” Daveth asked.

“You want to argue with her?” Alistair replied.

“You have a very good point,” Daveth said.

“Who’s going to tell her she forgot the vials for the blood?” Ser. Jory asked picking a couple up off the table near to the fire. “Doesn’t she need these?”

“Those are extras,” Alistair said.

“We should take them,” Meiriana whispered. “Just in case.” She wasn’t sure that anyone was even listening to her.

“We should take them with us,” Ella said, echoing Meiriana’s idea. “Meiriana thinks that’s a good idea, and I agree.”

“Okay,” Alistair said. “We’ll take them with us.”

Meiriana smiled slightly, though she couldn’t tell whose input on that he valued more, Ella’s or hers. She didn’t really care though. She wasn’t sure how much she wanted any of these people to become her friends. Not because they were human, but because _what if_ she lost them. The only one she cared enough about to actually talk to was Ella, and honestly, she wasn’t sure why.

When they headed off she followed, slightly behind the rest. She was thinking, trying to figure out how she could be a Grey-Warden when she knew so little about Humans, and nothing about Dwarves. She sighed and looked up to make sure she was still with the rest of the group.

The gate leading into the Wilds was opened for them, then closed again as soon as they were through. In all her life, Meiriana had never been to a place with quite so much water. The Wilds must have been some kind of swamp.

“So there’s darkspawn here somewhere right?” Daveth asked as they were walking.

Meiriana heard them first. Not darkspawn no, something she recognized better. She scaled the side of a small hill to get a better look. “Wolves!” she called out. She quickly readied an arrow and took one of the beasts down before it could get close to Alistair but more were quick to rush in.

Meiriana let arrows rain down on the wolves while the others lashed out at them with sword and dagger. The wolves fell rather quickly to the small band of warden-recruits, unable to really stand a chance against three warriors, a rogue with daggers, and a Dalish hunter.

“That’s the last of them,” Meiriana called out. “For now.” She moved to climb back down the hill but tripped, falling off instead.

Ella caught her before she made it even close to the ground. “You alright?”

“Yes. That doesn’t normally happen,” she said. “I must have tripped on something.”

“And I thought the Dalish were supposed to be graceful,” Daveth said.

“We are,” Meiriana replied. “I’m… just sick. You should see the Dalish in their element sometime.” She dropped down from Ella’s arms and followed behind as they continued up the path.

“I’m sure it’s impressive,” Daveth replied.

A little way further up the path they stopped in front of a wounded soldier.

Meiriana was standing too far back to hear everything the soldier said, something about ‘scouts’ and ‘overwhelmed by darkspawn’. She stepped out of the way when he headed off toward Ostagar, all ‘nicely’ bandaged up by Ella.

“Did you hear that,” Ser Jory said. “An entire band of scouts killed by darkspawn.”

Meiriana shivered slightly. Darkspawn were dangerous sure, but they were going to be Grey-Wardens and this was no time to be frightened.

“Relax,” Meiriana said. “The darkspawn aren’t invincible; they can be killed.”

“But…”

“All Grey-Wardens can sense darkspawn,” Alistair said. “That’s why I’m here. We won’t be taken by surprise like those scouts were. But this does not mean I’m here to make it easier for you.”

“You see, Ser knight. We might die, but we’ll be warned about it first,” Daveth said.

“That’s… reassuring?” Ser. Jory replied.

“What about Kallian though?” Daveth asked. “She’s not a warden.”

“You’re right,” Meiriana said. “She’s not a warden. She’s a menace.”

“I thought you two would get along,” Daveth said. “She’s an Elf, you’re an Elf.”

“She’s a menace. She tried to kill Ella and Alistair,” Meiriana replied. “We should move on; we have a job to do.”

“Right,” Alistair said. “The old Grey-Warden outpost should be near the center of the Wilds. It’s probably best we get there and back before it gets dark.”

They continued on their way through the wilds. Meiriana stopped many times to collect Andraste’s Grace for the Mabari in camp, she really wanted to help the dog. Deeper into the Wilds, a strange feeling came over her. One she’d felt before, back in the ruins. There were Darkspawn somewhere nearby, there had to be.

“Alistair, do you feel that?” she asked, jogging slightly to catch up with him. “Something’s wrong.”

“Yes,” he said nodding in agreement. “Darkspawn.”

“Wait, she can feel them to?” Daveth asked. “I though she wasn’t a warden yet.”

“She’s not.”

“I’m not.” Meiriana looked around for a moment, gripping her bow tightly in her hand. “I don’t know what I feel, just something doesn’t feel right to me.”

“It doesn’t matter why she can feel it. If there are darkspawn, we need to be ready,” Ella said.

“Maybe it’s because of the taint?” Meiriana suggested.

“The taint? That…” Alistair started to reply then stopped. “Is that what Duncan meant when he told me that you’re sick?”

“Yeah,” Meiriana said with a nod. “Have been for about five or six days now.”

“That’s… impressive. I’m impressed,” Alistair said.

“Be impressed when we’re done fighting,” Meiriana replied. “They’re getting closer.”

“We need an actual strategy,” Ella said.

“Just keep them away from me,” Meiriana replied. “This is my only bow and I don’t want to break it.” She looked around for a moment but couldn’t find anything that she could get on top of to give her a height advantage. “I can get them from a distance, and better if I’m above them. Dumb things don’t know to look up.”

“There’s a tree up ahead, would that work?” Ella asked.

“If the darkspawn don’t get us first, yes,” Meiriana said.

“I’ll cover you,” Ella said.

“Right, we’ll face these creatures and then we’ll keep moving,” Alistair said.

Ella and Meiriana went ahead and Meiriana made it into the tree just in time to see the group of darkspawn reach the top of a nearby hill. “They’re on the hill!” she shouted, aiming an arrow, then letting it fly. The arrow struck a genlock in between the eyes and it fell.

Meiriana watched her companions rush in a tiny mass of shields and swords and daggers, to clash with the darkspawn, also a tiny mass of shields and swords. She let loose arrow after arrow into the fight, never once hitting anything other than exactly what she meant to. It took no time for the darkspawn to fall, not standing a chance against people trained to fight, willing—if reluctantly—to give their lives in battle against them.

“Right, well that was fun,” Alistair said.

“I think we have just about enough darkspawn blood, even if Kallian ignores that part of her job,” Ser. Jory said.

“Let’s keep moving,” Meiriana said climbing down out of the tree and recovering a few of her arrows from the darkspawn bodies.

The path to the old outpost had considerably fewer living darkspawn than they were expecting. Probably Kallian’s doing. Most likely Kallian’s doing. Even if she was a little psychotic, she was pretty consistent and thorough with her killing.

Meiriana stayed well back from all the fighting, using her bow didn’t require being particularly close and honestly, it was much easier being further away. She didn’t have to worry about getting injured by the darkspawn.

They made it to the old outpost with no significant injuries and, much to Ser Jory’s surprise, no one dying. The place was nearly completely crumbled to the ground. There was a cracked chest sitting against one wall. While the others searched around the rubble, Meiriana walked over and examined the chest.

“Well, well, what have we here?” A woman’s smoky voice came to them.

Meiriana quickly turned around to look for who was talking. She had to look _around_ Ella who was standing protectively in front of her. What she saw was a sylphlike, exotic-looking young woman with long black hair and large eyes, beautiful beyond words and yet there was something different about her. Something wild. Meiriana was at a loss for words.

“Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned?”

Meiriana had no idea who the woman was talking to specifically, but she stepped around in front of Ella to get a better look anyway. Ella seemed on edge, like she expected the woman to attack them.

“Or are you simply an intruder? Come to these darkspawn filled wilds of mine in search of easy prey?”

Meiriana followed the woman as she walked down from the steps and around the group. She was mostly following with her eyes but as the woman moved she found herself following in body as well.

“What say you, hmm? Scavenger or intruder?” the woman asked as she stopped and looked directly at Meiriana.

“Intruder? I think. And how exactly are these your wilds? Is it the same way that the forest to the east belongs to the Dalish?” Meiriana said. “Why are you asking me though?”

“’Tis you who was digging through the chest. I know these wilds as only who owns them could. Can you claim the same?”

“I can of the forest to the east, I think,” Meiriana replied. “So it is the same way, then.”

“I don’t understand,” Ella said.

“You don’t need to understand,” the woman said. “I have watched your progress for some time. You are not like the other, the one who comes to the wilds only to fight. ‘Where do they go?’ I wondered. ‘Why are they here?’” She walked past Ella and Meiriana over to a small rise at the edge of the ruined tower. “And now you disturb ashes that none have touched for so long. Why is that?”

Meiriana was about to answer when Alistair quietly said, “Don’t answer her. She looks Chasind and that means others may be nearby.”

The woman laughed. “Aha, you fear barbarians will swoop down upon you?” she asked teasingly.

“Yes…swooping is bad,” Alistair replied.

“She’s a Witch of the Wilds she is,” Daveth said. “She’ll turn us into toads.”

He actually sounded scared, but ‘Witch of the Wilds’ meant nothing to Meiriana and she, herself, was mostly just confused.

“Witch of the Wilds?” the woman repeated. “Such idle fancies, those legends. Have you no minds of your own?”

 _She looks bored_ , Meiriana thought as she listened to them.

“You there,” the woman said, to Meiriana. “Women do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine.”

Meiriana smiled, finally there was someone who saw her as a woman and not a child. “I’m Meiriana, it’s nice to meet you.”

“And I am Ella,” Ella said. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

The woman smiled. “Now that is a proper civil greeting, even here in the wilds. You may call me Morrigan.”

Meiriana smiled slightly.

“Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest. Something that is here no longer,” Morrigan said.

“Here no longer?” Alistair said. “So you stole them? You’re some kind of… sneaky… witch-thief.”

“How very eloquent,” Morrigan mused. “How does one steal from dead men?”

“Rather easily it would seem,” Alistair replied. “Those documents are Grey-Warden property and I suggest you return them.”

“I will not,” Morrigan replied seeming slightly offended that Alistair insisted upon blaming her for them being gone. “For ‘twas not I who removed them. Invoke a name that means nothing here any longer if you wish; I am not threatened.”

“Alistair,” Meiriana said. “You’ll never get anything by threatening people. Let me. So then, Morrigan, do you know who took them?”

“’Twas my mother, in fact,” Morrigan replied.

“And can you take us to her?” Meiriana smiled slightly hoping that this would work.

“Now that is a reasonable request,” Morrigan said. “I like you.”

“I’d be careful, Meiriana, not everyone is as nice as you. First it’s ‘I like you’ then ‘Zap!’ frog time,” Alistair said.

Meiriana shook her head. “That’s not how magic works.”

“She’ll put us in the pot,” Daveth said.

Meiriana sighed slightly. _Why are humans so scared of magic?_

“If the pot is warmer than this forest I’ll take it,” Ser. Jory said.

“Follow me, if it pleases you,” Morrigan said, and turned to walk away.

Meiriana followed immediately, not wanting to get left behind and the others, Ella leading, followed right behind her.

Meiriana was very intrigued by Morrigan, the only person she’d ever met that probably had interacted with fewer humans than she had. Morrigan, however, was too far ahead for Meiriana to ask her any questions. So she asked Ella instead. “Ella, what do you think about all this?”

Ella smiled slightly despite being tense. “If you’re positive that magic doesn’t work like that, then I believe you.”

“Oh, I meant mostly about Morrigan,” Meiriana said. “But I am positive that magic doesn’t work like that.”

“You’re not secretly a mage are you?” Ella asked, not meaning anything by it.

“No, but my… best friend, Merrill was First to the Keeper, and magic. My father was Keeper of his clan, and also magic,” Meiriana said. “The Dalish care a lot about magic. It was a gift from the creators.”

“Not a mage, but the child of one,” Morrigan mused slowing down a bit so Meiriana and Ella could catch up to her.

“Right,” Meiriana said.

“Was your mother a mage as well?” Morrigan asked.

“I don’t know,” Meiriana replied. “No one ever mentions it if she was.”

“’Tis a small wonder why you yourself aren’t a mage,” Morrigan said.

“I just am not a mage,” Meiriana replied. “Is that really so hard to believe?”

“Did you know I was there?” Morrigan asked.

“Back there? Sort of. I felt like something was there, but I wasn’t sure if it was just a lingering feeling from the darkspawn since the Wilds are full of them,” Meiriana replied.

“You knew something was there and didn’t say anything?” Ella asked.

“Yeah?” Meiriana replied. “I thought it was just leftover misease from the darkspawn. I don’t have this whole taint thing figured out yet. I still have a headache and my throat is starting to hurt again.”

“Impressive that the taint hasn’t killed you,” Morrigan said.

“Yeah that’s what Alistair said too,” Meiriana replied. “I won’t be okay until I’m a Grey-Warden.”

Morrigan nodded as they walked up to a small wooden house. An old woman was standing in front of it.

“Mother, I’ve brought five Grey-Wardens who wish—“

“I see them girl,” the woman replied. “Hmm… much as I expected.”

“Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?” Alistair said.

“You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut one’s eyes tight or open one’s arms wide… either way, one’s a fool.”

“ _An'daran Atish'an, Asha'belannar_ ,” Meiriana said.

“ _Mar enaste lan em lath'in'iseth_ ,” the woman replied almost automatically, as though she’d been addressed by that greeting before. “Oh, here we have one of the people,” she continued. “You’re far from your clan and in the company of humans, no less.”

“One of the people. That’s rather weird to hear you say,” Meiriana said.

“Why?” the woman questioned, amused.

“Well… I’ve never heard someone call the Dalish ‘the people’ before. Beyond that, you’re human… mostly,” Meiriana replied. “I am a Grey-Warden… or I will be. In the company of other Grey-Wardens. Though I am far from my clan, I am not alone.”

“Who is your Keeper?”

“Marethari. This is not why we are here,” Meiriana replied.

The woman chuckled. “That is true enough.”

“Wait, I remember that. What you called her,” Ella said. “You said that’s what the Dalish call Flemeth.”

“No, Duncan’s the one who said they meant Flemeth,” Meiriana said.

“The Flemeth? The Witch of the Wilds,” Alistair said.

“Told you she’s a Witch of the Wilds,” Daveth said.

“Quiet. If she’s really a witch do you want to make her mad,” Ser Jory said.

“Now there’s a smart lad. Sadly irrelevant to the larger scheme of things, but it is not I who decides. Believe what you will,” Flemeth said with a chuckle. “What about you,” she asked of Meiriana. “Does being one of the people give you a different perspective? What do you believe?”

“I don’t know what to believe. You don’t deny that you are Asha’belannar. But no one ever told me why that is, or rather you are, important,” Meiriana said.

“And you?” she asked Ella.

“I don’t know what to believe either,” Ella said.

“That statement possesses more wisdom than it implies,” Flemeth said. “Be always aware… or is it oblivious. I can never remember.” She looked between Meiriana and Ella. “So much about both of you is uncertain…. And yet, I believe.” She turned her head slightly. “Do I believe?” then after a second she turned back and said, “Why yes, it seems I do.”

Meiriana watched this carefully. _She’s talking to someone? Herself? No… I feel… there is someone else here, or there… in her? She’s not a single person. She is more. That’s so weird._

“So this is the dreaded Witch of the Wilds?” Alistair said.

“Witch of the Wilds? Morrigan loves those tales, though she would never admit it.”

Morrigan sighed and rubbed her temples as Flemeth talked.

“Oh how she dances under the moon,” Flemeth laughed.

“They did not come to hear your wild tales mother,” Morrigan said.

“No, that’s right. They came for their treaties,” Flemeth said as she turned around and walked over to the small house and retrieved the treaties from a box. “And before you start barking,” she said as she walked back with them. “Your precious seal wore off long ago, I have protected these.”

“You—oh you protected them?” Alistair said. Meiriana noted that he seemed to visibly relax at that moment, like he’d finally decided that Morrigan and Flemeth didn’t mean them any harm.

“Take these to your Grey-Wardens and tell them this blight’s threat is greater than they realize,” Flemeth said, handing the treaties to Ella who put them in Meiriana’s bag.

“What do you mean the threat is greater than they realize?” Ella asked.

“That the threat is greater. Or that they realize less. Maybe the threat is nothing. Maybe they realize nothing.”

“ _Nuvas ema Ir’enastela._ I am grateful to you for returning them,” Meiriana said.

“Such manners,” Flemeth said smiling. “Always in the last place you look. Like stockings.” She laughed for a second. “Oh don’t mind me. You have what you came for.”

Morrigan nodded. “Time for you to go then.”

“Don’t be ridiculous girl,” Flemeth said. “These are your guests.”

Morrigan said. “Oh all right, I’ll show you out of the wilds.”


	6. Like Memories Into Dust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am incredibly sorry for the long wait between this one and the last one, I thought the last one had been posted much more recently. That isn't really much of an excuse but now I have some chapters and I am hppy to start posting again.

True to her word, Morrigan led the group out of the wilds and back to the gate at Ostagar. As they approached the gate Meiriana turned to thank Morrigan, who had stopped farther back, but she was gone. Vanished like memories into dust.

"Meiriana, are you okay?" Ella asked coming back to retrieve the small elf who would otherwise get locked out.

Meiriana looked up at her. For a second she wondered if the look on her face was worry, concern, or fear. Then she wondered what the difference between concern and worry even was. "I just hoped to thank Morrigan, but she's gone."

Ella looked to where Morrigan had been and sighed. "I'm sure she knows."

Meiriana nodded. "I still would have liked to tell her." She looked into the wilds for a momen,t then turned around and walked back into Ostagar with Ella.

"I was worried for a moment that you two might have gotten lost. Are those flowers?" Alistair said as they rejoined the group.

"Yeah. I figured we might fight the darkspawn but that's no reason to smell like them too," Meiriana said pulling one of the flowers out of her herb pouch and offering it to him.

Alistair took the flower then said, “I’m not sure if you’re serious or not, but it is a nice flower.” He smiled slightly despite his confusion. “If you have anything to do I suggest you get it done now. No doubt Duncan’s already prepared everything for the joining and will want to begin it right away.”

Meiriana nodded and started to walk with them to Duncan’s tent, halfway there Ella stopped her.

“Wasn’t one of those flowers for the sick Mabari?” Ella asked.

Meiriana smiled and nodded. “I want to help the Mabari.”

“We’ll be right back, Alistair,” Ella said with a polite nod.

“Of course,” Alistair replied. “We’ll be at Duncan’s tent, waiting on you.”

Meiriana got another flower out of her herb pouch and smiled at Ella. “Do you think it’ll really help?” she asked as they walked to the kennel together.

“The kennel master thinks it will. Personally, I hope it does. Mabaris are strong, proud dogs. They’re amazing and pull through things that a lot of other creatures can’t. The Mabari will get through this. I have faith in that.”

“I’m gonna name him Fluffy,” Meiriana said when it sounded like Ella was done. “He shall be my Fluffy.”

“Your Fluffy,” Ella mused. “But he's a war dog, and not very fluffy at all.”

“My Fluffy,” Meiriana replied firmly.

Ella smiled very slightly. "Right, well first we have to make sure he's going to be okay. So we need to give the man the flower.”

Meiriana smiled slightly. “Yes. That's true.”

They walked together up to the kennel master.

“Oh good, you're back. Did you get the flower?” he asked.

Meiriana nodded and handed the flower over to him. “Will it help?”

The kennel master took the flower gratefully. “It will help enormously. It’ll take a bit for him to feel better, but come back after the battle and we’ll see about getting him to imprint on you. If that’s something he wants. If you’ll excuse me, I must prepare the flower for him.”

Meiriana and Ella nodded, then started to walk back to Duncan’s tent.

“What’s imprinting?” Meiriana asked.

“It’s basically where a Mabari finds a person and decides ‘this is my person’,” Ella said.

Meiriana nodded and looked down at the ground as they walked back to Duncan’s tent. _What if he decides I’m his person? I don’t know how to take care of a dog._

“About time you two showed up,” Kallian sneered. “Did you get lost or something?”

Meiriana glared for a moment then stood in silence beside Ella as Duncan told them something she wasn’t actually paying attention to. _What if the dog doesn’t like me? What then? I don’t know anyone who ever had a Mabari before. Wait! Ella has a Mabari._ As she finished that thought, she noticed something touching her leg and almost jumped until she realized it was the Mabari in question, Maric. Absentmindedly she reached down and scratched his head for a while before noticing that Alistair and Duncan had walked off leaving the recruits alone.

“Ella,” she said quietly. “What happens next? I got distracted.”

“Now we go meet Duncan where we found Alistair and we complete the Joining,” Ella said looking down at Meiriana who was still petting Maric.

“Does Maric get to Join too?” Meiriana asked.

“I don’t think so,” Ella said. “I think he’ll be fine without one. He’s very strong. Isn’t that right boy?”

Maric barked happily. He stood up and walked over to be in front to Ella. He barked happily again and jumped around excitedly.

Ella knelt down and scratched Maric’s head. “Who’s my good boy?”

Maric tilted his head slightly. Then barked quizzically like _“it’s me right?”_

Ella smiled. “It’s you. You’re my good boy!”

Maric barked excitedly and jumped around. Meiriana smiled and giggled a little while watching this.

Kallian made a disgusted noise and walked off toward where the Joining would actually take place.

“What’s her problem?” Daveth asked.

“Maybe she’s allergic to fun?” Jory suggested.

“Someone died,” Meiriana said. “Someone she liked. And someone else got hurt.”

Maric stopped jumping and whined sadly. Someone he liked a lot had died too and it wasn’t fair. He licked Ella’s hand and nuzzled against it.

“How do you know that Meiriana?” Ella asked.

“I… have no idea,” Meiriana replied. “Just a feeling.”

“A feeling?” Ella asked looking down at Maric for a moment and hugging him gently. It was unclear who she was trying to comfort with that gesture, him or herself.

“A feeling,” Meiriana repeated. She didn’t know how to explain it and wasn’t even sure if it was true. Still, it didn’t change the fact that Kallian was being a rude to her and Ella and everyone. It seemed wrong to let her keep doing that but she had no experience with calming the anger of anyone except Tamlen.

In all honesty, Kallian had every right to hate the humans here, being a city elf and all. The humans’ hatred of her was to be expected, it wasn’t like it came from absolutely nowhere, the only one in Ostagar they should have hated more was Meiriana herself, truth be told. The Dalish weren’t exactly known for being friendly to humans. Meiriana was more an exception than the actual rule of what Dalish were like.

Daveth and Jory stood there in silence for a moment before shrugging and heading off to where the ritual would take place.

Meiriana held out her hand for Ella. “We should go too.”

Ella hugged Maric one last time. “Wait here boy,” she told him quietly.

In reply he barked defiantly and shook his head, as if to say there was absolutely no way he was going to let Ella leave him there alone.

“He can come with us,” Meiriana said. “Just tell him to not bite Kallian.”

Ella nodded and stood up. “You heard her, Maric. Don’t bite Kallian. Even though she’s mean.”

Maric whined slightly then barked in agreement. He wouldn’t bite the mean elf, then, even if she probably deserved it. It wasn’t his place to argue this with his human when he was trying so hard to convince her than it was okay to bring him with her.

They walked to where the others were waiting, Meiriana tossing a curious glance at the mages as she passed by them. _Not a mage, but the child of a mage._ She shook her head slightly to get the thought out it as she stopped at the top of the stairs where the others were waiting. That thought was the last thing she needed to be focusing on, right now. The Joining was the more pressing issue.

She stood quietly as the others conversed, not even listening to what they were saying until Kallian said her name.

“Meiriana is braver than you shems. Pathetic. Look at her, she isn’t worried at all,” Kallian said.

Meiriana tiled her head slightly, of course she wasn’t worried. Whatever the Joining was, it was her only chance to survive. She entertained the thought of actually saying something for a moment before Duncan turned around.

“What even is this ritual?” Daveth asked.

Meiriana tilted her head slightly, that was an interesting question, one she couldn't blame them for asking. It was probably important to them to know what exactly they were about to get themselves into. Though it seemed to her like it was a little late to try and get out of it. _Can you even get out of being a Grey-Warden once conscripted?_

“The Joining is the ritual that gives Grey-Wardens our abilities,” Duncan said. “It is what we must all go through in order to accept the burden of being a Warden.”

“But what do we do?” Daveth asked.

“Just as the first Wardens did, just as I did, and all Wardens did before me, you must partake of darkspawn blood. It is not an easy task to become a Grey-Warden, not everyone survives the ritual and those that do are forever changed by the taint,” Duncan said. “We speak only a few words before the Joining but these words have been spoken since the first. Alistair, if you would?”

Alistair nodded. “Join us, brother and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice shall not be forgotten... and that one day, we shall join you.”

With that he nodded again and Duncan picked up the chalice from the table behind him. Before he could say which warden-recruit should step forward and go first, Meiriana volunteered, not through words but by taking that step.

“She really is braver than you shems,” Kallian said.

Meiriana said nothing, just silently took the chalice as Duncan offered it. After a second she lifted the chalice to her lips and drank down the foul smelling metallic tasting liquid. At first she felt nothing, she handed Duncan back the chalice then stepped slightly back as he welcomed her to the order.

The moment she closed her eyes she felt it all. It burned like setting your own blood on fire. Well that's what she assumed it felt like, she'd never actually done that before.

—

_“Meiriana,” a voice called to her. She barely recognized it. Strange how it felt more familiar than it sounded. Who would be calling to her?_

_“Meiriana!” the voice called with more urgency._

_Who would want her so badly?_

_She pushed herself up off the ground and looked around. When did I end up on the ground? How did I end up on the ground? Where am I? It's so dark. Am I dead? Is this the Beyond?_

_There wasn't much that she could see as she looked around. It was incredibly dark, she couldn't feel anything. Why can't I feel anything?_

_“Meiriana!” It was closer now. Was it? Could she really even tell?_

_“Meiriana, lethallin, what's happening? Where am I? Where are you?”_

_Tamlen!! He's alive? Or am I dead? “Tamlen?” she asked quietly unsure._

_“I'm confused, scared, I don't know what's happening to me. There's darkspawn everywhere, they're acting strange. They've stopped trying to attack me. Meiriana you need to leave. Run. They do bad things to women. I've seen it. Run. Run! Don't let them catch you. I'm sorry.”_

_Run? She considered it carefully. She couldn't just abandon Tamlen twice. “I'm not leaving without you!”_

_“The song. I hear it everywhere. Run! You have to. You can't help me. We're too far. I've gone where you cannot, ma vhenan, please don't try to follow.”_

_She wasn't sure when she started running or where she was running to. The ground beneath her was stone and rocks that caused her feet to ache. After an indeterminate amount of time running she heard something ahead. A terrible screeching roar and she stopped herself quickly. What in the void is that?_

_She closed her eyes to steel herself but when she opened them it was all gone._

_—_

“Welcome back, Warden,” Alistair said.

Meiriana tilted her head slightly. “Warden?”

“One of three,” Duncan said. “Jory and Daveth did not survive the Joining.”

Meiriana nodded slightly. “Ella, Kallian and I? We're Wardens now?”

“Yes,” Duncan said. “How are you feeling?”

“Did you have dreams? I had terrible dreams after my Joining,” Alistair said.

Meiriana stood up carefully. _When did I fall down?_ _Did I have dreams? I'm not sure what that was. It felt strange._ “I'm okay. What about the others?”

“They should wake up soon. There is one last part of the Joining,” Duncan said.

“We take some of that blood and put it in a vial,” Alistair said, handing her a small vial on a leather cord. “To remember the ones that didn't make it this far.”

Meiriana nodded slightly and took the vial and put it around her neck. As Duncan and Alistair prepared the vials for Ella and Kallian, she looked around, there was no sign of anything being any different now than before the Joining. _Perhaps it was just a dream, but what then was that thing that screeched? I've never heard anything quite like that before._ She saw Ella and Kallian asleep to the side but there was no sign of Ser. Jory or Daveth’s bodies anywhere. Perhaps Duncan and Alistair had already taken care of that.

Maric walked over and sat down at Meiriana's feet. He whined gently. Meiriana sat down and petted his head gently. There wasn't much else she could do at the moment, she considered exploring the camp a little more, but was unsure if she was allowed to leave like that. Maric nuzzled against Meiriana's hand.

After a moment Alistair walked over and knelt down by Meiriana's side. “So we're going to be working together for a long time.”

Meiriana nodded but didn't say anything.

“Is it alright if I ask you something?” Alistair asked.

Meiriana shrugged. He was probably going to ask it eventually either way.

“How old are you?” he asked.

She thought about that, it was... a month currently, for sure. _How long ago was my birthday? How many months had passed? Not enough for another year certainly._ “I'm twenty-three,” she replied.

Alistair looked a little shocked. “Really? That makes you older than me, believe it or not.”

Meiriana shrugged, she didn't really care how old he was, or that she was the older one, unless it meant he wouldn't call her a child.

“You don't talk much, do you?” he asked.

She shook her head. _This might become a problem,_ she thought, _humans seem to be really talkative and seem unused to others not being talkative too. Well, he'll just have to get used to it._

Alistair nodded then sighed slightly and started to stand up but paused for a moment. “This is probably a bad question but how do you feel about humans?”

Meiriana sighed. She didn't want to have this conversation with someone she just met. “I barely know you, but I don't want to kill you, yet. Leave it at that for now.” She decided to leave out the part where she wasn't sure that he was completely human.

He nodded. “That's about all I can really hope for, all things considered. Thanks for not wanting to kill me, I just hope I don't do anything in the future to make you reconsider that.” He stood up then and walked over to check on Ella and Kallian.

Meiriana watched him for a moment then turned to Maric and considered him. The poor Mabari was probably hungry, but dogs aren't like halla. They don't eat apples. Do they? “Are you hungry?” she asked him.

He whined a little and nudged her, surely she was all also hungry.

“What do Mabari eat?” she asked him.

He barked conversationally but couldn't actually tell her. He ate lots of things.

“Do you eat meat?” She asked him, it seemed like a good guess. Dogs have sharp teeth after all.

He barked affirmatively.

She nodded, but then sighed. “I don't know where to find meat in the camp, boy. I can't leave to hunt any either. I've never been in a place with so few squirrels. Do you eat squirrels?” she asked then added, “Actually I've seen very few animals at all. The darkspawn probably scared them off.” _Animals are smarter than people in that regard_.

Maric tilted his head as though he'd never considered squirrels to be a type of meat. He barked quizzically, as though wondering what animals she expected to see around here.

“Squirrels are a good type of meat. Fairly easy to cook,” Meiriana said. “I feel like there's normally deer, rabbit, wolves, and bears in the Wilds too. We found wolves earlier, but I didn't get to bring any of the kills back. Shame, but I bet humans aren't used to eating wolf meat.”

Maric barked conversationally. Then tilted his head when he heard other dogs barking. Maybe those dogs knew where the food was. He barked and stood up. He looked at the humans around them none of them seemed to be paying attention to him and his human was asleep, so he decided that his human’s elf friend would be good enough.

Meiriana stood up and stretched. She walked over to Duncan and Alistair. “Is there anything in particular I should be doing right now?”

Duncan turned and looked at her for a moment. “No, but perhaps it would be wise of you to get something to eat. I'd also suggest seeing if the kennel master has anything you can give to Maric.”

Meiriana nodded. “Where would I find food? Normally I'd hunt something but with the Wilds full of darkspawn it seems unwise.”

“It would be unwise,” Duncan said. “One of the chantry sisters can probably help you with that.”

Meiriana nodded and bowed slightly. She turned, walking back down toward the kennels with Maric at her heels.


	7. Tower of Chaos

Meiriana was feeding chunks of meat to Maric when she noticed Kallian moving. “Welcome back from the dead, Warden Tabris,” she said quietly.

“Of course you lived,” Kallian grumbled, staring to sit up. “Your pet shem lived too, I think.”

Meiriana decided not to dignify the ‘pet shem’ comment with a response, but something about Kallian was bothering her, more than just the general anger. “Who died?” Meiriana asked.

Kallian blinked. “Death that common a theme among us Wardens? My fiancé. It's a long story. What about you? Who was that guy they kept talking about? Who was the funeral for?”

“Fiancé is the man you were supposed to marry, right? I suppose that's good a word for Tamlen as any,” Meiriana said.

“So we both lost someone who we cared for,” Kallian said quietly. She glanced down at the ring on her finger. “The difference being shems killed mine, while darkspawn killed yours.”

Meiriana nodded slightly then sighed but didn't actually voice her thought that she wasn't entirely sure that Tamlen was dead. Sure that if she voiced that, they'd just claim she was in denial about it.

“I don't know about you,” Kallian said standing up and stretching, “but considering that I've already killed the shems responsible for... the things that happened. I've nothing left to lose and everything to gain. These darkspawn fuckers had best be afraid because I'm going to be the best Grey-Warden this nation has ever seen. The blight had better watch out because it has nothing on Kallian Tabris!”

Meiriana nodded slightly, unsure how to respond to that. There was something different about Kallian now, something less scary if that was the right word. “Kallian, how old are you?”

“I just turned eighteen last month, why?” Kallian replied.

“How many people have you killed?” Meiriana asked.

“Somewhere between too few and not enough,” Kallian said. “They deserved to die. More deserve to die. I am not sorry for what I've done. What I've done is nothing compared to what the ones I've killed did first.”

Meiriana bit her lip but didn't say anything, she supposed that it didn't matter now. There was nothing that could be done to change it and she had no idea how to begin explaining why she felt like there was always some other way to handle it. Solving your problems with murder never led to anything good, probably.

“How many have you killed?” Kallian asked.

Meiriana took a deep breath. “I've never killed anyone.”

“But you're a hunter, and Dalish,” Kallian said as though those things implied murder.

Meiriana shook her head. “I hunt animals, food. Not people.”

Kallian glared slightly, as though she thought Meiriana was lying.

Meiriana didn't say anything, she didn't need to justify herself when she was telling the truth. Or at least she was pretty sure she was telling the truth, she could barely remember her nineteenth birthday and had no idea of she had killed any of those bandits herself or if the wolves had killed all of them. She smiled at Maric who just seemed confused that she'd ran out of food to feed him.

Kallian placed around for a little while.

Meiriana would have watched her but she didn't want to get dizzy and found herself mostly just casting glances at Ella to see when she was going to awaken. She considered it a good thing that despite Kallian likely thinking she was lying about not having killed anyone before, they weren't currently arguing over anything. The last thing Meiriana wanted was to argue with anyone here, especially the one who just admitted to having no qualms with murder.

She didn't notice when Kallian left until she looked to see what she was doing and she was gone. She sighed and turned to Maric, scratching him gently while he sat there happily waiting to see what was going to happen next.

“I'm surprised, honestly,” Alistair said from where he was sitting at a nearby fire. “She went from wanting to kill you, to seemingly being upset that you're not taking to her. Are you sure you're not a mage?”

“Maybe she's tired of being angry?” Meiriana suggested, before going back to not saying anything.  _ I really don't like everyone expecting me to talk. Perhaps Kallian just realized that she's stuck with me whether she likes it or not. Or maybe it's common ground we both lost the people we love. _

It wasn't long before Ella stirred. “Never doing that again, worst fucking dream ever.”

“Lucky for you, you only Join once. Though I probably should have mentioned the nightmares sooner,” Alistair said, “You're definitely going to have more.”

Ella groaned slightly and sat up. Maric barked happily running over to her. She petted him and nuzzled against him for a bit.

Meiriana smiled as she watched this though she wasn't quite sure why. After a moment she turned away and pulled a small handful of berries out of Tamlen's pouch on her belt. She sniffed each one before eating it, both the scent and ritual of it very familiar to her and serving to ground her in a way, reminding her that all of this was very real.  _ Berries don't have a smell in dreams _ , she reminded herself,  _ just the memory of a smell. _

“How long were we asleep?” Ella asked moving to sit by the fire herself. It wasn't dark yet, or was it light again?

“Several hours, did none of you sleep before getting here?” Alistair replied.

“Not much time to sleep when you're fleeing for your life,” Ella said.

“Right, forgot about the whole takeover thing. What happened to your sisters? Are they...?” he trailed off then.

Ella looked down for a moment, her eyes slightly darker. “I don't know.”

“I'm sorry,” he said. “Anything I can do to help?”

“I'm okay,” Ella lied as Maric whined.

Meiriana frowned slightly but didn't say anything, she knew it wasn't her place. Still she thought she should at some point let Ella know that given one Raven she could find her sisters if they weren't currently dead. It was a skill she'd developed to find other clans when they’d need them for something, it was useful for finding lost hunters or children.

She stood up ready to go whisper that to Ella but before she even moved Duncan came back followed by kallian who was eating some bread.

“It's good to see you all awake,” Duncan said. “The King has requested you join us at the tactics meeting to discuss the upcoming battle.”

“When?” Alistair asked.

“Right now.” He turned. “The meeting is right down the stairs here, please join us soon.”

“Okay then,” Alistair said standing up. “We should probably do that.”

“You're just full of absolutely brilliant ideas and observations you know that?” Kallian replied.

_ Absolutely brilliant ideas _ . Kallian had said, Alistair didn't seem to care that she'd just insulted him. Or maybe he did and was just ignoring her as he walked past Meiriana down toward the meeting at the bottom of the steps.  

"Are you coming Meiriana?" Ella asked as she followed him. 

She shrugged.  _ Do I have a choice _ ? she thought as she followed with Kallian close behind her.

They all walked down the steps to the meeting, which was taking place at a table that had been set up. Cailan was standing behind the table with Duncan to his right and some scary looking man to his left. 

"Good of you to join us," Duncan said. 

"I hear congratulations are in order," Cailan said with a smile. "It's not easy to become a Grey-Warden."

Meiriana gave what she hoped was a respectful nod. 

For a moment they talked about the specifics of the battle plan but Meiriana want listening. She was watching. Watching the man to Cailan's left. Something about him disturbed her.

She glanced at Alistair once or twice trying to see what he was thinking, but he's seemed super focused on the actual talking so that was less than helpful though she did notice that there were similarities between him and Cailan, though she didn't think it would be wise to point them out because what if she was wrong and it made them think she thought all humans looked through same? 

"I think we should send a couple of the Grey-Wardens to the tower with your men Loghain to assure that the signal gets lit on time," Cailan said as Meiriana finally forced herself to focus on the meeting. 

"I don't see why we need these grey-wardens to help with that," Loghain replied. "Wouldn't they be better suited on the battlefield actually fighting the darkspawn? That is their duty after all.”

"I agree," Alistair said. "We belong on the battlefield, not standing watch in some tower out of harm's way. Our duty is to kill darkspawn."

"I'll go," Meiriana said not wanting to actually fight anything yet. "Lighting fires is something I'm fairly good at."

"Alistair I want you to join her," Duncan said. "Alistair you'll know what signal to look for when it is time to light the beacon, Meiriana would not.” 

"I will go with them," Ella said. "If that is alright. I don't claim to be an expert on health, but Meiriana is still a little pale and does still have an injury on her arm. Should something go wrong it would be best that there be more than one Warden capable of fighting there."

"Sounds like a smart plan," Cailan said, "I'd expect nothing less from a Cousland."

Kallian considered this for a moment then grinned. "I'll show those darkspawn what happens when you mess with a Tabris!"

Cailan chuckled while Loghain groaned. "I like this one's enthusiasm, Duncan. She'll be a fine Warden someday."

"Are we agreed then?" Duncan asked. 

"Agreed," Cailan said ignoring Loghain's obvious displeasure at the situation. He explained the plan one more time then they were all dismissed to prepare. 

Meiriana stood back for a moment as Kallian, Duncan, Cailan and Loghain all left. When they were gone she said, "What's wrong with Loghain? He's so scary looking, and looking at him gave me a really bad feeling that he isn't what he looks like."

"Loghain was a friend of Cailan's father Maric, the previous King. He helped Maric free Ferelden from Orlais," Ella said like a child reciting a history lesson.

"He doesn't seem to actually like Cailan much," Meiriana noted.  “Wait, I thought Maric was your dog.”

Alistair sighed slightly. "No, he really doesn't."

“I named him after King Maric,” Ella said.

"The tower thingy," Meiriana said deciding to change the subject since it seemed like this one was upsetting Alistair. "That would be the big one across the bridge right?"

"Yes, the Tower of Ishal," Alistair said. "It like the rest of these ruins were built by Tevinter along time ago."

Meiriana nodded. "It's a bit scary looking, but I guess that's just what Tevinter does best. Scary looking things." She shivered slightly remembering that Duncan had said the mirror-Eluvian-that had tainted her and-likely-killed Tamlen was of Tevinter origins. 

Something about that bothered her, if Tevinter made it why was it in a ruin full of ancient elven artifacts and watched by an ancient elven statue of one of the creators? She thought about that for only a moment before deciding it was likely that Tevinter, at least ancient Tevinter, had stolen the artifacts and put them there as maybe a storage location or show of power/wealth. 

Maric barked slightly to get their attention from the top of the stairs. If they were going to do what Duncan requested of them then they needed their weapons. That was a fact. 

Ella smiled at him. "Okay, boy we're coming. Don't worry."

They headed back up the steps to the makeshift camp that Alistair had set up while they were all sleeping after the Joining. Ella and Alistair grabbed up their swords and smiled slightly. 

"Show me what you're made of Cousland. I heard you trained with your father's knights," Alistair said with a hint of playfulness on his voice as though he thought that letting her fight him would put her into a better mood.

"You really think you can take me with your Templar training?" Ella asked. That sounded to Meiriana like it was a challenge. 

"What's a Templar?" she asked as she grabbed up her bow and then frowned. "Ella I need my bag back, I can't oil my bow without it."

"Oh, right," Ella said quickly slipping the bag off her shoulders for Meiriana. "Sorry, My Lady." She walked over and handed her the bag.

Meiriana smiled slightly as she took the bag back from Ella. 

Ella nodded slightly and then headed back to grab up her shield and spar with Alistair. 

"You don't know what a Templar is Meiriana?" Alistair asked as he stretched as little then grabbed his own shield. 

"Why would I? The Dalish don't have them," she replied as she searched the pockets of her bag for the oil for her bow and a small rag. She was sure that she had some in it, the clan wouldn't send her away with no way to take care of her bow, especially since it was given to her special by Ilen. 

"Templars are... an arm of the Chantry," Alistair said. "They search out apostates and bring them to the Circles where they can train under the watchful eyes of the Chantry and where they can be protected from a distrustful public. And also where the public can easily be protected from them."

"Apostates?" Meiriana asked. 

"Mages living outside of Chantry law," Alistair replied. He swung his sword around for a moment stretching his wrist slightly. "Alright, Cousland bring it on."

Ella smirked a little. She took up a fighting stance then grinned like she was daring him to come at her. 

Their swords clashed, ringing loudly, but Meiriana wasn't actually watching them fight. She'd seen the Dalish warriors spar often enough for it not to be interesting anymore. Instead she was still searching for the oil of her bow. 

Maric whined and put his nose against a pouch on her belt. Meiriana titled her head and reached into that pouch, pulling out the small jar of oil. "Thanks boy," she said laying her bow on her lap and scratching his head. 

She found a cloth inside that pouch too and put a little of the oil on the cloth. She ran the cloth up and down the length of her bow, the familiar act requiring very little actual attention from her. Giving her a moment to think about everything she'd experienced in the past few days. 

_ Tamlen dead _ . This was the thought that gave her the most pause. _ Why didn't we find his body? Why did Duncan say we wouldn't want to find his body? What do darkspawn do with people they kill? That soldier in the Wilds said the darkspawn dragged the dead underground. But why?  Why would the darkspawn do that? _

"I yield!" Alistair yelped.

Meiriana looked up when she heard Alistair yelp. She chuckled when she saw that Ella had Alistair pinned on the ground with the top of her sword pointed at his throat. 

"You yield?" Ella asked.

"I yield," he confirmed.

Ella let him up then. "Want another round?" she asked looking over her sword to determine if it needed any maintenance that she could not do on her own. 

"I've gotten my ass handed to me twice in two days by women.  _ She _ could probably kick my ass," Alistair said pointing at Meiriana.

Meiriana frowned at the accusation that she wasn't a good fighter and in one fluid motion pulled an arrow from the quiver beside her notched it on the string of her bow and shot it into Alistair's shield. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

Alistair and Ella looked at her as though they hadn't realized she was listening.

"Sorry," Alistair said. 

Meiriana glared slightly, but nodded. "Try not to break that arrow when you remove it from your shield. I only have so many, and no time to make more."

Maric whined from beside Meiriana looking up at the sky. Meiriana looked at him sympathetically, then looked at what he was looking at.  The sky was grey, it had been grey and overcast for months, at least Meiriana thought it had been months.  But on the horizon, differently grey and black clouds were gathering. There was a storm coming. She was sure of it. 

"There's a storm coming," she said flatly. "Just in time for the battle. Not ominous at all."

"Just what we need, a little rain, maybe some thunder. Give the Blight the scary atmosphere it deserves," Alistair joked as he tried to dislodge the arrow from his shield without breaking it. 

Meiriana shrugged and put the bow down beside the quiver then walked over to help him remove the arrow from his shield. After she got it out, she checked it over for cracks in the shaft and loose sinew, satisfied that it was still usable she smiled. "I probably could kick your ass," she said to him. "But it wouldn't be a fair fight. You'd never see me coming.”

"Because you're short?" Alistair asked jokingly.

Meiriana glared at him again then focused on not being visible to him. Stealth was easily her favorite part of her rogue training. _ If they can't see you, they can't kill you _ .

"Shit," she heard Alistair say. "I forgot about the stealth thing."

She smirked from her stealth spot and started to move toward him, until was knocked on the ground and out of stealth by Maric.

"Good job, boy," Ella said as Maric barked happily and jumped around beside Meiriana.

"Well no one is going to sneak up on you, Cousland," Alistair said. "Are you okay, Meiriana?" 

Meiriana grumbled a little but sat up and scratched Maric's chin. He was only doing what he thought was best after all. She couldn't be mad at him for that. Even though him knocking her down had hurt. 

He whined and licked her hand worriedly.

"It's okay, boy" she told him. "You didn't hurt me."

He tilted his head then barked and walked over to Ella and sat by her feet obediently. 

"Is he coming to the tower with us?" Meiriana asked as she stood up and walked back over to her bow and quiver, returning the arrow to the quiver when she got there. 

The wind began picking up slightly as Ella replied that of course he was. Meiriana played around with her bag and daggers until she managed to get both to play nicely together, then fixed her quiver into place and grabbed up her bow. Ready or not for whatever might come, she wasn't going to back down easily. 

She would not back down. She walked over to Ella and Alistair. "The battle is soon, yes? Are we ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Alistair replied.

"When this is over," Ella said, "remind me to teach you some commands to help you with that mabari if it imprints on you."

Meiriana nodded. "Right. How long until the battle?" She hoped it wouldn't be too long, she had a lot questions that seemed like an awful lot of Grey-Warden things and she needed answers.

"Half an hour give or take, most everyone should be prepared by now," Alistair said. "The horde will likely be advancing as soon as the sun starts setting."

"And the army will meet them? While we take the easier job of keeping watch in a tower," Meiriana mused.

"You volunteered for that easy job," Alistair said.

"Cailan wanted Grey-Wardens in the tower. It does not seem wise to disagree with him, no matter how steeped hero worship his ideas might be," Meiriana said. 

"You're more talkative than you were a few hours ago," Alistair said. "Should I be complemented?"

Meiriana shrugged. "Don't get ahead of yourself, I'm only talking to you because I feel like you'd be offended if I didn't. Plus, it might seem irrational, but you both irritate, frighten, and amuse me. I don't like talking. Don't count yourself complemented, count yourself lucky. You're one of like five."

"Is that why you talk to me?" Ella asked before she could stop herself. 

"No. You... it's complicated... I feel safe talking to you," Meiriana said, not looking at her. "You're the first human who treated me like... Like a person, not a thing." She shook her head slightly and kept talking, to prevent any kind of response to that. "We should head to our places don't you think?"

Alistair nodded. 

Drops of rain began falling from the sky, slowly at first as they walked toward the bridge that would lead then to the Tower of Ishal. A low rumble of thunder caused Meiriana to shiver involuntarily and she instinctively gripped her bow just a little bit tighter. 

_ I am not scared of storms. I am not scared of storms. I am not scared of storms _ . She told herself over and over trying to remember when the opposite had become true.

They stood together at one end of the bridge, Meiriana trying to convince herself that she truly wasn't scared of storms as the thunder grew louder the rain heavier and lightning streaked across the sky. Once or twice, Alistair glanced from her to Ella seemingly trying to ask her if they should do something for Meiriana without actually talking.

Maric whined at Ella's feet. Then his ears twitched as sound of the two armies began to reach them, and something slammed into the bridge shaking it to its foundation. 

"We need to move, now," Ella said.

Alistair nodded and started across the bridge with her and Meiriana, who jumped slightly at an exceedingly loud crash of thunder. 

"Maric, stick by Meiriana," Ella said. 

Maric barked in agreement and fell in beside Meiriana. Seeing him there caused her to focus on something other than the storm. She brushed her free hand across his fur briefly then looked up at the others. They were slightly ahead of her.

She took a deep breath.  _ I can do this _ . She braced herself as another something hit the bridge. Ahead Alistair and Ella fell over at the sudden shaking.

Meiriana rushed forward and helped them to stand.  "Do darkspawn have catapults?"

"More likely the ogres are throwing things, or the emissaries are using magic," Alistair said. 

"Darkspawn mages, creepy," Meiriana said as she helped him stand.

"Most mages are creepy," Alistair said. "but darkspawn mages especially."

"Some of my best friends are mages, Alistair," Meiriana said. "We must keep going."

They steadied themselves and kept going, once in the other side of the bridge the sounds of the main battle started to fade but ahead of them... Meiriana heard the sounds of a fight and the unmistakable stench of darkspawn was in the air.

"Darkspawn ahead," Meiriana slightly cursed. 

"There aren't supported too be any this far in front of the horde," Alistair said.

"Tell that to them when you're cutting them into darkspawn chunks," Ella said.

They approached the tower cautiously, a mage and a soldier were trying to fend off darkspawn that were coming from inside the tower.

"What happened?" Alistair asked the soldier as he and Ella charged to help. 

"They came up from the lower levels," the soldier replied.

Meiriana loosed arrows into every darkspawn she saw with the careful precision that came from years of hunting and practice. When there were none close enough to hurt her, she continued forward. Retrieving the arrows that were still usable and any these darkspawn happened to have on them as she went. 

The mage hung back with her. Magic works best at range after all. She worked side by side with the mage despite his confusion at her doing so. As though he had expected her to avoid him for some reason. 

"Watch your step," Meiriana told him. "It's easy to trip over dead things."

He nodded and followed her, stepping around the darkspawn corpses on the ground. 

Battling their way to the tower entrance took longer than it should have, but they made it there in one piece.

"Just how many darkspawn are we going to face inside here?" Alistair asked the soldier as Meiriana gave the mage Dalish advice about how to hold the staff so that his arm would ache less. 

"I'm not sure," the soldier replied. "We are outnumbered, but with grey Wardens such as yourselves, not outmatched. I hope. Maker, I hope we are not too late."

"Let's move," Ella said like a true leader. "The longer we stand here the less likely we are to light the beacon on time." She opened the door and they all headed into the tower.

Meiriana glanced around as she headed inside. The tower reeked of darkspawn and smoke, and a few other smells she tried to ignore. She pulled to the front of the group for a moment, hearing the scuffling of something ahead. Maric was unusually quiet beside her.    
She noticed the tripwire just seconds before Maric would have stepped on it. "Maric wait," she said and immediately Ella chimed in "Maric. Heel."

He obediently stopped right there without taking another step.

Meiriana quickly carefully disabled the tripwire. Darkspawn are smarter than I thought. She nodded at the others and they moved on.

As she stood up an arrow lodged itself in the wood beam beside her head. She dislodged it and immediately sent it back. It hit its mark and the darkspawn shrieked as it dropped it's bow and tried to dislodge the arrow from its eye for only a moment before it fell to a sword.

"Nice shot," Ella called as she found her next target.

The mage nodded to the darkspawn archers in the corner. Meiriana looked to them and noting the cloth under their leather armor said, "fire."

The mage smiled. Two fireballs later the darkspawn were fireballs of their own.

Meiriana exchanged arrows with the darkspawn that had them, though she had much better aim. They moved ever onward and upwards Meiriana stopping occasionally to retrieve her arrows thought by the third floor none were left usable and she cursed slightly.

The mage was left alone with Maric to defend him from any darkspawn that made it past the warriors and yet still past Meiriana guarding the middle with her daggers.

Blood splattered against her armour as she slashed at the darkspawn that thought it could take her down. Again. Again. Till it went down. She twirled the dagger in her hand for a moment before burying it in the neck of another darkspawn.  _ So much blood. _

On the fifth floor, Mabaris were penned up. Meiriana kicked the lever to release them with a command simply of, "Kill the darkspawn."

_ Yet more blood _ . The Mabaris chased down all the darkspawn, clearing the path for the group.

"Good dogs," Ella said to them as she opened the door to the top floor. The dogs rushed up the stairs to take on more darkspawn.

The group followed close behind. There was the furious sound of barking then yelping from one of the dogs. They ran faster. Out onto the last floor then into the final room. 

"What the fuck is that thing," Meiriana gasped as they were greeted by the sight of a huge and terribly ugly horned darkspawn fighting off the Mabaris. 

It turned to them and glared, narrowing it's beady little eyes at them. It roared.

"An ogre," Alistair said. 

Ella, Alistair and the soldier charged at the ogre. Slashing at its legs trying to make it fall to where it's heart would be in range of their swords. 

It hit hard when it did hit. The shields wouldn't last. 

Meiriana looked the mage into the perfect spots to attack the ogre without getting caught by his flailing arms. When she noticed the ogre's swings were slowing down she called out, "keep it up it's tiring."

The ogre swatted at them like they were flies. Ella and Alistair stood their ground refusing to be swatted down like insignificant animals. 

After a little bit longer of this Meiriana smirked while Ella managed to get in a deep enough gash on the ogre's ankle that it fell to its knees in pain. 

"May the dread wolf take you!"

She charged it from one side while Alistair and Ella had its hands busy enough. One fatal leap. Either the ogre would die or she would. She stabbed both her daggers into its heart. Or at least what she assumed was where it's heart would be, if it had one. 

_ A lot of blood _ . 

She twisted the daggers as she pulled one out then stabbed it back in a different spot before repeating that with the other. Twice. The ogre went limp then fell backwards from the weight of its own body. 

"Light the beacon," Alistair said as he checked over the Mabaris and the soldier and mage. "We've no doubt missed the signal."

Ella nodded and went over to light the signal fire, hoping that by some miracle they actually hasn't missed the signal at all.

It was mere moments before they heard the loud sound of dozens of footsteps as more darkspawn rushed up from the lower levels. They were outnumbered.

Meiriana hopped down from the ogre's lifeless body, daggers in hand ready to meet the enemy in battle or in death.

She felt the first arrow tear into her shoulder, another in her leg and she fell to the floor in agony. It was mere moments before the blinding pain caused her to pass out, and everything went black.


	8. In Her Element

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta is on vacation for the week, and being the nerd that I am I forgot that, so that's why the chapter didn't go up yesterday, and why there might be a few grammatical errors.

It was the second time in two weeks that she'd woken up without an actual memory of how she'd gotten to the place she was waking up in, and she considered that an awfully dangerous habit to have. She sat up on the bed and tried to orient herself to the world around her.

"So you do live." 

She recognized the voice and turned to see if she was right. Morrigan was standing by a bookshelf near the door idly flipping through the pages of a book while throwing the occasional glance in her direction.

"Mother and those two friends of yours will be most pleased to hear that," Morrigan said.

Meiriana tilted her head slightly. "Morrigan, right? I didn't get to thank you before for leading us out of the Wilds."

Morrigan blinked and narrowed her eyes for a moment as though she thought there was the possibility that Meiriana's words were anything other than just simple, and polite, honesty. "Well, you're welcome then."

Meiriana smiled very slightly then looked down at herself. She wasn't as all surprised to find herself lacking armor at the moment, this wasn't the first time she had woken to find herself lacking armor and in the care of a healer. "Can I ask you some questions, Morrigan?"

Morrigan sighed and put the book that she was flipping through down and walked over to the bed. "If you wish," she said as she knelt down at the foot of the bed and opened up a chest. "Though I would like to have it known before you even begin that neither I, not my mother, did anything inappropriate to any of you while you were sleeping despite what your dimwitted male companion suggested."

"What? That isn't..." Meiriana tilted her head slightly. "I was just wondering how long I... we?... Had been here and how we got here."

Morrigan stood up from the chest with Meiriana's clothes and bag in her hands. She sat then on the bed beside Meiriana before replying. "You've been here for more or less  three days. The battle is long over, your fellow Grey-Wardens, aside from the dimwit and the woman with her dog, are likely all dead. The army lost, that man Loghain, quit the field. The horde presses further north with each passing day. As for how you got here, Mother took the form of a giant bird and plucked the four of you from a top the burning tower. If you do not believe this tale them perhaps you should ask Mother yourself, who knows she may even tell you."

Meiriana nodded taking it all in as she got dressed. "The four of us? She even rescued Ella's dog?"

"Yes," Morrigan said. 

"Do I have you to thank for the healing or to our mother?" Meiriana asked. 

"Mother did the healing, though I did what I could to help," Morrigan replied.

" _ 'Ma serannas _ ," Meiriana said. "How are the others?"

"Taking the news of the defeat about as well as one would expect," Morrigan replied.

Meiriana nodded with a small sigh. "I should probably be with them."

"Perhaps," Morrigan replied. "They are waiting outside."

Meiriana nodded and headed out of the cabin to go see what the others were up to.

Maric was there first noticed her. Her barked happily and ran over to her. He jumped around at her feet for a moment before running back over to Ella, whose face was a mix of disbelief and relief, and Alistair.

"We can't just stay here," Ella saying as Meiriana walked over. 

"Well what else can we do?" Alistair said. "Without Duncan we don't have a leader, without Cailan Ferelden doesn't have a King. He had no rightful heirs."

"Wouldn't the most acceptable person to take over after the king be a Teyrn?" Ella asked.

"Who exactly?" Alistair said. "In case you hadn't considered this Loghain might be a Teyrn but he's still a commoner, and you're the only Cousland we still have. Grey-Wardens can't hold a title that high."

"What about Ella's brother? Or one of her sisters?" Meiriana asked as she walked over. "Aren't they also Couslands?"

"What do you have some idea where they are?" Ella asked. "Or how to find them, now isn't the time for denial and idle fancy."

"Well when hunters in my clan get lost," Meiriana said, "which happens fairly often when we camp in the Brecilian forest, there's two ways we can find them: by sending out ravens, or by sending out hunters. Since we don't have any hunters, sending out a couple birds wouldn't be a bad idea."

"Birds," Alistair asked. "How would birds find them if the birds have never seen them?"

"Ravens are smart," Meiriana replied. "Isn't it at least worth trying?" 

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea Meiriana," Ella said.

"If someone else has taken over your castle, should you not warn your brother before he tries to return there?" Meiriana asked.

"Well, yes but I don't even know if he's still alive," Ella said sadly. Maric whined. 

"I don't think he was near the battle," Meiriana said. "They had him scouting the Wilds. It wouldn't make sense for a scout to be so near the main battle."

"So Fergus might still be alive? Meiriana you say that like you've directed battles before," Ella said.

"What?" Meiriana tilted her head. "I've never directed a battle before, but I was taught how to run the clan. Keeper Marethari thought that being the daughter of a keeper the clan would respect me as a leader in case something ever happened to her and out First, Merrill. "

"Well she taught you well it would seem," Ella said. "You have a great instinct for leading."

"Right then, what do you think we should do, Meiriana?" Alistair asked. "We can't defeat the Blight without an army."

Meiriana thought about this and absentmindedly reached into her bag for an apple as she did so. "What..." Here hand closed around a scroll tucked into one of the inner pockets. She pulled it out. "I have the treaties? I thought we have them to Duncan?"

"Those treaties, what exactly are their use?" Ella asked.

"The treaties allow the Grey-Wardens to demand aid from elves, dwarves, and the circle of magi in the event of a Blight," Alistair said. "Actually I think I do know someone who can help us. All Eamon of Redcliffe. He wasn't at the battle. He still has his army."

"Eamon and my father were allies," Ella said. "That could be useful."

"Dwarves, mages, elves, this arl Eamon, sounds a lot like an army to me," Flemeth said. 

Meiriana turned and looked she hasn't seen Flemeth standing near by. 

"Do you really think we can do?" Alistair asked, just the three of us, build an army?"

"I do not know whether or not that you can all I know is that you must," Flemeth replied.

"We can do it Alistair," Ella said. 

"If we're going to do it then we need to leave the Wilds," Meiriana said.

"I cannot help much but I will give you what I can," Flemeth said.

"Mother, the stew is on the fire. Will the guests be staying for dinner?" Morrigan asked walking up from somewhere nearby. 

"No, the Grey-Wardens will be leaving," Flemeth said. 

"Oh that's too bad," Morrigan said with mock sadness.

"And you will be joining them, girl," Flemeth finished. 

"Wait what," Morrigan said. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"You want us to take you daughter with us? Nevermind that she doesn't want to, outside the Wilds she is an apostate," Alistair said. 

"I think she should," Meiriana said. "If it's okay for me to say.' 

"Meiriana, I'm not sure you understand what a danger having her with us would pose," Alistair said.

"No more or less danger than having a Dalish with you," Meiriana said firmly. "We need her assistance if she is willing to give it. If we're going to end the Blight we need all the help we can get."

"I agree with Meiriana," Ella said. "Despite the danger an apostate poses we're eventually going to need mage allies anyway. We may as well accept, besides I doubt you want to make Flemeth angry any more than I do."

"Well she is scary," Alistair said.

Meiriana sighed slightly and walked over to Morrigan. "Please come with us."

Flemeth chuckled. "You've been wanting to get out of the Wilds for years, girl, now you have the opportunity: are you going to let it slip out of your hands?" 

"Oh all right, fine mother, I'll go with them if it pleases you," Morrigan said. "Don't forget about the stew, I'd hate to return to a burned down shack."

Flemeth chuckled and then narrowed her eyes slightly. "It's more likely that you'll return to see this whole place, me included, swallowed up by the Blight."

Meiriana narrowed her eyes slightly but didn't say anything as Morrigan replied, "I only meant-"

"I know what you meant girl, do try to be safe," Flemeth replied.

Morrigan and Meiriana walked over to Ella and Alistair.

"So what is the plan," Meiriana asked. "We do have a plan don't we?"

"If I'm allowed to make a suggestion," Morrigan said, "there is a village at the edge of the Wilds that connects with the King's highway, that would likely be the best place to start."

“We will need to stop for supplies,” Ella said reasonably. “If we can hit the King's highway there then that would likely be the best place to start for sure.”

“What harm could come from stopping in a small village with an apostate and a Dalish elf?” Alistair joked. “Sure let's go there.”

Meiriana sighed unable to really tell if Alistair was okay with any of this or if he was just going along with it because Ella was. She scratched Maric’s head absentmindedly then looked up at Morrigan. “Which way?”

“Lothering is just a little over a day's hike to the north,” Morrigan said.

Meiriana nodded and started walking away from Flemeth's hut following the path that headed north. The others hurried to catch up with her. Wandering around the Wilds alone any time seemed like a terrible idea, but doing it during a Blight was about a thousand times worse. She had, in fact, anticipated that they would follow close behind her. She counted on it actually to make them start moving on instead of just talking about moving. 

“Lothering is our best place to start, from there we can figure out where to go next. We should leave now,” she said when the others were with her again. “We'll have to stop at some point along the way to rest, it's wouldn't be wise to go too long without rest. When we do, I can hunt. It's been too long since I've done some actual hunting. It would be nice. Plus I think you'd all enjoy some traditional Dalish food.” 

“Traditional Dalish food?” Ella questioned.

“It's mostly all simple meat based dishes,” Meiriana said. “Without a semi-permanent campsite the best bet would be something small and simple, like squirrel or rabbit.”

“There's plenty of squirrels in the Wilds,” Morrigan said. “And it certainly sounds more appetizing than Chasind food.”

“I'm not sure if I want to know,” Ella said.

“You probably don't,” Morrigan said. 

Alistair was quiet as he walked with them. Meiriana noticed but didn't say anything about it, it was probably just his way of grieving after all, it wasn't her place to point it out. 

The wilds were full of tall pine trees and beautiful flowers, if you knew where to look for them. 

Morrigan tilted her head curiously as Meiriana poked around under several different logs along the path. “Are you searching for spiders?”

Meiriana paled significantly and yanked her hand out from under one of the logs quickly. “That isn't funny, Morrigan,” she squeaked.  _ Actually squeaked _ . 

“I don't know, seems kind of funny to me. What else could you possibly be looking for under those logs?” Morrigan said. 

“Flowers,” Meiriana said. “There are these little purple flowers that grow in the moss underneath decaying logs. They're beautiful. Highly toxic if you eat them, but beautiful nonetheless.”

“Why would you want toxic flowers?” Ella asked. 

“They keep the bugs away,” Meiriana replied. “Mosquitos can't stand the smell or something about them anyway.”

“Seems a bit unsafe to me, what if Maric eats one by accident?” Ella asked. 

“I'm... not sure, I don't think they're harmful to animals, just people. The Halla eat them and I've never seen one get sick from them. Maric is a smart dog. I doubt he would eat a toxic flower by accident,” Meiriana said. “The extract of Andraste's Grace can make you sick if you eat it too, but you're not supposed to eat it. It's just to make things smell nice.”

“You smell like Andraste’s Grace,” Morrigan noted. 

“I have a dozen Andraste's Grace in my herb pouch,” Meiriana said. "Oh, and the scent is magically weaved into my clothes and armor.” 

“Did you do that yourself?” Morrigan mused.

“Not this time,” Meiriana said. “Merrill did this for me because the smell of the flower is calming.”

Meiriana glanced at Alistair who was eyeing her suspiciously, then looked to Ella whose look was only slightly less suspicious. She tilted her head slightly. “What?”

“Not  _ this _ time?” Alistair questioned. 

“Not this time,” Meiriana replied. “I don't know what the problem is? It's not like I'm speaking some other language. Not this time as in I did not do it.”

“This time,” Alistair said. 

Meiriana sighed. “Let's just keep moving. It's better if we do, we need to get as close to Lothering as possible before it gets too dark to do anything and from what I understand we've got a long way to go before we get there.”

Alistair sighed and nodded. As did Ella. 

Meiriana glanced at Morrigan then decided that she had no idea what the problem was but that she'd somehow caused it. She looked down then turned around and kept walking down the path in the direction that she assumed was north. 

_ I don't know what I did but whatever it was was wrong. Very wrong. I think they're upset now? More than they were before at least. I don't get it.  _

She glanced around at the trees and the flowers growing tucked around their roots and in their limbs and wished that the others could see just how pretty this place is and how much they're missing out by being so upset while in it. But it wouldn't do to dwell on that, there wasn't anything she could do to make them happier and indeed the whole thought of  _ making  _ people happier really bothered her on some internal level that she couldn't quite explain. It just felt wrong. 

In between some of the trees there were vines and beyond them there was water and snakes and other things that live in the swamp. Still she didn't see why anyone would think this place was anything less than pretty. Sure it wasn't all flowers and there weren't a lot of colors other than green and brown but it had a beautiful mystifying quality all it's own. 

“Meiriana,” Morrigan said from a lot closer than she'd realized Morrigan was. “You seem upset.”

“And you care...?” Meiriana replied before she could stop herself.  _ She's being kind don't be rude.  _

“I just feel like you're not upset for the same reasons those two laggy warrior friends of yours are,” Morrigan said. 

“What was your life like here in the wilds Morrigan?” Meiriana asked wanting to change the subject. She felt an extreme need for the conversation to be about anything but herself. 

“That bears no resemblance to any kind of an appropriate answer to my question,” Morrigan said. “Still you'll just ask again some other time I suppose. Mostly I spent it training with my mother until I was old enough to assist her in protecting us from Templars. Sometimes I would run away to some of the little villages at the edge of the wilds and pretend like I belonged there. Human customs are incredibly strange. There's so much touching.”

“You don't like to be touched?” Meiriana asked.

“No, I don't see why it is necessary to touch someone when you greet them or for any reason really when it is clear they don't know you and don't want anything to do with you,” Morrigan replied. 

“I'm not sure I follow,” Meiriana said. “There's not as much general touching among the Dalish or at least there wasn't among my clan, I can't speak for others. But if it helps any, I won't touch you if you don't want to be touched.”

They walked silently for a moment. Meiriana could have sworn that, when she looked up at Morrigan to see why she was taking so long to answer, Morrigan was was blushing. 

“Yes well,” Morrigan said shaking her head slightly. “Thank you for that. It's nice to see that  _ someone _ at least respects personal boundaries.”

“Generally, I like to hug people and I like holding hands,” Meiriana said. “But it ruins the mood of it, turns it all negative if the person doesn't want to be touched. I don't want that. If you don't want to be touched it's not my place to decide you should be touched anyway. I know I'd get really upset if someone touched me when I don't want them to.”

Morrigan didn't reply at first and Meiriana thought for a moment she might have said something wrong. 

“It's always good to look at things in terms of ‘would I like it if someone did this thing to me’, yet so few actually do look at it like that,” Morrigan said carefully as though she was worried she might imply that she hadn't thought Meiriana would bother considering that. 

Meiriana nodded then sighed. “I think I upset them,” she said quietly, glancing back at Ella and Alistair. 

“I cannot speak for them, if you're worried you upset them you should talk to them.” Morrigan glanced back at the other two lagging slightly behind them. “But I don't  _ think _ it was you that upset them.”

Meiriana didn't reply. Instead she turned her attention to snapping twigs off the branches of trees they passed by. If she was going to hunt she needed arrows and she had none. It took her a moment to realize she didn't have a bow anymore either. 

“Morrigan, what happened to my bow?” She dropped her hands to her sides to slide the sticks into her belt and realized her daggers weren't there either.  _ Shit. It's been like three hours since we left Flemeth's hut. Well that's bad. I should have noticed this sooner. _

“Mother was unable to recover your weapons,” Morrigan said simply. 

Meiriana nodded and sighed. This wasn't good. It wasn't bad either though, she was sure she could get a new bow somewhere and even if she couldn't she did know how to make her own. It was mostly just disappointing because she was hungry. And because that bow was special.

She glanced up at the sky which was noticeably beginning to darken. Pressing on wouldn't be wise but there wasn't really a good place in this area to set up a temporary camp from what she could see: the path here was too narrow, the trees too close and there was too much water. She sighed. They had no choice but to keep going until they were somewhere with less trees. 

As she started to keep going she spotted a spider hanging in her path. It wasn't even a big spider. She  _ froze.  _

_ No no no no. Make it leave.  _

She stared at the thing with tears in her eyes. It just hung there lazily.  _ Go away.  _ She couldn't even get the words to come out of her mouth. It was nothing more than a squeak. 

Then it was gone. Morrigan scooping it up in her hand and moving it somewhere else. Then she was waiting. 

After a moment with her eyes closed and a few deep breaths, Meiriana shakily thanked Morrigan for that. 

“I had no idea you were so terrified of spiders,” Morrigan replied. “It was wrong of me to joke about spiders to you earlier.”

“It wasn't wrong if you didn't know,” Meiriana said.

Behind her, Ella said, “How the fuck does someone just  _ let _ a spider touch them?”, and Meiriana made a mental note that Ella was  _ also _ scared of spiders. 

“I am not particularly scared of spiders,” Morrigan said. “I've been a spider at some points. Meiriana, it's not okay to joke about things people are terrified of.”

Meiriana heard Ella repeating "What the fuck" behind her quietly like a safety mantra.

“If you don't know they're terrified then why does it matter?” Meiriana asked. It just didn't make sense to her that something could still be wrong even when you didn't know about the thing that made it wrong in the first place, or rather as long as you didn't make the same mistake again she didn't see why it would be wrong the first time.

She frowned slightly. This was getting them nowhere closer to an actual campsite and she was starting to get a little chilly. “We should keep going. We can't camp here the path is barely wide enough for two people to stand side by side much  less have a campsite. Plus we'd risk setting the trees on fire.”

“That is a sensible idea, we should listen to her,” Alistair said.

They pressed on and another 50 or so meters up the path, it opened up to a small clearing about five meters wide. The best part about the clearing was that it was dry, away from the water that lie in great swaths beside the paths through the swamp. They could camp there without worrying about rolling over in the middle of the night and finding themselves in water or mud or face to face with one of the several species of water snakes native to the Wilds. The trees were far enough to the edges that a well controlled fire wouldn't spread to them. 

“We can spend the night here,” Meiriana declared. “The trees won't catch our fire if we're careful. We need a fire, and food.”

“You said something about hunting earlier,” Ella suggested.

Meiriana nodded. “It would be easier with a bow but I can do it without one.” She walked into the center of the clearing and drew an X on the ground where they should make the fire. “Alistair and Morrigan you both know how to make a fire right?”

“I don’t need her help-”

“I don’t need his help-”

They said this simultaneously and Ella chuckled while Meiriana groaned in annoyance. "I didn't ask if you did." She looked at them trying to determine if they were just trying to annoy her because they didn’t appreciate the fact that she as ordering them around right now or if they were just  _ that  _ adverse to each other from the very start.  _ “ _ One of you needs to set up the base for the fire while the other takes Ella and gathers some wood for it.”

“And what are you going to do?” Alistair asked.

“Hunt? That’s what I said I would do,” she replied. “Unless you’d rather go hungry for the night.”

He frowned slightly when she said the part about going hungry for the night. “No, please do hunt. Sleeping on an empty stomach is terrible.”

Meiiana nodded slightly and turned to Ella. “Are you okay with just gathering some wood nearby?”

Ella nodded then said, “Are you okay with hunting alone? I was under the impression that hunting is generally not a solo activity.”

“I much prefer hunting with Tamlen,” Meiriana said, “but he’s... not here anymore. I can hunt alone. It’s not incredibly difficult and I won’t wander far.” She stopped for a moment considering things then added quietly, “Maybe you can make sure Alistair and Morrigan don’t annoy each other to death? If it makes you feel better, I can take Maric with me in case any of the wildlife doesn’t like competition.”

“Just be careful,” Ella said, nodding at Maric to tell him that she agreed with Meiriana’s idea of taking him with her.

“Don’t worry, I will be fine,” Meiriana said as she smiled slightly. “This isn’t my first go and it won't be my last.”


	9. Call of the Wolf-Hounds

Meiriana was a few kilometers away from the camp, holding tightly to the spear she’d made by tying the knife she uses for cleaning animals to the end of a sturdy stick, when she heard the rustling in the thickets at the edge of the path. She smiled slightly. So far all she and Maric had managed to come across was a squirrel and a turtle neither of which would have near enough meat to feed the five of them. She stood still and simply waited.  _ What would show itself? _

She almost cursed when  swamp rat ambled out from underneath one of the plants. Those things were not guaranteed to taste good and she feared the others might not eat it. Maric growled, “No boy,” she whispered to him. “You’ll scare it.” Even if there was no guarantee the others would eat it, there was also no guarantee that she’d actually find something else.

She carefully sneaked up on the rat, glad that it hadn’t noticed her yet. The rat finally noticed her when she was close enough to get it with her spear. She half expected it to run but instead it turned, hissed at her and made to run at her. She simply stabbed it through the front area in between it's legs as it raised up slightly like it was going to jump her.

The rat was easy. Fairly undramatic honestly, she wished all of her hunts could be so boring. Well, not boring, but she could do with less wolf attacks and less bears too. If Tamlen could hear her thoughts he'd tell her she was losing her fun side. She shook her head slightly as she knelt in front of the rat and gave a silent prayer thanking the creators for giving her anything at all. 

She didn't say it but she really missed him. After a moment she stood up and walked over to the thicket that the rat had came out of, examining the plants. _Just like Tamlen often reminds me,_ she thought, _animals often cross paths with hunters where there is food that they can both eat._ _Check the undergrowth and thickets for edible plants._ One of the plants that she noticed was a vine, with no tendrils, purplish  sweet smelling flowers that grew on short evenly spaced stems among both oval and pointed leaves. A plant she was familiar with: groundnut.

"Maric, help me dig up the roots of this will you? It's edible and the others would probably appreciate some vegetables with their meat. Especially if they can't or won't actually eat the meat."

Maric barked happily and came over. With his help, getting to the tuber parts of the roots was easy. She smiled and harvested them just the way Ashalle had taught her, putting them into her bag as she went. They would be very helpful in feeding the others. She also picked a few other plants from among the thickets that she knew would help mask any odd flavor the meat might have. Then she walked back over and picked up the rat carcass and her spear. It weighed a good 10 kilograms and would have enough meat on it for them all. 

The trip back to the camp was thankfully uneventful.  _ Maybe for once nothing will go wrong, _ she thought until she stepped back into the clearing and was immediately greeted by Ella's voice. 

"Is that a  _ rat _ ?" 

Meiriana nodded and brought it closer to the campfire before setting it down and instead handing over the groundnuts from her bag to Morrigan. "Do you know how to prepare these?"

Morrigan nodded. "Of course I do, I've lived in these Wilds my whole life."

"Will you prepare them while I prepare the meat for cooking?" Meiriana asked.

Morrigan nodded and went back over to the rat carcass noticing that Ella was slightly pale.  _ Creators I hope she will at least give it a try, it's hard telling when the last time she actually ate something was. _

"What's that thing taste like?" Alistair asked as Meiriana untied the knife from her spear and began skinning it.

"Like you're not going to starve tonight," Meiriana replied then added, '"Other than that, describing the taste of Nutria is a bit tricky for me since I don't have it very often, usually my clan eats deer or rabbit or sometimes after a really lucky hunt bear."

"It's not going to make us sick is it?" Alistair asked.

"Not unless you're allergic to it, probably. I can only speak for myself," Meiriana replied, "but poor Ella there looks like she's going to be sick just thinking about it. Ella, please just try it when it's cooked. If you don't like it you don't have to eat it. There's always the groundnut, it's a bit like potato."

Ella didn't reply but Meiriana could tell she wasn't entirely trusting of her opinion on these things right at the moment.  _ Probably her noble sensibilities. Humans are weird.  _

She decided to just keep working on getting the meat off the animal and into a state that she could cook it over the fire with very limited options available to her. After all the meat was in that state then she could worry about other things like what she could do with the bones, fur, and skin. They all had a use. She knew, she just wasn't sure at the moment if that use was, well, useful. She hated to be wasteful.

It only took about half an hour for the meat to be ready to cook, and then only another thirty to forty minutes for the meat to be cooked. She rationed it out amongst the others and ate some herself. It was actually a lot better than she'd been expecting, the herbs definitely helped. She noticed that despite having a strange slightly uncomfortable look on her face, Ella was actually eating it.  The groundnuts weren't bad either, Morrigan had done an excellent job cooking them on-or perhaps in-the fire.

When they had all eaten their fill, they had decided to work out a guard schedule. Alistair volunteered to take the first watch, then Ella would, then Morrigan, and Meiriana would take the final watch. With that all settled, Alistair moved to where they'd decided the watch location was and the remaining three laid down in various places to try and get some sleep. Morrigan, Meiriana had noticed, had picked a spot relatively away from the rest of them.  _ Will she even still be here when we wake up? She doesn't actually have to stay with us, I think. I wonder if she knows that. _

Meiriana laid her bag on the ground next to her, then laid on her stomach close to the dying fire. Cold didn't bother her much anymore. There was just something comforting about being next to the fire that Meiriana absolutely loved. Plus she needed the light, she pulled her journal out of the bag because she wanted to write in her journal some before she fell asleep.    
  
_ \-- I don't know what today is, I'm not even all that certain what month today is. A lot has happened. A lot needs to be filled in. Tamlen's gone. I'm no longer with the clan. I've become a Grey-Warden. There's a blight. And some new possible friends. Family, I guess. Grey-Wardens are probably technically like an army but I suppose we're also a family. Just like the clan.  _

 

_ \-- I have so many questions. Is it possible Tamlen is still alive? What exactly are the different types of darkspawn? Where do the darkspawn come from? What happened to Kallian? Do Alistair and Ella trust me? Do they see me as a person?  How do you end a blight anyway? _

 

She sighed slightly. It seemed wrong of to leave so many things so vague so she took the time to fill in several pages with everything that had happened so far but in a relatively short manner. She also included everything she thought she knew so far about the darkspawn that she'd encountered so far, about the Chant of Light and the Chantry, about mages, about the wilds and flowers and mabaris. She hated leaving things unknown but for now, writing them in her journal was the only way she knew of to document things.

It took a little while before she was too tired and the fire too dim for her to keep writing.

She stuck her journal back inside her bag then and curled up, staring at the dying embers of the fire. She let her eyes close of their own accord, drifting off to sleep thoughtlessly.   
  
\--

_ The woods were calmer at night when most animals were asleep. She smiled back at Tamlen happily. He was lagging slightly behind, as was usual. He smiled back at her, The hunt will go well, she knew. It always goes well when he's with me. _

_ She heard the rustling and laughing but she did not see where it was coming from and stopped in her tracks. Animals don't make those sounds. Tamlen was quick to catch up. _

_ "What is it, Lethallin, he asked quietly. _

_ "Humans, I think," she replied in a whisper. _

_ Tamlen looked up and furrowed his brow slightly. She knew he wasn't happy with that thought. Humans in the woods always spelled trouble for them. Even if sometimes it was just as simple as they did not know how to be silent on a hunt and scared away the animals. _

_ He nodded toward the tree they were standing at the base of and she understood. She climbed up into it carefully and then waited for him to join her. It was only a few moments before the humans came down the path.  _

_ "Oooh I'm sooo scared," one of them said jokingly. "These woods are obviously haunted." _

_ "Shut it," the only girl with them said. "You're going to scare away all the animals, then what will we eat?" _

_ "Both of you shut up," the man at the front said. He was taller than the others and obviously in charge since the others did actually shut up when he old them to. "We aren't after animals, not like you're thinking of." _

_ "If you want to go after Dalish children that's on your own head Maddox," the girl said. "I'm only here because Henri owes me money and he can't pay me back if he dies on this fool's errand." _

_ "Didn't I say to shut up," Maddox replied.  _

_ Meiriana glanced at Tamlen. Slavers, she thought. "We have to warn the Keeper," she whispered.  _

_ "Lethallan, you are the kind of child the slavers want," Tamlen whispered back. _

_ Meiriana sighed and nodded. The slavers were in the way of them being able to return to camp, and she was still an apprentice. Well they were both apprentices, but she was the younger one.  _

_ "What can we do?" she whispered.  _

_ "They want to hunt Dalish," Tamlen whispered with a small grin. "Let's see how well they hold up to a Dalish Hunt." _

_ "Wolf calls?" Meiriana asked quietly. _

_ "Wolf calls," he confirmed.  _

_ Meiriana smiled and then raised her head and gave off a short tonal howl. They waited a few moments and then somewhere in the distance came an answering howl.  _

_ "And the chase shall begin." _

_ The next howl was louder... too loud— _   
\--   
  


Meiriana shot up next to the ashes of the fire as another howl sounded.  _ Wolves? No... Maric? _

She looked around and spotted Maric at the edge of the camp howling. He'd let off one howl and somewhere in the distance another howl responded. Wolf howls, though none came, sounded distinctly different. It must have been another Mabari answering his howls.

Ella was sitting up too, her turn on guard actually. She seemed confused.

Meiriana got up and walked over to her carefully. "Is he trying to lead that other Mabari to us?"

"I think so," Ella replied. "I wonder if there's anyone with that Mabari or if it's alone."

"I kind of hope Kallian is with it," Meiriana said quietly. 

"I thought you didn't like Kallian," Ella said as Maric howled again and the answering howl was much closer.

"Doesn't mean I want her to have died at the battle," Meiriana said. "She's a Grey-Warden just like us."

Ella nodded. "Well, maybe she is. I wonder if it's the Mabari that you saved with the flower. Mabaris are smart and if he decided he wanted you to be his person, then he'd want to find you again if he survived the battle, which he probably did. Mabari are strong and proud, it would take more than just a few darkspawn to kill one."

Meiriana nodded and then tilted her head when Maric's howling turned into barking, followed closely by answering barks from up the path that she'd followed when she was hunting. And that barking was followed by a voice.

"Enough with the barking, Dog. There's only one path here. Do you  _ want _ the darkspawn to catch up to us? Because obviously they  _ definitely _ know where we are  _ now _ ."

"Kallian!" Meiriana and Ella gasped at the same time, though Ella's was a gasp of surprise and Meiriana's was happy.

It was only a couple minutes before Kallian and the dog emerged from the path and Meiriana let out another gasp. "Fluffy!"

The mabari barked excitedly and ran over to her then jumped around at her feet. 

"Really?" Kallian said. "Really. You'd rather have her than me?"

"I saved his life," Meiriana replied as Fluffy tilted their head in confusion. 

"What?" she asked. "Are you not a he?" 

Fluffy barked defiantly. 

"A girl mabari," she said proudly. 

Fluffy barked excitedly.

Kallian made a noise somewhere between a groan and a scoff.

"Don't be like that Kallian," Meiriana said. "I am actually really glad that you survived."

Kallian smiled briefly, a flash of a possible actual smile. It was cute. She shook her head slightly and said, "Well... it was kind of you to worry about me, but there was no need. It would take more than just an army of darkspawn to kill me."

Meririana chuckled slightly, then turned to Ella. "If you want to go ahead and get some more sleep," she said, "I can take the next watch."

Ella frowned slightly. "Isn't the next watch supposed to be Morrigan's?"

Meiriana turned toward where Morrigan had gone to sleep and was surprised to see her both still there and still asleep. "Well if you want to wake her up, you can, but it's easier for me to just go ahead and take the watch since I am already awake."

Ella nodded slightly. She smiled at Fluffy who had sat down next to Meiriana's feet. "You'll do nicely."

Meiriana wasn't sure if Ella meant her or Fluffy. She chose to believe that it was a compliment either way. She watched for a moment as Ella walked to a different part of the clearing and laid down to sleep, Maric went over and joined her.

Kallian seemed unsure of what to do for a moment then decided to just sit down next to Meiriana. "I'll keep watch with you," she declared quietly.

"You should sleep," Meiriana said. 

Kallian shook her head. "The darkspawn are heading this way. If they catch up, I am not going to be caught off guard."

Meiriana shrugged and at her feet Fluffy whined. She reached over and scratched Fluffy's head gently. "Don't worry, Fluffy," she whispered. 

Fluffy put her head on Meiriana's knee and looked at her for a moment before laying down in front of her and Kallian. 

"You're seriously going to call the dog Fluffy?" Kallian said.

"Yes," Meiriana replied simply. 

Kallian frowned and looked down at the dog then out at the paths through the wilds. "Where are we going after this?"

"Lothering," Meiriana replied. "It's a village on the northern edge of the wilds. From there I'm not sure, probably Redcliffe. Ella has an ally there who might be able to help us with the whole building an army thing."

"Really? Because honestly, I think we should march ourselves to Denerim and fight Loghain. His  _ inaction _ led to the death of the king," Kallian said fiercely.

"The blight is the more pressing issue. Human politics can wait, they'll have to," Meiriana said. "King or no king all of Ferelden, all of Thedas, will burn if the blight is not ended and soon." 

"Wow," Kallian said. "You're kind of depressing. But you're probably also very, very right."

"Look Kallian," Meiriana said, "I hate talking. But here's one thing about when I do talk I usually don't say things that I think could be wrong."

Kallian considered this then simply said, "You don't have to talk to me then. It's enough that you don't hate me."

"I don't hate anyone," Meiriana said.  _ Hate is a very strong emotion. I don't actually know if I would even know what hating someone feels like.  _

"Do you love anyone?" Kallian asked. 

"Yes." It was a simple answer. All that she felt was needed. Kallian didn't need to know about Merrill or Tamlen. Actually she already knew about Tamlen.

"Oh, that's right, I remember. Your fiance Tamlen. Was he the only person you love?" Kallian asked.

Meiriana groaned then just said, "No."

"Would you tell me about the other guy, or about Tamlen?" Kallian asked. "I'll tell you about Nelaros if you do. And about my family."

"There was no 'other guy'," Meiriana said slightly annoyed but unsure why.

"But, you like men," Kallian said.

"I like women too," Meiriana replied.

"You can't like both. You have to like one or the other. Which do you like more? That's the one you really like," Kallian said.

"I like  _ both _ . I don't know if there's a word for it in common," Meiriana said.

"There isn't, because that's not a real thing," Kallian said.

Meiriana glared slightly. "Are you being a jerk on purpose, Kallian? I know myself. I know who I like."

"Have you ever had sex with a woman?" Kallian asked. "If you haven't, then how could you possibly know that you like them?"

"Sex isn't necessary for love," Meiriana snapped.

"Yes it is," Kallian snapped back. "You can't know that you love someone until you've had sex with them. Did you have sex with Tamlen?"

Meiriana responded by hitting her. Hard. Then she stood up, said, " _ Fenedhis lasa! _ That's none of your business," and walked away. 

She leaned against a tree at the edge of the path they'd be following in the morning, her shoulders slumped slightly and tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, though she wasn't sure at all what was actually the problem. 

Kallian had crossed some kind of line, she knew, and it scared her that her response had been to hit Kallian instead of just telling her that she was crossing a line. Still, that wasn’t why she was crying. She was crying at the thoughts that had came into her head when Kallian asked that question.  _ Are they the real problem? Or is Kallian asking the real problem? _

She resolved that she wouldn’t tell anyone at all why she was crying. They didn’t need to know.  _ They don’t need that. No one does. Even Tamlen didn’t have that information. _

She sighed and considered whether or not she should apologize to Kallian for punching her, then decided that fuck that, Kallian deserved it. She half expected Kallian to come over and try to apologize or be angry with her or something, but that didn’t happen. 

_ Lethallin, it’s okay to be angry when someone insults you, _ Tamlen had told her this once. She sighed. Kallian hadn’t insulted her.  _ Anger is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just an emotion, like hope, fear, love, happiness. They’re all just emotions. It’s okay to feel them. It’s okay to act on those emotions too. You don’t need to be afraid of the things you feel. _

She stared down the path, alert for any movement at all. It was this alertness that had told her when Fluffy had joined her in watching the path. She let her hand fall to her side where Fluffy could press her head against it and then sighed slightly. 

Fluffy whined in concern. 

Meiriana pet her head but didn’t say anything that might possibly ease Fluffy’s concerns at all. She couldn’t tell who she was angrier at; herself or Kallian. After an hour or so of thinking, trying to puzzle out who she was angry at and why the thought of having sex with... anyone really... bothered her so much, she noticed some movement from within the camp itself and turned quickly, wondering if darkspawn could appear from the ground. 

It was actually just Morrigan. She watched as Morrigan stretched in the moonlight filtering down from behind the clouds in the sky.  _ Creators she’s beautiful. _ Meiriana blushed and turned around quickly to look back up the path. 

Beside her, Fluffy whined and nudged her like  _ “go talk to the pretty woman!” _

She swatted Fluffy away gently. “No, now isn’t the time. I’d just say something I regret,” she whispered. 

She almost didn’t notice when Morrigan came over until Morrigan was standing right beside her. Neither she nor Morrigan actually said anything for the first ten or so minutes that Morrigan was standing there.

Then Morrigan spoke, “I am curious Meiriana, where the other elf and dog came from.”

“Kallian and Fluffy survived the battle. Kallian is a Grey-Warden,” Meiriana replied. “Fluffy was a hound of the king’s army, I saved her life with Andraste’s Grace and now she’s decided that I am her person.”

“I see,” Morrigan mused before falling silent again. 

Meiriana went back to leaning against the tree, content to stand watch in silence if Morrigan would give her that luxury. 

She did. For well over an hour, until the sun had risen enough that more than just the sky was lit by its feeble rays. Then Morrigan simply suggested they wake the others and move on. A sentiment which Meiriana fully agreed with.


	10. A Bard In The Hand

It was quiet in the Wilds for the rest of the way through, mostly because everyone in the group was too tired to talk. Alistair spent a good ten minutes in camp wondering if he was seeing double or if there really were now two Mabari with the group. He’d asked Ella if Kallian was really there or if he was seeing a spirit, to which Ella replied that she wasn’t aware spirits could have bruises.

Meiriana had refused to even look at Kallian. It wasn’t that she was still angry at Kallian, well not entirely that she was still angry. Looking at Kallian brought back those disturbing thoughts from after the conversation.  _ What if sex really is required for love? Does that mean Tamlen didn’t actually love me? Would it mean that me not wanting sex with him means that I didn’t really love him? _ She shook her head slightly to clear them of those thoughts.

After a little while walking on the path, she glanced at Morrigan mostly to judge if she was possibly walking too fast. The sunlight made Morrigan glow slightly, most likely from her jewelry. Meiriana quickly turned back to looking at nothing but the path ahead, hoping she wasn’t blushing.  _ Why is she so pretty? _ she thought then remembered there was a time she’d said the same thing about Merrill, who had overheard and then kissed her. Now she was sure that she was blushing.

She wondered for a moment then if anyone even cared that she was blushing. She didn’t actually want to find out though. Someone would probably point it out if they saw. Maybe comment on it. Either way she would just end up more embarrassed and blush more. Honestly that didn't actually matter much.

They were nearing the end of the Wilds and would be coming up on... on... well actually Meiriana had never been this far north without being inside the Brecilian forest before. Her clan generally avoided the northern parts of Ferelden, and areas outside of forests and the Frostbacks because of humans. If humans lived in or near or too close to the place, her clan avoided it. She was out of her element, but it was probably safe to assume it would be like farmland or something.

They exited the Wilds next to a fenced off wheat field. A little ways ahead of them the path joined with a different, well worn, path into some semblance of a road leading to the highway where  Lothering was. They would need to use the road to get to the village and within the village there was probably somewhere they could get some supplies before moving on. Maybe they could even end up with a bite to eat. Food would be amazing right now. Any food.

It seemed like a simple task, just walk down the road. But nothing is ever simple.

Fluffy and Maric both twitched their ears for a second then turned and started barking fiercely at the wheat field.

Meiriana turned to look then cursed slightly. Fucking darkspawn. Of course.

They were coming out of the field, just a small group of them, about maybe a dozen in all, mostly genlocks. It wouldn’t be a hard fight.

“Stay back, Meiriana,” Ella said. “The worst thing that could happen right now is you getting hurt because you’re the only one of us with no weapons.”

Meiriana sighed slightly but she knew Ella was right. They didn't have any way to treat any injuries right now, so getting injured by darkspawn in this fight would probably be a death sentence. “Good luck,” she said, taking a few steps back.

She did not watch them fight. It was not necessary for her to see a fight to know it was happening. They would win. The darkspawn might outnumber them, but Kallian was practically an army on her own, combined with Ella, Alistair, Morrigan and two well trained warhounds? There was absolutely no way the darkspawn could win.

The fight only lasted a few minutes and then they were on their way again. Lothering was not far at all from the edge of the Wilds and the rest of the walk was peaceful, until they got up onto the highway itself and were about to cross into the village.

There were some men blocking the highway. Meiriana frowned slightly when she saw them.

One of them stepped forward with a grin on his face and Meiriana involuntarily stepped backwards into Ella.

“We’re collecting tolls,” the man said. “All proceeds go to the upkeep of the Imperial Highway.”

Meiriana shivered slightly, unsure why.

“Really?” Kallian snickered. “I think you look a lot like bandits.”

_ Oh, that’s why. _

“I don’t think we should bother them, boss. Dey don’t look like no refugees,” one of them said.

“Everyone has to pay the toll, that’s why it’s a toll and not say... a refugee tax,” the one at the front said.

“We don’t want any trouble,” Alistair said.

“Then pay the toll.”

“We don’t have any money,” Alistair said.

“This is pointless,” Morrigan said. “Are you sure you want to mess with three armed Grey-Wardens and their Mabaris?”

“Everyone has to pay the toll,” the man confirmed again.

“I think you have a choice,” Kallian said. “Leave. Or I’ll kill you myself for exploiting the refugees fleeing the Blight.”

Meiriana was sure that Ella had things to say too, but currently Ella was just holding her by the shoulders protectively as though she thought they might try to take her for the toll instead. Fluffy and Maric growled menacingly beside them.

“You really think you’re that scary?’ the man chuckled.

“Maybe we should just leave them be, boss,” one of the others said. “They are armed. And they’re Grey-Wardens.”

The man seemed to consider this for a moment then he nodded. “Right well... I guess we’ll just be on our way.”

“No,” Kallian said. “First you’re going to give us everything you stole from the refugees.”

The man glared then decided that his life was more important than the money and begrudgingly handed over a small coin purse that was completely full. “The rest is in that chest,” he said motioning over his shoulder at a chest behind him. “Come on, boys. Let’s get out of here before she decides to make good on that threat to kill us.”

They pushed past Ella and Meiriana and left really quickly. Ella leaned over slightly and whispered to Meiriana, “Are you alright? You seem a little panicked.”

 

“It...” She considered what she could say about it, but it was hard.  _ If I haven’t told Tamlen or Merrill, why would I tell this hum—Ella. Even if she is my friend. I barely know her. _ “It’s nothing,” Meiriana whispered back. “Let’s just keep going.”

“Right,” Ella said.  Meiriana couldn’t be sure, but she bet that Ella wasn’t going to press the issue, but she wasn’t sure why she thought that.

She watched as Kallian dug through the chest that the bandits had pulling out some more small coin purses and handing one to Alistair then tossing one at Ella and one at Meiriana.  _ What am I supposed to do with money? _ She decided it was a question for another time and put it into her bag. Despite already knowing that the bag was bigger inside than it looked on the outside she still was surprised at how much she had in there at the moment.

"I actually really feel bad for those refugees," Kallian said. “They didn’t ask for any of this. All they want is to live, and yet people still try to take advantage of them. If we see any of them in the village, we should at the very least let them know we ran the bandits off.”

They continued on then, past the bandit’s chest and down a small ramp into an area in front of the village where quite a number of refugees were camped. There were chickens and small children running about. Meiriana sighed slightly at the sight. It wasn’t right, not by a long shot. Some of these refugees were elves, most were human, but all deserved better than some shabby tent.

“We need a plan,” Alistair said suddenly.

Meiriana turned to him. “Yes. Do you have some idea?”

“Look who finally decided to rejoin us,” Morrigan joked. “Decided that falling on your sword in grief is too much work?”

“Oh ha-ha,” Alistair replied dryly. “Haven’t you ever lost someone? What would you do if your mother died?”

“Before or after I stopped laughing?” Morrigan asked.

“Right, very creepy, forget I asked,” Alistair said. “Anyway, we need a plan. We can’t just stay here in Lothering, probably not even for one night. The horde, what’s left of them, are heading this way and it would be very bad if we died here.”

“Well, do you have a plan?” Meiriana asked.

“I think we should go to Redcliffe,” Alistair said. “Arl Eamon will help us.”

“I agree,” Ella said. “Eamon is our best bet at the moment. He has an army, and he owes his allegiance to my father and to me.”

“What do you think Morrigan?” Meiriana asked. “Kallian?”

“I think we should go to Denerim and take on that man, Loghain, it is his fault we are in this mess, is it not?” Morrigan said.

“I agree,” Kallian said.

“Need I remind you that Loghain has an army,” Alistair said.

“I was asked my opinion and I gave it, there is no need to comment on how implausible acting upon the idea would be,” Morrigan snipped.

“Please don’t fight,” Meiriana said.

“We don’t need an army,” Kallian said. “Not to take on Loghain. We have everything we need to fight him right here.” With that she pointed to Ella. “Teyrna Cousland.”

Meiriana tilted her head. She knew next to nothing about actual human politics. “Does that make her really important?”

“Second only to the King, when we still had one,” Kallian replied as though that were supposed to be obvious.

“I see,” Meiriana said. She did not.

“I’m not sure that having me there will help,” Ella said. “Castle Cousland was forcibly taken over and my family killed. I don’t know what Howe’s next move would have been but it’s likely not good.”

“You’re more Queen than Queen Anora,” Kallian said. “You actually have some right to be on the throne, she... she’s just a commoner who happened to marry the King.”

“Anora is an excellent queen,” Ella replied. “Very... commanding.”

Meiriana tilted her head. It sounded to her like Ella had some other opinion about Queen Anora that she just wasn’t willing to share. “I’m hungry. Let’s just go down there, find some supplies, and move on.”

“Right,” Alistair said. “There should be a tavern, and there might be a merchant that would have something like a tent or more than one tent... bedrolls too.”

“I can make bedrolls with enough time and bear skins,” Meiriana said. “Buying them would probably just be quicker.”

“Where would you get bear skins,” Kallian asked.

“From a bear,” Meiriana replied and she walked toward the village entrance hoping the others would eventually decide to follow her.

The village was small. Not a real shock, she had assumed villages might be small. It was still bigger than her clan’s usual camps. There wasn’t really much of anything all that impressive about the village, she decided. The real shock to her came when the others left her to exploring alone.

She had wandered around the corner of one building to see what was behind it and when she turned around the others, except for Fluffy, were gone. “Hey girl, where’s the others?” she asked Fluffy.

Fluffy tilted her head and looked around. She sniffed the air then walked away with Meiriana at her heels. The village was small, and the others would be easy to find, Meiriana hoped. She barked and pointed her nose at the others who were arguing with a merchant nearby.

Meiriana shrugged. “Well now I know where they are,” she said. Then tilted her head curiously at a strange smell on the air. “Fluffy, find the smell.”

Fluffy whined inquisitively, as though asking. “What smell?”

“That strange sweet smell,” Meiriana said.

Fluffy barked happily then led Meiriana to an elven refugee nearby. They had cookies in a little cloth bag.

“Back off dog these cookies are mine, I don’t have anything for you,” the refugee said.

“Where did you get them?” Meiriana asked.

The refugee narrowed their eyes at Meiriana as though insulted that a Dalish was talking to them. “I brought them with me. I don’t have anything else. I’ll admit that two dozen cookies probably isn’t the best thing to bring with you when darkspawn destroy your house, but they were all I had on me at the time.”

“Could I have them?” Meiriana asked. “I can give you...” she reached into her bag and pulled out two silver coins from the coin purse. She didn’t know how human money worked, but she did understand the concept of exchanging things to get other things, and she assumed the refugee could exchange the coins for more cookies. “Will this be enough?” she asked.

The refugee eyed her suspiciously then nodded. “Yes, I think I can part with the cookies for that.”

Meiriana handed them the coins and they handed her the bag of cookies. The refugee then nodded and walked away.

“I’ve never had a cookie before,” Meiriana said to Fluffy. “I wonder if they’re good.”

She took one out of the bag and sniffed it. It smelled sweet. She couldn’t quite describe the specifics of the smell but she was happy to try eating them. It was a lot more crumbly than she’d expected. She gasped audibly, though muffled, when she realized there was chocolate inside the cookie. She’d only had chocolate twice before, when Marethari had brought some back from the Arlathvhen one year, and she  _ loved it. _ She ate that one, then another before putting them inside her bag.

She was still eating the second cookie when she rejoined the others. She noticed that Alistair now had a fairly large backpack, which she assumed had the supplies they’d need to set up camp, and was holding his shield.

“Where did you get a cookie,” Ella asked.

“I bought them from a refugee for two silver coins.”

Alistair and Kallian both stared at her in shock.

“What?” Meiriana tilted her head as she took the final bite of the cookie. “Did I do something wrong?”

“How many cookies did you buy? Like a hundred?” Kallian asked.

“Two dozen,” Meiriana said.

“You got scammed,” Kallian said.

“No, I offered the coins in exchange for the cookies,” Meiriana said. She looked down for a moment then said, “I don’t know how money works, we don’t use the stuff. The Dalish have a barter system.”

“Perhaps you should let us handle buying things,” Kallian said. “Alistair and I know how money works.”

“I’m sure Ella knows something about money too,” Alistair said as though he didn’t trust himself with the stuff.

Ella looked at them, she’d been distracted by watching Maric who had wandered off. “That’s really probably not a good idea, I’m used to other people buying things for me.”

“You know you can say that you had servants,” Kallian said. “I won’t get offended.”

Ella blushed slightly like she’d just been called out for something.

Kallian sighed and then looked around. "What next?"

"We should find the tavern," Meiriana declared. "I'm hungry."

Kallian narrowed her eyes. "You have cookies."

"I'm hungry," Meiriana said again. Having cookies didn't make her any less hungry. After all, she had only eaten two of them. She looked around. There had to be a tavern, Alistair had said so. He should know. He's human. She paced for a moment. Wanting to go in one direction, but not knowing which direction.

"Meiriana are you okay?" Alistair asked. "You seem..."

"Jittery," Morrigan suggested. "I bet our little elf hasn't had cookies before."

"They have chocolate inside them!" Meiriana declared. "I'm hungry," she added with a whine. Fluffy whined too. "Fluffy is hungry too."

Alistair grabbed her arm gently to stop her pacing around because she was about to walk into someone.

Meiriana's eyes went wide and she pushed him away quickly, knocking herself down in the process. "NO. Don't touch me." She was briefly aware that there might have been tears in her eyes.  _ No no no bad. _

Alistair started to apologize but Meiriana just jumped up and ran away.

_ No. No. No. No. _

She wasn't aware of where she was running to, she just knew she needed to leave. She was vaguely aware of crossing a bridge, dodging through a crowd of refugees and into a building. She stopped running.

_ No. Bad. _

She looked around, trying to figure out where she was and why she was so afraid. She smelled food. A few deep breaths and then she figured out that she might just be inside the tavern she'd wanted to find so badly. Stepping into the crowd of people she looked for some place she could sit down, someplace to order food if there was any to be had. She must have looked lost.

Some men in armor stepped in front of her.

_ No. No. BAD. _ She stopped.

"Heh, look at this boys, a little lost Grey-Warden," one of them chuckled.

"I'm not a Grey-Warden," Meiriana said.  _ Why am I lying to them? _

The man leaned down and said, "You don't fool me, brat. I was at Ostagar."

Meiriana shivered involuntarily.  _ Bad. Bad. Bad. I want Tamlen. _

"Is there a problem here?"

Meiriana looked over at the person who had spoken. It was a girl. A woman. In robes just like the Chantry sisters at Ostagar had been wearing. She had daggers.  _ Since when do Chantry sisters have daggers? _

"It's none of your concern, Sister," the man sneered. "We're just conversing with our friend." He reached out and put a hand on Meiriana's cheek but she flinched away. She closed her eyes, too scared to do much of anything else.

"Well I am making it my concern, leave the poor girl alone."

"Meiriana!"  _ That was Ella's voice. _

She wasn't quite aware of the fight. Her mind had gone blank with panic when she was pushed to the floor. When she was aware of something, it was that she was looking up into the worried face of the red-haired Chantry sister.

"You are safe," she said. "They will not hurt you. You can talk, no? Are you hurt?" Meiriana didn't recognize the woman's accent but it was comforting to her.

"I'm... I... I think I'm okay," Meiriana said sitting up. "What happened?"

"Loghain's men," Ella said from somewhere to Meiriana's right. "They seem to be under the impression that Loghain might just end up declaring us outlaws when he hears we still live. Luckily for us, he hasn't made it back to Denerim yet. He will soon, possibly today. We might just have an actual problem on our hands with him."

“You panicked.” It was a simple statement from Morrigan. “Alistair grabbed your arm and you panicked. Kallian hit him for it.”

“Kallian, no,” Meiriana said looking to see if Kallian was even in there to hear her.

“She and he and the dogs are outside,” Morrigan said simply.

“Why did you panic,” Ella asked quietly. “He wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

“I don’t care,” Meiriana said, surprising herself. “And you don’t need to know.” She hoped she didn’t just shatter whatever small amount of trust she’d built with Ella. “It’s not important.”

“It is important, Meiriana,” Ella said. “If it bothers you, it’s important.”

“It’s  _ not _ important.” Meiriana was certain of this. It was not important. Alistair wouldn’t hurt her.  _ Would he?  _ There was no real reason to be afraid of him and that’s why she was positive it wasn’t important.

“Are you really Grey-Wardens?”

Meiriana looked at the Chantry sister. “I’m not a Grey-Warden.”

Ella tilted her head.

“Ah, but you are. You can try to lie about it but you’re not very good at that.”

Meiriana frowned.

The Chantry sister chuckled. “Do not worry, I will tell no one. My name is Leliana.”

“I’m Meiriana.” She glanced at Ella and Morrigan. Both had blood on them, the Chantry sister did too in fact. She was more concerned with the fact that Ella was blushing. “That’s Ella, and behind her is Morrigan.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” Leliana said she smiled slightly. “May I join you? You want to end the Blight, no? I want to help. My skills could be of use to you. There are so many refugees here, and so little I can do for them, I wish to be of use somewhere where my helping will do actual good. Is this alright?”

“Absolutely,” Ella said suddenly. “We can never have too many beautiful girls. May I ask, where did a Chantry sister learn to fight like that? It’s really impressive. I’m impressed.”

Meiriana stifled a giggle.  _ Ella has a crush! _


	11. Murderers Like Cookies Too

“We weren’t all raised in the Chantry,” Leliana said. “Many of us had more colorful lives before we came to the cloister.”

“Really?” Ella asked. “What did you do before?”

“I was a singer,” Leliana said.

“A bard?” Ella asked. 

Meiriana tilted her head, sure that she’d picked up a hint of suspicion on Ella’s voice, though she wasn’t at all sure why that would be. Unless she was missing something, which she probably was.

“I prefer minstrel,” Leliana replied.

“Minstrel,” Ella said.

For some reason, Meiriana felt like Ella didn’t believe her. She could be wrong, it was possible Ella believed her and was just making sure she’d heard it correctly.

“Yes,” Leliana confirmed. 

“I see,” Ella said. “You can come with us, but first you have to tell us if there’s anywhere here that might still have some food. Or weapons, for Meiriana.”

“Does she not have her own?” Leliana asked. 

“Unfortunately I don't, at the moment,” Meiriana said. “I can make my own bow but it would require a lot of time and some materials that we don't have.”

“You are an archer?” Leliana said with a smile. It sounded like a question, but she didn’t wait for an answer. “I was trained to be an archer too. A Dwarven merchant and his son passed through here a little while ago. He had a nice bow for sale, but I did not have a need for it. We might still be able to catch up with him. You have money, no?”

Meiriana chuckled nervously. “Technically yes, but I… I’ve never used human money before. I don’t exactly know how it works.”

“I wouldn’t worry much. He seemed like an honest man, he probably won’t scam you,” Leliana said. “If he does try to scan you, don't worry, I’ll warn you.” 

Meiriana smiled. She was really happy that Leliana didn't seem to think her not knowing how to use money was weird. There were a lot of things about her that could be seen as weird. As a thank you she reached in the herb pouch and pulled out one of the Andraste's Grace to give to her. She felt like it was a good way to say thank you, but Leliana seemed shocked. She stared at the flower slightly apprehensively before taking it.   
“This is…”

“A show of thanks, or maybe one of welcome,” Meiriana said.

“Meiriana, normally people don’t just give flowers to people they just met,” Ella said. 

“They don’t?” Meiriana asked sadly. 

“It’s quite alright,” Leliana said quickly. “It’s just that Andraste’s Grace is my favorite flower and I wasn’t expecting it is all.”

“Oh, well if it’s your favorite, I could make you a flower crown!” Meiriana exclaimed happily. “Maybe while we eat. I’m still hungry.”

“I don’t think the tavern has any food left,” Leliana said. “However, I’m sure we can find something. Perhaps there is a merchant, or… The Revered Mother might be able to give us something.”

Meiriana tilted her head.  _ The Revered Mother? What’s that?  _

“Yes, well,” Morrigan said, seemingly worried that Meiriana might actually ask about the chantry things. “Why don’t you and Ella go see to that while Meiriana and I don’t go to the Chantry. Take Alistair with you.”

Ella seemed to consider this for a moment, then stood up. “I think it’s at least worth a try. The Revered Mother might at least know where we could get something. It’s too far to go to Redcliffe without having eaten something.”

“I could hunt again, once we get the bow from the merchant,” Meiriana said. “I’m sure there’s something nearby.”

“There’s Rams in the Hinterlands,” Ella said. “But killing them would be poaching, and Blight or no, that’s illegal and the farmers would attack you for trying.”

Meiriana nodded. That was understandable, her clan felt the same way about their Halla. Rams would be out of the question. Unless maybe… “Do you think one of those farmers might sell us a ram?”

Ella considered this. “Maybe. If we have enough. I doubt they’d give us a ram strictly because I’m a Cousland.” 

“They might,” Meiriana said. “Kallian said that you’re really important.”

Ella didn’t seem convinced as she and Leliana stood up. “Even if they would, it would be rude to ask them to give me things simply because I’m a noble. It’s best we just ask if they’ll sell. I suggest you wait somewhere outside. The tavern owner doesn’t seem happy about the fight.”

Meiriana stood up and nodded. “Okay, Morrigan and I will wait… outside.”

She watched Ella and Leliana leave. As they did so, Leliana paused to apologize to the tavern owner for the trouble. Then she and Morrigan left. Morrigan was quiet, which was fine with Meiriana. It wasn’t like she really knew what to say anyways.

Once they were outside, Kallian walked over with the dogs. “Ella and the chantry girl took Alistair to the chantry. Meiriana, are you okay? Putting aside whatever I said to make you angry last night, are you okay? Alistair didn’t actually hurt you did he? I really hope he didn’t.”

Meiriana didn’t reply at first. She wasn’t sure that Kallian actually cared. It seemed kind of stupid to her that Kallian would suddenly care after the things she’d said the previous night. Still, Kallian did seem a little concerned. “It’s fine.”

“I don’t believe you,” Kallian said. “But it’s not my place, I can see that much.” She paused for a moment then added quietly, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that whatever happened had to happen to you.”

Meiriana nodded then said, “ _ ’Ma serannas. _ ” She still wasn’t sure Kallian actually cared, but that last bit of her apology did seem sincere. She also wasn’t sure that Kallian actually understood what she'd just said, so she hoped her intent was clear.

Fluffy sniffed the air then barked excitedly and ran off. 

“Wait, Fluffy!” Meiriana ran after her, and Kallian and Morrigan sighed and followed with Maric at their heels. 

Fluffy barked happily ahead of Meiriana and then stopped next to a cage. Meiriana was about to chastise Fluffy for running off like that when she noticed that inside the cage was a man. A prisoner from the looks of him. He was… odd. His hair was in neat white braids and his face looked like he was eternally angry at the world.  _ How sad. Maybe he’s hungry? _ “Hi,” she said walking around to the front of the cage. “Who are you?”

The man grunted like he didn’t like being addressed by anyone but begrudgingly replied, “I am Sten of the Beresaad.”

“Sten? What’s the Beresaad?” she asked.

“Soldiers,” Sten replied. “Qunari soldiers.”

“Qunari? I thought Qunari had horns.” She reached into her bag and pulled out one of the cookies. “I don’t know why you’re in that cage, Sten of the Beresaad, but you must be hungry. This is all I have at the moment, but I don’t mind sharing.”

“Meiriana it is not wise to share your food with prisoners. He could be a murderer for all you know of him,” Morrigan said. 

“Kallian  _ is _ a murderer and I’d share my cookies with her,” Meiriana pointed out.

The man accepted the cookie. “What is it?”

“It’s a cookie,” Meiriana said. “They’re like biscuits, but sweet. These have chocolate in the middle.”

The man narrowed his eyes at the cookie, as though he thought that from Meiriana’s description there was no way they could be any good then he took a bite. After eating the whole thing he deigned to ask one question of his own. “Do you have another?”

Meiriana nodded and got him another cookie. “Yeah, here’s another. Why are you a prisoner?”

“I killed a family,” Sten replied.

“Oh… why?” Meiriana asked.

“Does it matter? They are dead now, and for that I shall stay here in this prison until the Revered Mother has decided that I am repentant enough to be let free, or until I die, which is the more likely scenario.”

Meiriana nodded. “You were a soldier? I’m kind of a soldier. I used to be a Dalish Hunter, but now I’m a Grey-Warden.”

“Strange,” Sten said. “You do not look like a Grey-Warden.”

“You don’t look like a Qunari.” It seemed fairly obvious to her at this point that people could be a thing without looking like the thing. Besides, just what exactly was a Grey-Warden supposed to look like anyway?

“Not all Qunari have horns,” Sten said. “I was under the impression that Grey-Wardens are fierce warriors. Clearly that is not that case.”

“Oh, you want Ella then. She’s the fierce warrior,” Meiriana said. She considered what they could do next. It seemed cruel to leave him here in this cage to starve or be eaten by Darkspawn still, she supposed releasing him against the wishes of the Revered Mother might not be the best option. She turned to Kallian for a moment. “I think we should conscript him.”

“What?” Kallian seemed shocked. “Why?”

“Well, he’s big. He’s probably strong. He’s a soldier. We could use him,” Meiriana said. “And from what I understand conscription can be an alternative punishment to crimes, since joining the Grey-Wardens is just as likely to kill you as cold or starvation. That’s how you joined isn’t it? Conscription?”

Kallian nodded. “I don’t see why we need him, but if you want to conscript him you’ll probably have to talk to the Revered Mother, and she might not be so easy to convince.”

Meiriana nodded. That was true, Sten did say that it was the Revered Mother that put him in the cage. “I could pick the lock.”

“You want to conscript him so badly you’d break him out of prison?” Kallian asked. “You’re even braver than I thought.”

“There’s a fine line between brave and stupid,” Morrigan said. “If you want to break the murderer out of jail just to turn him into a Grey-Warden, so be it. I’ll be over here, pretending like I don’t know either of you.”

"Okay," Meiriana said. "Have fun."

Morrigan rolled her eyes but otherwise did not reply.

"Do you not wish to ask the Revered Mother for permission?" Sten asked.

"You're probably going to die either way, either staying here and getting eaten by darkspawn or starving, or by coming with us and fighting. If you'd rather die here in a cage that's your choice. But I would think that as a soldier you'd prefer to die fighting."

"You would be correct,” Sten said.

“Then don’t complain,” Meiriana replied as she knelt in front of the cage and using some tools from her belt worked to pick the lock. She got it open just as Ella and the others rejoined them. 

“So this is where you went,” Ella said. She paused then noticed what Meiriana was doing. "Do I even want to ask?"

"You are aware he is a murderer, no?" Leliana said. "He killed a farmer and his family. The entire family, children too. Or at least that's what the Revered Mother said."

"That is correct," Sten confirmed.

"I'm conscripting him," Meiriana said.

"Can she do that?" Ella asked Alistair.

"Technically yes, I mean... I think? I don't know. I'm not sure if all Grey-Wardens can invoke the Right of Conscription or only Warden-Commanders. I never thought it would come up, so I never asked."

“Well, we’re going to pretend like I can,” Meiriana replied. “Did you get what you need from the Revered Mother?” 

“Yeah, she gave us a little bit of food and the names of some farmers who might be willing to sell us a ram or two,” Ella said.

Meiriana smiled when the lock clicked open and then stepped back. “It’s unlocked.”

Sten nodded and pushed the door open. “Are you sure you wish me to join you?” he asked.

“Nobody deserves to be left in a cage to die. Not with the darkspawn so close,” Meiriana said. “If the Creators, or the Maker, or whoever it is the Qunari believe in, did not want you to be given a chance to be redeemed for your actions, Fluffy would not have led me here.”

“I see,” he said. “Then perhaps we should move on, before the Templars notice what you have done?”

Meiriana looked around but the only Templar she saw was Alistair, and technically he wasn't even  _ still _ a Templar. "Sure, why not?"

They set off out of the village and across a small field toward the highway together though she knew Ella, Alistair, and Leliana had their doubts about the whole situation that she just got them into.

"I think we're doing the right thing," Leliana said. "It isn't right to leave someone to die, no matter the mistakes in their past, without giving them a fighting chance. A chance to redeem themselves. Though I am not sure doing so without talking to the Revered Mother was quite a good idea."

“I’m not sure,” Kallian said. “Talking to the Revered Mother might not be the best idea at all considering that Meiriana isn’t  _ just _ an elf, she’s  _ Dalish _ . A Dalish wanting to release a murderer probably wouldn’t go over so well, even if we tried to convince them that she is doing it as a Grey-Warden. Plus not everyone likes the wardens.” 

Meiriana smiled slightly, though no one was looking at her. She was pleasantly surprised that Leliana agreed with what she had done, and even more surprised that Kallian was defending her reasoning over not going to the Revered Mother.   
They were less than halfway across the field when there was a shout behind them and they all stopped. 

A small group of armed villagers walked very purposefully up to them and the apparent leader of the group pointed his sword at Ella, who mostly seemed confused. “Is it true? You’re the Cousland?”

“Uhh…”

“There’s a bounty on your head, traitor, that could feed all our families for months,” he declared. “Death to the traitor!”

Ella was quick to draw her sword in her own defense, though she tried not to actually hurt any of them. “Maker’s breath, if Arl Howe fucking wants me dead tell him to fucking fight me himself.”

Meiriana decidedly did not join in on the fight. Ella and Alistair seemed to be handling it just fine, there was only five villagers anyway. Maric growled and barked menacingly as did Fluffy. Ella knocked the sword out of the group leader’s hand and he, along with the rest of them scattered back to the village shouting, “the bounty isn’t worth this!” as they went.

After a moment Ella turned to them and just said, “I swear, next time I see Howe, he’s a dead man.”

Meiriana walked over and picked up the sword that the leader had left behind. “Normally I would say there is always a better option than killing someone,” she said. “But he murdered your family, and your friends from what I understand. Plus the servants, who deserve to be avenged just as much as the rest of them.”

Kallian grinned. “Let’s fuck him up!”

Leliana just seemed confused. “Why do they think you’re a traitor?”

“Howe betrayed my father, murdered my family, and since I live I guess is trying to pin it on me in a political move to become Teyrn himself. He’s made a mistake. I don’t understand why people are following him on this,” Ella said. 

Meiriana frowned slightly, unsure how she knew but Ella was definitely lying with that last line.

“He cannot be allowed to get away with that,” Leliana said. “I agree with Meiriana, normally I would not advocate for killing the man, but after what he has done, it seems the most logical punishment.”

After a moment of silence waiting for someone to say something in reply to that, Meiriana kept walking, holding the sword and trying to determine if it would be useful to her despite it being poorly made.

A couple minutes later, Kallian caught up with Meiriana who, like always, was a little ways ahead of the group. "Did you really mean what you said about it being the Maker's will that Fluffy led you there?"

Meiriana shrugged. "If you find it more comforting to think that that is the reason Fluffy led me there, then do so. I trust in the Creators to guide their creations but I know better than to ask why. We can only guess as to what the Creators actually want from us."

"I see... can you tell me about the Creators? My mom used to talk about them, but she never really told me much."

"Your mom?" Meiriana asked.

"She was Dalish before she came to the city. She never said why she left, but I think someone died." Kallian looked down for a moment. "She never taught me about Dalish culture, but she did tell me that before she left she had a child. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to raise it properly without the child's father, so she entrusted it to a friend then she left. She never said what she was hoping to find by leaving. Peace, maybe, or perhaps a new family. She said she regretted not bringing the child with her, but she feared what might happen if it turned out the child was a mage like its father."

Meiriana reached into her bag and pulled out a cookie, which she placed in Kallian's hand. "I don’t know what to say about your mom, so I hope this doesn’t sound rude… Eat the cookie and stop talking so I can tell you about the Creators."

Kallian nodded and took a bite of the cookie.

"The Dalish believe in the Creators, and despite the name the Creators themselves were created by something that came before. The creators are led by Elgar’nan the All-Father and Mythal the protector and All-Mother. Elgar’nan is the god of Fatherhood and Vengeance. Mythal is the goddess of Motherhood, Justice, and Love. 

“Their eldest children are the twin gods Falon’Din and Dirthamen. Falon’Din is the god of death and fortune; he guides the souls of the dead to the Beyond. Dirthamen is the god of secrets and knowledge. Next are Andruil and Sylaise. Andruil is the goddess of the hunt. Sylaise is the hearthkeeper, goddess of all things domestic; she gave us fire, taught us to weave rope and thread, and to use magic and herbs for healing.” 

She paused and looked at Kallian who seemed to be staring into space. "Are you even paying attention," she asked. “Or did you only ask because you wanted to make me talk again?”

"Elgar'nan is king-god, Mythal is his queen. Falon'Din and Dirthamen are the twin princes; Andruil and Sylaise are the princesses," Kallian replied, "To put it into terms I'm more used to dealing with. How many more are there?"

Meiriana tried to hide how shocked she was that Kallian was actually listening to her. “There’s three, though the last one is… weird. June the craftsman is either Sylaise’s husband or her and Andruil’s brother. None of what I’ve heard about the Creators ever seem to agree on that, and none of it ever mentions whether or not Andruil and Sylaise were Elgar’nan and Mythal’s kids too, or if only Dirthamen and Falon’Din are. It would make more sense than not for them to be sisters to the twins. 

“Anyway, June taught us to make bows and arrows and knives to hunt the animals that Andruil gifted us. Ghilan’nain is the Halla mother, she protects the Halla that we use to pull the aravels. And the last one is Fen’Harel, the trickster. His betrayal of the other Creators caused the fall of Arlathan. It is not wise to worship him. We call him the Dread Wolf.”

“I hate to interrupt this really interesting lesson on Dalish religion,” Alistair said, “But we have company.”

Meiriana looked up and noticed some darkspawn on the ramp leading back up onto the highway a few meters in front of them. 

“By the Dread Wolf,” she cursed under her breath. “ _ Again _ ?”    
  



	12. The Merchant and The Campsite

Meiriana picked up one of the darkspawn’s swords. It was rather dull, she noticed. How could these things expect to defeat the surface with such useless weapons? Still, a dull sword was more useful than one that shattered on impact against a shield. She fastened the sword to her belt in the holder that normally held her dagger’s sheath on the left side. She turned and looked at the two dwarves that they had just rescued from the darkspawn but before she could ask if they were alright, the older one spoke up.

“That was excellent work,” he said with a smile. “Thank the nice Grey-Wardens, my boy.”

“Thank you,” the other dwarf said.

“You’re welcome,” Ella replied. “Might we ask your name?”

“The name’s Bodahn, Bodahn Feddic. And this here’s my boy Sandal. Say hello, Sandal,” he replied.

“Hello.”

“You’re the merchant that came through yesterday, no?” Leliana said.

“Indeed I am, you’re the chantry sister who was interested in the bow I have,” he said chipperly. “Are you still interested?”

“For the right price, my Dalish friend is interested, yes,” Leliana said.

“For her, a discount, 20 silver. She did help save our lives,” he replied.

“That’s quite the discount,” Leliana noted. “At least from the price you gave the man in the village yesterday.”

“He didn’t  _ need _ the bow, he just wanted to scare others. Prices can be easily adjusted. I’ll still make a profit of some sort in the end, and I think thanking the woman who helped save my life is a very profitable decision, considering it means I still live,” Bodahn said. “The usual price for this bow is only 60 silver anyways.”

Meiriana pulled the coin purse out of her back and dug through it for a moment before handing it to Leliana and whispering, “I don’t know if I have enough.”

Leliana nodded and counted out the proper amount of coins before handing them over to Bodahn.

Meiriana accepted the bow from him with a smile. It felt really nice to have a bow in her hands again. She walked a little ways away to check it over and see if it needed any adjustments before she could use it. Any new bow always required a brief period of adjustment, but especially one with a higher or lower draw weight than she was used to. After a moment Kallian came over and handed her a bundle of arrows.

“Chantry girl thinks you need these. You  _ can _ make your own, she says, but it would be quicker and easier to have some already available,” Kallian said.

Meiriana nodded. Both those things were true. She stored the arrows on her hip between her belt and her shirt, making a mental note as she did so that she needed to make another quiver. She couldn’t think of anything to say in reply to that, so she didn’t say anything at all. A few moments later, the others joined them and they continued on down the highway. They must have looked like a rather strange band of travelers to anyone who might have passed them. It didn’t matter much, as there weren’t a lot of people on the road.

She found the silence comforting if she were to admit it. It didn’t last long though. Somewhere above them there was the cry of a raven. She stopped dead in her tracks as the cawing got louder. She looked up to see where it was coming from and noticed the others doing the same, well some of them. Sten just looked annoyed and Morrigan seemed kind of bored.

The bird swooped down from the northern sky, landing in front of Meiriana. It had small blue ribbons tied to its legs. Clearly a mark of identification.

“Night?” Meiriana asked.

“Day,” the bird replied.

“Those things can  _ talk!” _ came an answering gasp from Alistair.

“Yes, ravens are very intelligent,” Meiriana said. “What’s the word?”

“Safely moving north. Glad you live. Wish they could see you again. Heading for Sundermount. Should be safe there. I am to stay, with you.”

Meiriana nodded, considering all this. The clan would be moving on to Sundermount, already on their way from the sound of it. This was good news, hopefully the blight could be ended before any significant darkspawn activity began across the Waking Sea. But what exactly would she do with a bird right now? Ella hadn’t said yet whether or not she felt like sending one or more out in search of her family would be a good idea or not. Though given the revelation earlier that Howe somehow managed to put a bounty on Ella’s head, she might make that choice soon.

“So we have a messenger bird now?” Kallian asked.

Meiriana nodded as Night flew up onto her shoulder and tilted its head at Kallian. It cawed once then flew over to Leliana and investigated her, landing on her shoulder and nuzzling against her face for a moment before flitting over and doing the same to a slightly shocked Ella.

“Its very friendly,” Leliana noted.

Night flew to Morrigan who just stared at it like she dared it to try and land on her. It turned and flew back to Meiriana without a sound.

Meiriana nodded. “Both are true. Night is the friendliest of my clan’s messenger birds.”

She looked around for a moment then said, “Does anyone know where we’re going next?”

“Redcliffe,” Alistair said. “When we were in the Chantry, we found one of Arl Eamon’s knights searching for information about the Urn of Sacred Ashes. He told us that Eamon is ill. We need to go there and see if there’s anything we can do to help before we completely rule him out, or he dies. Both would be bad for our chances of defeating the blight.”

Meiriana nodded. She hoped that if they followed the road, Alistair or Ella would eventually tell her which way to turn to make sure they got to Redcliffe. Ahead of them she noticed a small path leading into a small grove of trees, she could smell water.  _ We must be near a lake or pond. _ “Should we find some place to set up a semi-permanent camp,” she suggested. “It would be a lot easier to plan our moves if we had somewhere to plan them from. Plus once we do recruit them mages, dwarves, and Dalish, they’ll likely want to have a representative at our base of operations, it would look pretty… disorganized, if we don’t actually  _ have _ a base of operations.”

“Do you have somewhere in mind?” Alistair asked.

“Right there.” She pointed to the grove of trees. “Trees mean shelter from rain plus wood for making fires, and I can smell water, so there must be a lake or pond nearby, which means clean water, fish,  _ and _ a place to bathe. Trees also mean small animals, which can make for good quick eating.”

Ella nodded then added, “Trees also make for a good place to secure horses probably. It’s  _ possible _ we might be able to convince Arl Eamon to lend us a few horses to make traveling easier, and therefore make ending the blight quickly more feasible. Also it’s only about sixty meters away from where the road splits to head north around Lake Calenhad, South to Ostagar, East to Denerim and West to Redcliffe. A central location like this would make traveling easier as well.”

“I’ve never ridden a horse before,” Meiriana mused. “I wonder if it’s anything like riding a halla.”

“Then we’ll take a look at that place and set up camp there,” Alistair said.

Meiriana nodded. “Once we’ve set up camp it would be wise if there was at least one person at the camp always to deter thieves and such. I think Sten would do well as a guard while some of us go to Redcliffe.”

“Would I not be more useful with the group?” Sten asked.

“Smaller groups travel quicker,” Meiriana replied.

“Then I vote that Morrigan and Kallian  _ also _ stay behind,” Alistair said. “The people of Redcliffe wouldn’t be too happy with us for bringing an apostate into their village. We don’t need to make enemies of the villagers before we can even  _ try _ to make friends with them.”

“And why should  _ I _ stay?” Kallian asked.

“Do you just expect Morrigan and Sten to fight off any darkspawn that show up,  _ without _ a Grey-Warden?” Alistair asked.

“Then why don’t you leave Meiriana here too,” Kallian asked.

“Good idea,” Alistair said.

“Wait,” Leliana said. “We could use her. Her logic might be… different than what you are used to, but that could prove incredibly useful. Especially if this Loghain does decide to declare Grey-Wardens to be outlaws.”

Meiriana nodded, though she didn’t say anything. She wasn’t exactly sure what Leliana was talking about.  _ Isn’t ‘my’ logic just logic? _

“I’m inclined to agree on that point,” Ella said. “Having Meiriana with us could prove useful. She’s a talented archer, and should anything go wrong she  _ does _ have a messenger bird. Though on that note, I’d suggest leaving one of the dogs to help guard the camp.”

“Shouldn’t we actually make the camp?” Morrigan suggested. “I do hope you’re also planning on getting some tents at some point.”

“We were planning on buying them in Redcliffe since the merchant in Lothering had sold all of his to the refugees,” Alistair said.

Meiriana sighed slightly as she walked a little ahead of the group. She had hoped maybe they shouldn’t have to sleep in the open air again tonight, but still, eventual tents were better than no tents at all. “Did you at least get the bedrolls?”

“Yes,” Alistair said. “and a fire striker.”

Meiriana narrowed her eyes slightly, but since she wasn’t looking at Alistair he didn’t see that. There are plenty of ways to start a fire without some special tool. It wouldn’t matter much if she said anything about that though, since he’d already bought it. Maybe it would be useful for him. Just because she could do it without a tool, didn’t mean everyone could. Especially those not raised by a group that actually  _ respects _ and  _ trusts _ mages enough to teach  _ all _ children how to use a little bit of magic. She got to the grove of trees and followed the path into it, noting as she did that the path was just wide enough for a merchant’s cart to pass with a little room on the sides.

Inside the grove of trees, which was actually bigger than she’d first thought, there was a wide open area of fairly flat land covered in soft grass. To the her left there was a little slightly worn animal path over to some water. She wasn’t sure if it was part of the lake Ella had mentioned or if it was part of a pond, but what was important was that there was water. This was the perfect place for a base camp. There was enough room that  _ if _ some of their future allies sent them representatives, they’d have space enough for them. Night hopped off her shoulder and flew around the clearing, opting to land in a nearby tree and watch.

The others were fairly quick to join her, and then they began setting up a small camp. Morrigan chose again to situate herself away from the group, she even set up her own little area for a campfire. Meiriana watched that with interest, she had expected Morrigan to just leave them after they got out of the wilds. She couldn’t quite understand why she was still there. She shrugged it off and noticed that Leliana and Ella had set up a small section not quite at the center, but close to it. For the moment, that section was just a circle on the ground and some rocks indicating something. Curiosity got the best of her and she walked over to see what they were doing.

“It’s where the fire will be,” Leliana said. “The rocks are where we will find… something to use as chairs.”

Meiriana nodded. That of course made sense, it always felt better to sit in a chair or on a stump near the fire than to sit on the ground near the fire. “I think I’m going to go hunting,” she said.

“Wait,” Leliana said. “I have an idea, this grove of trees is near to a family I know. Let Ella and I go there first, and see if they’ll sell us a ram.”

“Then what should I do?” Meiriana asked.

“I am not sure,” Leliana replied quietly.

“You probably know the things you need to do better than any of us could,” Ella said. “Maybe talk to that man you broke out of prison, see if her needs anything special?”

“Right, good idea,” Meiriana said. “I'll talk to Sten.” She nodded, set her new bow down next to one of the rocks, and walked over to Sten who was standing not quite away from the group but definitely not as part of it either.  “Hello.”

He didn't acknowledge her at first but after a couple moments he said, “What do you want?”

“I was just wondering if you needed anything?” she said carefully.

“I don't,” he said simply. The seemed to think for a moment and said, “Unless you'd like to give me another… what did you call them?”

“Cookies? You want another cookie,” Meiriana said smiling. “I can absolutely give you another cookie.” She reached in her bag and pulled out two cookies. “In fact I can give you two cookies.”

He nodded curtly. “Thank you.”

She smiled again and handed him the cookies. “You probably also need a weapon, yes? Like a sword?”

“That would be correct,” Sten replied.

Meiriana nodded and unfastened the darkspawn sword from her belt and handed it to him. “You can have this one until I find you a better one.  _ Ir abelas, _ it feels bad to give you a dull sword, but it’s the only one I have.”

“It is better than none,” Sten said.

“I guess that’s true. I’m sure when I’m in Redcliffe I will be able to find you a better sword, or at least some way to sharpen this one,” she said. “Do you need anything else?”

“No.”

She nodded. “Enjoy the cookies.” She felt like if he were talking to Ella or Kallian or even Alistair, they’d find his curtness rude, but honestly she found it nice that there was at least one person here who wanted to talk seemingly less than she did.

As she walked away from him, she noticed that Ella and Leliana had left. She  _ also _ noticed the sound of something coming down the path that led to the clearing.  _ I swear if that’s more darkspawn— _ her thoughts were interrupted by the faint sound of a voice.

“Don’t poke the snake, my boy, just leave it be. It isn’t going to hurt anyone.”

She recognized that voice to be the voice of the merchant Leliana had bought the bow from.  _ What’s he want? _

A few minutes later he arrived in the clearing with his cart and his son. Meiriana walked over to greet him.

“I hope you don’t mind if we camp here too,” he said. “The Chantry sister and the lady warrior offered to let us camp here. We’d be honored to handle supplying the Grey-Wardens. We have a fine selection of goods, including tents if you’d be interested in that.”

“It’s probably better if you tell this to Alistair, he’s better with money than me,” Meiriana said with a smile as she turned and called Alistair over to talk to him instead. As Alistair walked over, she turned her attention more to Sandal. “What can  _ you _ offer me?” she asked him, mostly just to see what he’d say.

“Enchantment!” he said excitedly.

“Enchantment?” she tried to remember if they’d hand any enchanted items in their camp before. Only one came to mind, a sword that Ilen had had for a while, enchanted with a rune that caused it to burn with a bright flame. “Enchantment sounds like a wonderful thing to offer. Are you good at it?”

“Enchantment!” he said even more excitedly.

She smiled. “When I have something that I need enchanted I’ll be sure to bring it to you.”

He smiled.

Once Alistair had negotiated a price for the tents, Bodahn turned to Meiriana and Sandal. “Did you make a new friend, Sandal?” he asked.

“Enchantment!” Sandal replied clapping his hands together.

“Wonderful, my boy,” Bodahn said with a smile. “My boy does fine work. He’s a whiz at enchanting things, one of the Tranquil even called him… what was it… a savant. Yeah that’s the word.”

“Savant?” Meiriana asked, her brow slightly furrowed in concentration. She’d never heard the word before.

“I’m not quite sure what it means,” Bodahn admitted, “but it didn’t seem to be an insult, in fact they asked if he could stay and work with them. But no, my boy and I stick together. It would feel wrong to leave him somewhere that I’m not, for too long.”

Meiriana nodded. She could understand not wanting to leave someone alone in a strange place for too long. Tamlen had often told her he didn’t like leaving her alone on their hunts for very long. It never bothered her. It just meant that he cared. Bodahn, in this case, must care a lot about his son. “I’m glad you care so much about your son. He’s lucky to have you.”

Bodahn smiled, then said, “You must have had someone who cared about you like that too, right?”

She blinked and nodded slowly. “Yes, but he’s gone now… it’s okay though, I’m sure my new friends care about me too. Even if not in the same exact way.”

“Ah, don’t worry much about that, my girl, I’m sure one of them cares about you a lot,” he said. “Here, hold on a moment, I might have something that would interest you.” She waited for a moment as he climbed up into his cart and searched for something. After a moment he came back out with a small pair of leather gloves. He handed them over to her.

She inspected them carefully, they were deerskin, a little thicker in the index and middle fingers, and lined with incredibly soft fur. “These are Dalish gloves,” she said shocked. “Where did you get them?”

“A while back, a Dalish craftsman traded me several items in order to have Sandal enchant something for him,” he replied. “These were one of them, same with that bow I sold you. The other items have been sold already, but since those were rather small for most people they didn’t. I tried to keep them in nice condition though.”

She tried the gloves on carefully, afraid they would be too big but they weren’t. She stretched her fingers and clenched them too. The leather was versatile still and did not crack even a little, and the fur lining made them incredibly warm too. They were perfect. “I love them. They fit perfectly.”

“Then they’re yours,” he said with a smile.

She gasped slightly and shook her head. “I can’t just let you give them to me.”

“I’m not losing anything by giving them to you, my girl, please think of it as a gift,” he said.

“I don’t know what to say other than,  _ ‘Ma serannas _ .” She paused a moment, trying to remember what that concept was in common. “Thank you,” she said again after a moment.

“Not a problem at all,” he said with a smile. “If you’ll excuse us, Sandal and I are going to set up the cart over here,” he gestured vaguely near the water but not actually in front of it, “and then we’ll get the tents out of the cart so you Grey-Wardens can finish setting up your camp.”

Meiriana nodded and walked away. She wasn’t quite sure what to do next. She did still need to make a new quiver and there was still a lot of work to be done setting up the camp, though most of it was fairly useless without tents. Eventually she settled for gathering up dry sticks at the edge of the tree line so she could make a fire.

After a while, Alistair called for her. “Hey, Meiriana come help me set up these tents, will you? It’s a bit difficult with needing to set up six tents and only three people working on them.”

She almost asked why they need six tents then she remembered that Sten, Morrigan, Alistair, and Kallian probably all wanted or needed their own tent. She didn’t see why she couldn’t share with Ella or Leliana but it was probably best that they all have their own tents. “We need seven tents,” she decided. “One’s for storage of dry foods.”

“Well, we can’t set up all of them alone, no matter how many we set up, come help,” he replied.

She nodded and walked over, putting the sticks in a pile next to the circle that the fire would be made in, then helping Alistair by holding up the wooden poles of the tent while he secured them down. They did this with each tent, setting up the frame in a location they hoped would be nice for someone to take. Sten wanted his further away from the fire and was working on setting it up alone. Morrigan had taken hers to the little area she’d claimed for herself and Meiriana marked out and helped set up Ella and Leliana’s tents right next to each other, perpendicular to where Alistair had put his tent. She set up her own tent slightly behind the others, far enough back that if she got too cold she could light her own little fire without disturbing any of the others, but close enough that if something were to go wrong, or she were to want them for some reason it wouldn’t be all that difficult for her to accomplish getting them. Kallian decided to set up her tent further back in the clearing. Meiriana didn’t bother to question why.

It was a while yet before Ella and Leliana returned, but Meiriana and Alistair were still working on setting up the tents when they did. They were covering them with the cloth and working out whether or not it would be worth the time to try and build ‘beds’ for the bedrolls to lay on so they wouldn’t be on the ground.

“Who knows how long we’ll be camped out here, it’s arguably more comfortable to spend months or years on a terrible bed than on the cold hard ground,” Alistair argued.

“I’ve spent most of my life sleeping on the ‘cold hard ground’ if I can get used to it why can’t you?” Meiriana argued back.

“ _ So have I, _ ” was Alistair’s reply. “Just because you or I am used to it, doesn’t mean any of the others are, or that it’s ideal. Besides, I’d rather like to sleep in a bed at least once.”

Meiriana nodded. “I’m sorry,” she said, though she wasn’t sure why. She just knew that something about the way Alistair had said that implied that the reason for it wasn’t of his own volition. It wasn’t right.

“You don’t need to apologize to me,” Alistair said. “Sleeping on the ground can be fun.”

“No, I… I do need to apologize to you, what I said upset you and I didn’t mean it to,” she replied.

Alistair looked down for a moment, as though unused to being on the receiving end of a sincere apology. When he looked back up he smiled. “Does this make us even for me accidentally hurting you?”

“You didn’t hurt me. I… I panicked, but it wasn’t like you knew… that doing that would make me panic,” Meiriana said.

Alistair nodded. He got up for a moment and walked over to his tent and dug through the bag of stuff he’d bought from the merchant and pulled out a bottle. As he walked back over he said, “Here. I got this for you, in case your throat started hurting again… Well actually it wasn’t my idea, it was Ella’s.”

At the mention of her name Ella finally spoke up. “We have  _ two _ rams,” she said. She and Leliana walked over, having secured the rams at the edge of the camp, hoping they wouldn’t try to make a run for it.

Meiriana accepted the bottle of liquid from Alistair. When she opened it she noted that it smelled faintly of honey. She was almost shocked when she took a swallow of it and it burned slightly before the honey coated her throat and made it all better. “What’s in this?”

“You ask that  _ after _ you already drank some,” Ella said. “Rum. Rum and honey.” She sat down next to Meiriana. “Who’s going to tell us which tents we are sleeping in?”

Meiriana motioned vaguely to the tents behind her. “Those two next to each other. Pick a side and the other gets the other.” She raised the bottle to take another drink.

Leliana quickly reached out a hand and stopped Meiriana from taking another drink of the mixture in the bottle. “I do not think it is wise to drink too much of that at once.”

“What could possibly go wrong?” Meiriana asked.

“For starters. I’m touching your hand and you’re not freaked out,” Leliana said.

“Juss because I panicked when Alistair grabbed my arm doesn’t mean I panic whenever anyone touches any part of me. I  _ like _ holding hands, and shoulder massages,” Meiriana pointed out.

“I would be very disappointed in you if you drank more than you needed to,” Leliana said.

Meiriana frowned. “But—“

“No buts,” Leliana said. “Only disappointment.”

Meiriana pouted.

“No,” Leliana said. “That won’t work on me.”

She pouted more.

Leliana sighed slightly frustrated. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Meiriana tilted her head. She wasn’t sure what Leliana meant. She was thirsty and she wanted a drink, was that bad? “Yes?”

Leliana nodded slightly then looked to Ella. “You bought more than just this drink, no?”

“We have two other bottles of Rum and a bottle of ale,” Ella said. “Alcohol is good for many things, not just drinking.”

Meiriana had the feeling that someone had taught Ella that.

Leliana nodded and stood up taking Ella with her over to the bag of stuff that had been bought at the Lothering merchant.

Out of sheer boredom, Meiriana laid back on the ground and stared up at the clouds in the sky. Fluffy came over and laid down beside her, whining gently. She reached out and pet Fluffy’s head gently. She didn’t want Fluffy to be sad for her. She didn’t think there was any reason to be sad at all. Fluffy whined more and put her head against Meiriana’s shoulder, pressing herself into Meiriana’s side like she was afraid her elf would disappear if left alone too long. Fluffy didn’t need to worry so much, Meiriana thought, she wasn’t alone at all. She had Alistair and Kallian, even if Kallian’s main actions right now were just poking at the sticks in the fire circle.

Fluffy whined.

“What’s wrong?” she finally asked.

Fluffy whined more then looked over to the rams at the edge of the camp.

Meiriana sat up and looked where Fluffy was looking. “Oh. You’re hungry. I’m hungry too.”

Alistair nodded. “We’re probably all hungry. Do you know how to kill and clean a ram?”

Meiriana shook her head. “Not a ram no, it could be similar to cleaning a deer, but it’s probably not. I’ve never had a ram to clean before. They seem… fluffy.”

“It’s wool,” Alistair said. “It’s okay that there’s something you don’t know.”

Meiriana frowned but didn’t respond otherwise as Alistair got up and walked over to Ella and Leliana. She sat in silence for a moment, then turned and looked at Kallian still poking the sticks and firewood. “Do you need help?”

“Yes,” Kallian said in frustration. “I tried everything I know and they won’t light.”

“Did you try Alistair’s fire striker thing?” Meiriana asked.

“I don’t know how it works,” Kallian whined. She looked at the sticks, then at Meiriana. “You said starting fires is something you’re good at. Show me how.”

Meiriana shrugged and scooted a little closer to the sticks, moving her bow away from them before concentrating on what she wanted to do. “Get your hand away from them,” she said. When Kallian pulled her hand back Meiriana nodded and focused on the sticks, it was harder outside the Brecilian Forest, in a place where the beyond—the Fade—didn’t bleed into the real, but she did it. Snapping her fingers one then a small spark caught on one of the sticks and soon an actual fire was burning there before their eyes.

“You  _ are  _ a mage!” Kallian gasped.


	13. Friends, Flirt Rounds, and Flower Crowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is both late and unbeta'd first the holidays happened, then I got really really sick. I'm sorry, sometimes life gets in the way. I hope how gay it is makes up for that.

Meiriana sighed, she couldn't quite think of an argument, Kallian would approve of. "No I'm not," she said. 

"You just did magic, but you're  _not a mage?_ " Kallian glared.

“All Dalish children, at least in my clan, were taught how to use a little bit of magic,” Meiriana said. “Magic is a gift from the Creators, in the past _all_ Elves possessed magic. To treat it like anything less than a gift that is as natural a part of life as your eyes or hair or the fact that you breathe is an affront to not only the creators, but also to the Maker since believe it or not, I _did_ ask the Chantry sisters at Ostagar what they thought about the mages and one of them actually told me about what the Chant of Light says—“

At that moment Leliana spoke up from behind Meiriana, “Magic is a gift though it’s unclear who actually created it, though if you’re Andrastian then you believe the Maker created everything in this world—including magic. The quote Meiriana was probably told is Transfigurations 1:2, or at least the first line of it. ‘Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him.’”

“Magic was given to those ancient Tevinter guys by demons,” Kallian said. “The Chant says so in Threnodies 5:11, ‘Those who had been cast down, the demons who would be gods, began to whisper to men from their tombs within the earth. And the men of Tevinter heard and raised altars to the pretender-gods once more, and in return were given, in hushed whispers, the secrets of darkest magic.’”

Leliana was silent for a moment then simply asked, “Why are we arguing about who gave whom magic anyway?”

“Meiriana claims she isn’t a mage but she used magic to start the fire,” Kallian said.

“I see,” Leliana said quietly. “Meiriana do you really believe you’re not a mage?”

“I am not a mage,” Meiriana insisted. “I just can’t be, if I was then I would have been apprenticed to the Keeper, not trained as a hunter. That’s just how it works. I am _not_ a mage.”

“Perhaps the Dalish do things differently, Kallian,” Leliana said. “Just because the Chantry views mages one way doesn’t necessarily mean it is the only way or than any other way is necessarily wrong. Perhaps for the Dalish, they are only considered mages if they have a certain amount of talent. Is that right?”

“For the most part, yes,” Meiriana said. “I mean… Like I said in my clan _all_ children are taught to use whatever magic they can and only those who grow to do more can be apprenticed to the Keeper. The last person like that in my clan was Marethari, the Keeper, which is why when she was ready to take on an apprentice another clan gave us one of their mage children. And that’s another thing, we don’t call mages ‘mages’ either. We have other words for them. There are no words for me except _Ghi'myelan_. Which means hunter.”

Leliana considered this, or at least it looked to Meiriana like she was considering it. Then she simply said, “I thought the Dalish liked to keep information about their culture hidden and secret.”

“My father was a firm believer that we need to share our culture with humans to a certain extent. He believed doing so would help them better understand us, and be less afraid of us. Still there are things we—I—simply won’t tell. Some information is sacred,” Meiriana said. She leaned back slightly, resting against Leliana’s legs. “You know, not to change the subject, but you’re kind of really pretty.”

Kallian groaned slightly and walked away from the fire, and them. She seemed annoyed that Meiriana was still firmly stating that she is not a mage, and wouldn’t change that statement.

Leliana smiled. “You’re pretty too.”

Meiriana smiled a little. She hadn’t been called pretty in a while and she actually wasn’t sure what the proper response was. Perhaps she’d figure it out in time. “I’m glad that you came with us,” she said after a moment of silence. “I don’t know what it is about you, but something about you I really like.”

Leliana made a small pleased slightly humming noise, before she sat down. She didn’t say anything in response to that though. When Leliana sat down, Meiriana fell back slightly now leaning against her chest instead of her legs, but for some reason she didn’t feel like correcting this. If Leliana was uncomfortable with it, she didn’t give any indication.

“What’s a minstrel,” Meiriana asked. “I know you said you sing, but what’s a minstrel and what’s a bard? What’s the difference?”

“In most places there isn’t one. In Orlais, bards are trained differently, to do a different task. Both are singers and story tellers, bards are just also capable of… other tasks,” Leliana said.

Meiriana smiled and excitedly said, “Could you tell me a story? I love stories.”

“Perhaps later,” Leliana said. “I love sharing stories, but Ella is here with something for you, if you haven’t noticed.”

Meiriana looked around and then spotted Ella sitting down next to her. _Why didn’t I notice her? That’s not like me._ She tilted her head slightly, the act of which made her a little dizzy. _Hmm… perhaps the rum and honey wasn’t the best idea, but at least my throat doesn’t hurt anymore._ Ella held out a bottle for her which she took. “What is…”

“Wine,” Ella said quickly.

“Where did you get wine?” Meiriana asked, scrutinizing the bottle. She opened and sniffed it. _This is water, either she wants me to think it’s wine because they don’t actually want me to drink any more alcohol, or someone scammed her._

“I bought it from Bodahn,” Ella said.

 _A lie. So she does just want me not to drink alcohol. That’s probably for the best. Should I call her out on it or…?_ She smiled at Ella and took a drink from the bottle, wincing slightly at just how cold the water was. She hadn’t been expecting it to be so cold.

“How is it?” Leliana asked.

“Cold,” Meiriana said. After a moment she had a thought. _Leliana specified a moment ago that in Orlais bards are different from minstrels! Maybe that’s where her accent is from!_ “Leliana are you from Orlais?”

“I like to consider myself Ferelden actually,” Leliana said.

Meiriana noticed Ella raise a brow at that, but Leliana seemingly did not as she continued.

“My mother, Oisine, was Ferelden. She and I followed Lady Cecilie back to Orlais when I was very young, after Ferelden won the rebellion.”

Ella nodded. “Just _how_ young? Because Ferelden won the rebellion nearly 30 years ago.”

Leliana paused to consider this… “I think I was… maybe two? My mother died a couple years later, and Lady Cecilie raised me after that. I don’t remember a lot about my mother actually, just this image of her in a garden surrounded by orange and lavender blossoms, and the smell of her dress.”

“Okay so… that makes you what… like…” Ella closed her eyes and seemed to be doing math in her head and on her fingers. “Twenty-eight?”

“Twenty-six, actually, if Lady Cecilie celebrated my namedays correctly,” Leliana said. “I came back to Ferelden five years ago.”

“How exactly did someone like you end up in the Chantry anyway?” Ella asked.

“What is meant by ‘someone like me’?” Leliana replied.

“You know, a beautiful charming woman such as yourself,” Ella said.

Meiriana felt Leliana’s chuckle as much as she heard it. She looked over at Ella, unsure why but she sort of felt like she was intruding by being here, but she didn’t want to leave either. She thought that if Ella wanted her gone, she’d see it on her face. But there was nothing there except… she wasn’t actually sure. She was smiling though.

“And there are no beautiful charming women in the cloister?” Leliana asked. “Oh, but you’d be wrong. There are many lovely young initiates in the Lothering cloister, all of them chaste and virtuous. Ah, it added to their mystique. Because it meant they were forbidden, and forbidden fruit is sweeter, no?”

Ella smirked and then asked, “What about your fruit? Is it also forbidden?”

Meiriana felt Leliana’s breath catch for a moment behind her and she almost moved away, afraid that she was making it harder for Leliana to breathe by leaning against her chest, but Leliana stilled her by gently running her fingers through her hair. If Meiriana was a cat she would have purred.

“My fruit? Oh… well… no. I did not take the vows, I was only a lay-sister,” Leliana said.

“I’m confused,” Meiriana said. “What fruit?”

Leliana and Ella were both silent for a moment before Leliana quickly changed the subject. “Meiriana, can you tell me about why you smell like Andraste’s Grace?”

Meiriana nodded carefully, not wanting Leliana to stop playing with her hair. “I find the scent really calming and it makes me happy, so when I was little I learned how to make scented soap. A few years after that when Merrill came to our clan she taught me how to weave the sent into my clothes magically as we made them. She helped me weave it into my armor too.” Meiriana paused for a moment then added, “I never thought I’d meet another girl as pretty as Merrill, but you and Ella, you’re both very very pretty. And you have such pretty hair. Can you teach me to braid my hair?”

“I’m afraid your hair isn’t long enough for a braid, Meiriana, but I like your hair just the way it is. Simple and practical. Not like the elaborate hairstyles of Orlais,” Leliana said. “They usually involve ribbons and bows sometimes lace one year it was feathers—“

Before she could finish Alistair interrupted her, and Meiriana practically whined. She wanted to hear the story!

“I hope you don’t mind, but I kind of need to use the fire to cook the ram, unless one of you would rather cook it instead,” he said.

“Can’t you cook it from the other side of the fire?” Ella asked. “Meiriana is comfortable.”

“I can, but I thought to myself, ‘hey maybe they don’t want to be next to the fire while I’m cooking in case the fat from the ram meat drips onto the fire and causes it to pop. I wouldn’t want them to get burned,’” Alistair said.

Meiriana pouted but sat up anyway. Ella and Leliana sighed and reluctantly moved away from the fire too. Meiriana went to her tent. She was almost surprised that Ella and Leliana didn’t follow her there, but she needed to think.

Ella and Leliana were nice, she could admit to that. But listening to them talk made her happy in some way that she hadn’t been expecting. _What would Merrill tell me if she were here?_ Tamlen, certainly, would tell her to be wary that even seemingly nice humans couldn’t be trusted, but she didn’t feel any malice from Ella or Leliana. She hadn’t really felt much of anything from either of them, at least not directed at her. Though if she talked like this to anyone other than herself they’d probably call her crazy. Still, Ella had at least seemed genuinely concerned about the fact that moving would have meant that she wouldn’t be comfortable anymore.

She shook her head slightly and pulled out her journal, writing all these thoughts down. Hoping maybe that would help some, but all it really did was make her miss Merrill more. Merrill, sweet Merrill, would probably have told her that she was overreacting, or possibly worse would have told her to just tell them she likes them. The way she’d done when she’d told her that she liked Tamlen. It wasn’t that simple. Not this time. She sighed, it wasn’t like it was ever easy. She’d told Tamlen once but she was pretty sure that he had misunderstood. _What if they don’t understand?_

After a few moments writing in the journal she stopped and put it away. She could write more later. For now, she’d promised Leliana a flower crown. Those _always_ cheered her up. She pulled the Andraste’s Grace out of her herb pouch, surprised the flowers had held up so well over the last few days. The process of bending the stems together, manipulating them so the crown would hold, was all very relaxing. Especially given the type of flowers she was working with. When she was done she left her tent, holding the finished crown behind her.

She found Ella and Leliana sitting in front of their tents with a bottle of… something that they were sharing. She quietly walked over, though she honestly felt like she was definitely interrupting their moment now, and she gently placed the flower crown on Leliana’s head before quickly walking away. It didn’t feel right to her, to interrupt them. The fact that she probably had made her incredibly sad. When she left them back there she wasn’t exactly sure where she wanted to go.

Instead of actually going anywhere she was stopped not far away from them by both Fluffy and Night intercepting her. They seemed upset that she was walking away from her friends when they were trying to talk to her. She tried to just walk around them but they wouldn’t let her. Fluffy whined and pushed against her until she fell backwards… into Ella’s arms.

“Hey now, Fluffy, don’t do that,” Ella said. “If I’d been just a little further back you could have hurt her.”

Fluffy whimpered.

“Meiriana, what’s wrong?” Ella asked.

Meiriana didn’t say anything. How could she tell Ella she felt like she’d just ruined a moment between her and Leliana?

“Did something I say upset you?” Ella asked.

Meiriana shook her head.

“Did something Leliana said upset you?”

She shook her head more. Everything they’d said had made her really happy. How could they think they’d upset her?

Ella didn’t say anything for a moment. When she spoke it was quietly. “Did you think you were interrupting us?”

Meiriana whined a little and nodded. She hadn’t wanted to say it at all. _What if she’s mad at me for that._

“You weren’t interrupting, we were waiting for you, and talking about shoes,” Ella said.

“Shoes?” Meiriana tilted her head.

“You don’t have any and we think you need some,” Ella said. “Also I… I have something I’d like to ask you. Night being here with you right now reminded me. I’d… I’d like to ask if you could send Night to figure out which one of my sisters Arl Howe has. The only reason I can think of that he’d be able to pin the whole thing on me successfully, is if either Clarissa or Kuvira is with him for some reason. I don’t want to send them a message, I just want to know which is there.”

Meiriana nodded. “Night needs to know what they look like.”

“Kuvira looks like me for the most part, but she’s got black hair and her eyes have a slightly greenish tint to their brown. She’s shy… that doesn’t help. She has a scar on her lip and usually has at least one bruise from climbing things she isn’t supposed to. Clarissa… looks every bit like you’d expect a noble to. She’s… she looks like our mom.” Ella shook her head for a moment, probably trying not to cry.  “She’s blonde, and keeps her hair in a neat ponytail. Her eyes are lighter brown than mine and her make-up is usually flawless. _She_ is usually flawless.”

Meiriana tried to make some kind of comforting noise or gesture but Night cawed indignantly to let her know that she was being distracting, at least from its point of view.

“The best bet would be look to for them… maybe in Amaranthine or Denerim, or… I think, Vigil’s Keep is the Howe’s actual home. That’s all way up north,” Ella said.

Night bobbed its head in a nod. “North. Find the sisters.” Then Night flew away.

“Are you okay?” Meiriana asked.

Ella nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

Meiriana pushed herself to standing up. “Let’s go back to Leliana,” she offered. “I want to help, but I don’t know how.”

Ella nodded and gently took Meiriana’s hand. “Leliana is worried that she upset you.”

Meiriana frowned, though she knew Ella was just trying to keep the subject off herself, and when they were back with Leliana she sat down in front of Leliana again. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said.

“Are you sure?” Leliana asked. “If I did, then I need to apologize.”

“I’m sure. It’s nothing… I just thought I was interrupting something is all,” Meiriana said.

“No, not interrupting at all,” Leliana said. “We were just talking about shoes and clothes. I was thinking that it might be nice if you had a nice pair of shoes that you could wear inside the villages and cities. Humans are not exactly known for being careful, and there may be glass. I’d hate for you to end up with a cut on your foot.”

“I don’t like shoes,” Meiriana said. “This might sound stupid to a human but they make my feet feel trapped.”

“Well… I’m not sure what we can do about that,” Leliana said.

“Kuvira… was the same way when she was really little,” Ella said. “She saw that the servants didn’t _have_ to wear shoes all the time and so she decided that just because her shoes hurt her feet, she shouldn’t have to wear them either. We only found out later that her shoes hurt because she’d be given the wrong size. Maybe you just need some shoes that are made for you… maybe… I don’t know. Maybe soft shoes that will let you feel the ground under your feet but protect you from things that might be on the ground like bugs or glass.”

“Oooh, if we’re going to get her shoes, maybe we can also get her some nice clothes,” Leliana said.

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” Meiriana asked indignantly. She rather liked her simple clothes and the designs on them were special, signifying her role as a keeper’s child.

“There’s nothing wrong with them,” Leliana said. “I was just thinking it might be nice to see you all dressed up one day. Some nice fancy clothes, maybe even a ribbon.”

“What like some kind of pet?” Meiriana asked.

“I just mean, the people I used to know gave their servants really nice clothes and—“

“So an elf should be happy to be dressed up and paraded around like a fancy pet?” Meiriana asked. She didn’t know exactly why this made her so angry, but it did. Though it was possible some of the anger was from knowing that Kallian, if she heard, would react far worse.

“That isn’t at all what I meant… I’m sorry, forgive me my words were clumsily chosen,” Leliana said.

“You would do well to try to remember that yes, I am an elf, but I’m also and foremost a person,” Meiriana said.

“I see,” Leliana said. “You have given me a lot to think about… and I really am sorry that my words offended you, I didn’t mean to. Can I make it up to you?”

Meiriana closed her eyes for a moment to think then simply said, “When you can bring this up again, and explain what you mean in a way that doesn’t make me feel like you think of me as an exotic pet, then you will have made it up to me, and to Kallian.”

Leliana nodded. After a moment of thought she said, “I really like the flower crown, Meiriana and I don’t know how to properly thank you for it.”

“It’s a gift, I don’t need a thanks,” Meiriana said with a smile.

“I feel like I should thank you though, especially since I just unintentionally offended you,” Leliana said. “You said you like stories?”

“I do like stories,” Meiriana said. “But it’s getting late and Alistair should almost be done with cooking the ram and we haven’t eaten anything all day. Will you tell me a story on the way to Redcliffe?”

“Absolutely,” Leliana said.

At that moment Alistair made it known that the ram was finished cooking, by saying, “No. Bad dogs, just because it’s done doesn’t mean you get some right away. The last thing I want to deal with is Mabaris that have burnt their tongues.”

Meiriana and Ella both laughed and went to help him with the dogs.


	14. Seven Rams, a Dwarf, and a Mabari Cross The Road...

It was late, dark, and cold when Meiriana woke up. She sat up and stretched. _Why am I awake?_ She asked herself. There wasn’t an answer. At least not that she was aware of. Still, she was awake. She could probably try going back to sleep but what would be the point honestly, she’d probably just have to get up again soon anyway. Alistair wanted to leave for Redcliffe in the early morning, slightly before the sun started to rise. She didn’t see the point, but he claimed it would let them travel longer. She couldn’t argue with that. Certainly, it would mean even fewer people were out and about.

She sighed and got up deciding to get out of her tent and see if anyone else was awake. The night air was cold against her skin without the added layer of her leather armor. She'd taken most of her armor off in order to sleep more comfortable, she'd opted to keep the gloves though. Fluffy looked up at her lazily as she passed by on the way out of the tent.

"It's okay girl," she said. "I'm just going to get some air."

Fluffy apparently didn't feel the need to argue, as she just laid her head back down at such a way that she could watch carefully as Meiriana made her way over to the fire in the center of camp.

Meiriana was honestly surprised that the fire was still going, but then, whoever was on watch probably didn't want to be cold. As she walked over to it, she noticed a sound she hadn't heard in a long time. Humming. Someone was humming.

Leliana was humming, it turned out when Meiriana passed in front of the other tents and could finally see who was sitting by the fire. Neither of them spoke as Meiriana walked over to her.

Meiriana sat down next to Leliana and leaned against her gently. Leliana had jumped slightly, but otherwise made no move to tell Meiriana to be or sit anywhere else. Neither of them spoke for a while. Leliana continued her humming until Meiriana asked, "Was your mother an elf?"

The question seemed to give Leliana quite a bit of pause and Meiriana almost apologized for asking it before she replied, "I don't really remember, but I think she was, or part elf? She died when I was four. I barely remember much about her... except she smelled like you do."

Meiriana tilted her head. "She smelled like me?"

Leliana nodded. "Yes. She smelled like Andraste's Grace, because she kept the dried petals of Andraste's Grace amongst her clothes."

"Oh, I see," Meiriana replied. "I'm glad that you like the way I smell."

Meiriana saw Leliana's lip quirk into a small smile for a moment before she replied, "I'm glad you do not find it weird."

Meiriana chuckled, then reached into Tamlen's pouch on her belt and pulled out the few remaining berries that were in it. She sniffed them then stared at them sadly, they weren't good to eat anymore. She whispered a soft prayer in elven asking Tamlen to forgive her for letting his pouch go empty. When that was done she gently tossed the berries onto the fire.

After a moment Leliana said, "I feel like there was something more there than just some shriveled berries. Do you want to talk about it?"

Meiriana shook her head, still leaning against Leliana. It wasn't something she quite felt ready to share with someone. At least not currently. She couldn't quite remember if she'd told Ella. In fact, it was weird but she couldn't quite remember much of anything from being in Ostagar before the joining. Maybe that was for the best.

They lingered in silence for a moment, just keeping watch by the fire. There wasn't really anything they could do at the moment. It was late, and dark, and cold. Still, there was nothing that Meiriana would have like more than to share this moment with Merrill. _Creators I miss her so much._ Eventually she looked to Leliana and said, "How many people can you love at one time?"

Leliana blinked and when she responded she sounded confused, "Why do you ask?"

"I loved a girl and a boy, but Kallian says you can't love people unless you've had sex with them... I don't think that's true. How many people can you love at once? I think more than just one." Meiriana sighed, she wasn't sure if she'd like Leliana's answer and wondered how much of it would be Chantry teachings and how much would be Leliana's actual beliefs.

"Love is the maker's greatest gift," Leliana said. "I do not see why it would, or should, be restricted to just one person at a time. Andraste had a mortal husband, and an elven lover even while she was the Maker's chosen bride." There was a pause before she continued, "Personally, I have... not... loved more than one person, however that doesn't mean I won't or can't. Maybe I just haven't met the right people. Or maybe I have? These things take time."

"Well... if it helps, I think Ella likes you," Meiriana said.

Leliana smiled but didn't respond.

Meiriana snuggled against Leliana and closed her eyes.

It was several hours before Meiriana woke up again. She hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep. She heard a voice. That’s what woke her up. It was sweet.

“Meiriana,” Leliana had said. “Wake up.”

She shook her head. “Don’t wanna.”

Leliana chuckled. “Oh really? Then I’ll just be forced to move.”

Meiriana frowned and sat up straight. “Don’t leave.”

“Meiriana, did you forget that we’re starting the trip to Redcliffe today?” Leliana said. “I would advise that you go get your bag, armor, and weapons.”

Meiriana pouted but stood up. She didn’t want to go anywhere. Especially if going somewhere meant that she couldn’t get any more sleep. She didn’t have a choice though, she knew that. _You can’t procrastinate ending a war if you want to keep the amount of lives lost to a minimum._

After she had gathered her things from her tent, putting her armor on and fixing her newly made quiver to her belt, she left her tent, petting Fluffy as she went. “Stay here and guard the camp girl,” she said.

Fluffy tilted her head and barked quietly in affirmation.

Meiriana smiled then went to join the others by the fire. “I’m ready when you are.”

Ella simply smiled kind of sleepily and Leliana nodded. Alistair looked over them and then said, “Right, then we’re all ready.”

Maric nuzzled Meiriana’s hand, then nuzzled Ella’s hand too. Meiriana smiled at him, glad they were taking at least one of the dogs. Though she wished they were bringing Fluffy too, she could understand why Ella wouldn’t want to be separated from her dog right now.

They left the camp together, Ella and Alistair taking the lead. They were the ones who knew the way to Redcliffe, though nothing could convince Meiriana that they weren’t just following the signs on the roads. Meiriana and Leliana were right behind them. Meiriana was too sleepy at the moment to go ahead of any of them.

After a couple hours of walking in silence, Leliana spoke up, “Meiriana, didn’t you want to hear a story?”

Meiriana nodded and Maric barked conversationally, like he wanted to hear the story too.

“Do you know the story of Andraste?” Leliana asked.

Ella chuckled slightly. “She didn’t even know what the Chant of Light was until I told her.”

“You aren’t going to start singing the chant, are you?” Alistair said.

“No, no,” Leliana said. “I was simply curious.”

Meiriana shrugged. “You said Andraste was the Maker’s chosen bride. That she had a husband and an elven lover.”

“You actually told her that Shartan was Andraste’s lover?” Alistair gasped.

“What’s wrong with telling her that?” Leliana asked. “It’s true.”

Alistair grumbled but didn’t reply.

“Andraste was a Tevinter slave,” Leliana said.

“I don’t think I’m going to like this story,” Meiriana said. “She died, right? I don’t think I want to hear a story right now about someone who died.”

Ella nodded slightly.

“Oh... then perhaps a different story... actually... I’m having trouble thinking of a story where no one dies.”

“I thought you were a Chantry sister,” Alistair said.

“I was only a lay-sister and only for the last four and a half years. I didn’t spend my whole life in the chantry, I was a minstrel before,” Leliana said.

“How did you become a minstrel?” Meiriana asked. “Surely no one died in that story?”

“I already told you that my mother died, no?” Leliana said and when Meiriana nodded, she continued, “After my mother died I was raised by Lady Cecilie. As I was growing up, she was intent upon helping me be happy so she gave me everything I ever asked for. I asked for books.”

“Books?” Meiriana asked. “That’s so simple though.”

“Yes,” Leliana confirmed. “It was simple, I longed to learn the things that I could. Amongst those books, I found a copy of The Canticle of Shartan, but that’s a story for another time. Lady Cecilie found for me the best tutors and I learned everything that I could. She used to take me to parties that her acquaintances would throw, and it was at them that I became fascinated by the minstrels. I loved the stories my books shared with me, and I thought that if I became a minstrel too I could share those stories with anyone and they would listen. Lady Cecilie encouraged this because it made me happy.”

“That can’t be the whole story,” Meiriana said.

“I’m afraid it is,” Leliana said.

“That’s kind of boring,” Meiriana said. “I mean... it was so short. You should consider giving more details next time you tell it. Like maybe talk about the kinds of things you learned and the parties you went to? I’ve never been to a fancy human party.”

Leliana nodded. “That would be a good idea. Oh! Parties are really fun. There’s food and dancing and music and so many people.”

“Don’t forget all the fancy clothes and the drinks,” Ella said. “And pretty women in pretty dresses.”

“Do you think about anything else?” Alistair asked.

“Should I? Don’t you think about pretty girls in pretty dresses too?” Ella replied.

“I get the feeling you think of them out of dresses more than in,” Alistair said.

“Why?” Meiriana asked. “People should wear clothes.”

Ella chuckled. “You’ll understand someday, Meiriana.”

“Probably not. Humans are weird,” Meiriana replied.

“It... it’s not a human thing,” Ella said. “Don’t you like girls?”

“Yes, but people should be wearing clothes. Won’t they get cold without them?” Meiriana asked. _I don’t get it._

Ella almost replied but Alistair leaned over and whispered something to her that Meiriana couldn’t hear. She nodded and then said, “There’s plenty of times not to wear clothes. However, I do agree with you that most of the time people should wear clothes or they’d get cold. People should also wear armor when they’re going into a fight.”

“I am wearing armor this time,” Meiriana protested completely missing the point.

“Yes, you are,” Ella said. “Which is good. You need armor.”

“Leliana needs armor,” Meiriana said. “She can’t keep fighting in her Chantry robes. She’s not a mage.”

Leliana chuckled. “What kind of armor would you put me in Meiriana?”

“Well... maybe leather or chainmail,” Meiriana said. “You fight with daggers, right? Or should we get you a bow? Either way you need something you can move around in but is also protective. I’d also suggest gloves. I bet we can make it both practical and pretty. I mean there’s no reason you can’t wear armor and look nice at the same time, right?”

“I think Leliana will look pretty no matter what armor she wears,” Ella said.

“Do you know how to not flirt with a woman?” Alistair asked.

“You’re just jealous that I won’t call you pretty,” Ella replied.

“It’s okay, Alistair. You’re pretty even if Ella won’t say it,” Meiriana said.

“Well that’s very kind of you to say, Meiriana. Thank you,” Alistair said. “See, at least someone knows how to... is that a dwarf riding on a Mabari?”

“Did you get into my rum?” Ella chided before looking at what he was staring at. “I don’t know, could be a kid on a pony?”

As they got closer, Meiriana was the first to hear the words that were being half shouted at a group of rams crossing the road.

“Move, go on, cross already, there’s people coming.”

“It’s a ram herder,” Meiriana said. “Is there a name for that?”

“Farmer?” Ella suggested.

“Shepherd,” Leliana said. “Rams are sheep.”

“I thought sheep were sheep and rams were rams,” Meiriana said. “Rams are what? A breed of sheep, like Halla are a breed of deer?”

“No, rams are male sheep, ewes are female sheep,” Leliana said.

“What’s the point of that? Why not just call them all sheep why do we need three words for them?” Meiriana whined.

“There’s actually about five words just for rams,” Leliana said.

“Not helping,” Meiriana grumbled.

Leliana chuckled.

When they finally reached the person, Meiriana was actually kind of shocked to see that Alistair had been right. It was a Dwarf, a child Dwarf, wearing simple linen clothes and a bag almost like Meiriana’s. She was sitting on the back of a Mabari trying to get seven rams to get out of the middle of the road and continue crossing.

“Oh,” the dwarf said when they stopped walking. “Hi.”

“Hi?” Alistair said. “Having problems?”

“Nothing you can help with,” the dwarf replied. “Mother says I’m not supposed to let strangers near the rams, they’re not even our rams.”

“Did you know we were coming?” Leliana asked.

“Yeah, I saw you coming from the top of the hill.” With that the dwarf pointed at the top of a nearby hill. “But I thought we’d have finished crossing the road by the time you got here. The rams had other ideas. Who are you?”

“We’re Grey-Wardens,” Ella said. “I’m Ella, this is Alistair, and Meiriana. The Chantry sister is Leliana, she’s not a Warden.”

“I’m Lace. I know it’s kind of embarrassing. My mother sews things,” the dwarf said. “Lace Harding. Are you lost? Where are you going?”

“We’re not lost, we’re headed to Redcliffe,” Ella said.

Lace tilted her head. “Do you need a map? I have a map. I think you need the map more than I do.” She reached into her bag and pulled out the map. She held it up to Ella. “It’s okay, I’ll just tell my mother one of the neighbor’s goats ate it. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Having a map might not be such a bad idea,” Meiriana said. “In case we need it.”

“Meiriana has a point,” Leliana said. “Not all of us know the Hinterlands.”

Ella nodded. “Thank you for this map, young Harding.”

Lace smiled. “I never thought about just going by my family name. Maybe... does it sound less embarrassing than Lace?”

“If you want it to, then it will,” Ella said.

They started to go around the sheep but before they had moved more than an inch the caw of a raven caught their attention and Night swooped out of the sky and landed on Lace’s shoulder. She seemed unperturbed by this.

“Oooh a bird. He’s cute,” was the entirety of her response.

Night nuzzled Lace’s cheek for a moment before saying, “The noble sister of a noble warden is in Denerim with the betrayer.”

Ella nodded sadly. “What about the other? Did you find Kuvira?”

“The shy sister of a noble warden is in Ostwick with family. Noble house. Teyrn Trevelyan shooed the bird out of his flowers.”

“I’m not sure I want to know how you thought to look in Ostwick,” Ella said.

“North. Too far north?”

Meiriana noted that Lace was watching the exchange with interest and slyly pointed it out to Leliana. “Perhaps,” she whispered. “We should keep her in mind in the future, if when we and she are older, we might need such a curious and sharp-eyed girl on our side.”

Leliana nodded like she’d been thinking the same thing.

“Thank you, Night,” Ella said.

Night nodded then nuzzled Lace’s cheek before flying off again.

“If you ever come back through here, after all your grey-warden stuff is done. Could you teach me how to do that?” Lace asked her eyes shining with excitement.

“Perhaps,” Meiriana replied. “We have to keep moving though.”

“That’s fair. It would take me three days to walk to Redcliffe from here, but you’re faster than me, so you can probably make it in half the time,” Lace said.

Meiriana nodded while Alistair was the one to reply, “Stay safe.”

“You too,” Lace replied.

Meiriana watched how Alistair and Lace had interacted there and wondered if perhaps that was the proper way for all departures to happen when you’re not sure that you’ll ever see the other person again. In her clan, they said _Dar’eth Shiral_ which she figured meant something similar. They went around the rams and continued down the road.

After a while of walking seeing nothing around them but grass and the occasional hill or tree, Meiriana grew incredibly bored. She didn’t want to talk, but the silence was weird. It just felt wrong like something would attack them. It wasn’t at all comfortable. Ahead of her Ella was checking over the map and shaking her head slightly. _I hope we’re not lost._

“What seems to be the problem?” Alistair asked Ella.

Ella grumbled but didn’t reply. After a little bit of more grumbling she handed the map to Alistair. “Strategy maps and actual maps aren’t exactly the same thing, or else this is just a really weird map.”

“You can’t read the map?” Alistair asked before he looked at it himself. “This map is… not labeled, at least not with any labels that I understand.”

Meiriana and Leliana caught up with the others and Leliana looked at the map herself.

“It’s really simple,” Leliana said. “The little tents are people’s houses, the black lines are the roads and paths and the blue ones are water. The wheat must be farms.”

“And this over here?” Ella asked pointing at something on the map.

“Oh, I know that,” Alistair said. “If this here by the lake is Redcliffe, then that’s Horsemaster Dennet’s farm.”

“Dennet? He has really good horses,” Ella said. “He gave my father a horse once. Well not gave exactly, father did pay for the horse.”

Meiriana tilted her head. Her clan never had horses. She knew of a few that did, especially up in Nevarra or over in the Anderfells, but she had never actually saw those horses herself. “What’s a horse look like?”

Ella and Alistair looked at each other and tilted their heads slightly. Leliana was the one who responded, “They look kind of like deer but much bigger.”

“Oh,” Meiriana said. “I had a pet Halla for a while. She let me ride her around. Can you ride a horse?”

“Absolutely,” Leliana replied.

“Can we get some horses?” Meiriana asked then after a moment’s thought continued, “Actually never mind that, we probably can’t afford horses.” She looked around for a moment then announced, “We should eat lunch.”


	15. The Crossroads

“Admit it, we’re lost,” Leliana said

“We aren’t lost,” Alistair replied. “We’re just not where we should be.”

“That’s the very definition of the word lost,” Ella replied.

“No, lost means you don’t know where you are. I know where we are, it’s just not where we need to be.”

“Can we stop arguing long enough to find some place to sit down and eat?” Meiriana whined. “I’m hungry.”

Alistair nodded and led them off to the side of the road. “We can have lunch here.” He sat down on the ground and the others followed suit.

“What will we eat?” Leliana asked. “I mean, you’re not expecting Meiriana to hunt for something, are you?”

“If she wants to she can, but I have bread and cheese, and apples,” Alistair said as he dug them out of his bag, “If that’s okay with all of you. I know it’s not a lot, but the merchant didn’t have all that much.”

“I still have cookies,” Meiriana said.

“How many did you buy?” Alistair asked.

“I don’t know. Enough?” Meiriana replied.

Leliana chuckled. She accepted a bread roll and some cheese when Alistair handed it to her. “May I try one of those cookies, Meiriana?”

Meiriana smiled and nodded. “Of course!” She reached into her own bag and pulled out one of the cookies. “Everyone should have a cookie when they want one.”

“Is that an offer?” Ella asked. “You’re offering to share?”

“Why not? I didn’t buy the cookies just for me… well I mean I did, but it’s way too many cookies for _just_ me,” Meiriana replied. “Do you want one?”

“I would like one if you’re willing to share them,” Ella said.

“For you, two of them, Lady Knight,” Meiriana said with a smile as she reached into her bag. “Leliana gets another one too if she wants one, and Alistair, you can have one too.”

“Thank you, Meiriana but I don’t think I want a cookie right now,” Alistair replied. “Maybe later?”

Ella took her two cookies with a smile. “Thank you, my lady,” she replied.

Leliana smiled and took the cookie that Meiriana offered her.

After that they ate mostly in silence for a moment until Maric started growling.

“What is it, boy?” Ella asked.

He growled more and barked.

Meiriana turned to see what was there, and found only a small black snake. “It’s just a snake. Maric, relax, it isn’t going to hurt anyone. Those snakes eat mice.”

He kept growling.

“Are you sure it’s just a snake?” Ella asked. “Maybe there’s something else? Like another snake? Or… more darkspawn?”

“Don’t say that,” Meiriana said. “You say it and there’ll be darkspawn, and then we’ll have to fight them.”

“That’s what Grey-Warden’s do, isn’t it?” Ella asked. “Fight darkspawn?”

“The Grey-Wardens once got banished from Ferelden supposedly for invading the country,” Leliana said. “Perhaps history is not the best teacher.”

“I don’t know what that has to do with anything,” Meiriana said. “But when you talk about darkspawn they show up. I don’t want to have to fight anything right now.”

Maric barked again, more menacingly this time.

Meiriana sighed and stood up to see what he was barking at. “Okay, remember how I asked about horses? I think I see some.”

“Horses?” Ella asked. She stood up and walked over to look herself. “Those are definitely horses.”

“Who would be riding horses through here?” Meiriana asked.

“Well, we are on a main road,” Alistair said. “It could be anyone really.”

Maric kept barking as the horses got closer and the little black snake Meiriana had noticed slithered off through the grass, obviously not wanting to get stepped on. The horses’ riders slowed the horses to a stop as they approached the group. There were three men and a woman, all wearing armor.

“Ho there, travelers,” one of the men on one of the horses said.

“Hi,” Meiriana replied.

“Are you headed to Redcliffe?” he asked.

“We are, are you?” Alistair replied.

“No,” he replied. “We’re heading to Jader. It’s a long ride, but we have family there. If you’re heading to Redcliffe, be wary. We’ve heard strange tales lately of undead in Redcliffe.”

 _Undead. Can’t we just go one day without something weird happening?_ Meiriana shivered slightly.

“Why would there be undead in Redcliffe?” Alistair asked.

“Can’t say I know,” the man replied. “Just telling you what we’ve heard. Stay safe.”

“You as well,” Alistair replied as the group of horseback travelers rode off again.

“That was weird,” Ella said. “Undead?”

Meiriana closed her eyes for a moment then said, “I fucking hate when the dead don’t stay dead.”

“Sounds like you’ve faced them before?” Leliana said.

“In the ruins where… where I met Ella, yes. The first time I was there we were attacked by undead. The second time it was darkspawn.” Meiriana sighed. “If we end up having to fight undead in Redcliffe, we need to be careful. I’m pretty sure they’re possessed. Demons or something controlling the bodies. Whatever they are, they’re resilient and won’t stop attacking as long as they can still fight back.”

“Any ideas how to stop them?” Leliana asked.

“Well, when… swords are good against them, arrows not so much. They don’t bleed,” Meiriana said. “The best thing to do is just hit them ‘til they fall.”

“I see,” Leliana said.

“I’m sure there’s a reason for the dead to walk, a demon perhaps. In the ruins, it was… I think it was the Eluvian. It was corrupted, tainted. The veil’s always been thin in the Brecilian forest, if it even exists there at all. The corrupted Eluvian could have attracted the attention of minor demons.”

“What’s an Eluvian?” Leliana asked.

“A really old magical mirror, Duncan said that Ancient Tevinter used them for communication, but the one in the ruins felt older. Everything else there was Elven. I think Tevinter might have scavenged them from the Ancient Elves,” Meiriana replied. “But if they did, I don’t see what the Ancient Elves would have used them for unless they were just communications devices. Maybe something more? They could have somehow used them for traveling, that would make a lot of sense considering how far away from where we believe Arlathan to have been that that Eluvian was. I’m not sure. Most everything I’ve said about them is pure speculation. The one we found was corrupt. It held the blight taint.”

“How could a mirror hold the taint, I thought it only affected living things?” Leliana asked.

Meiriana turned and looked at Alistair. “Ideas on that, Alistair? You’ve been a warden a lot longer than I have.”

“Maybe the blight affects more things than we realize,” he said. “Or maybe it has something to do with how the Eluvian could be used for communication? Magic perhaps. I honestly don’t know.”

“How did the blight happen?” Meiriana asked.

“A long time ago, some Magisters from Ancient Tevinter breached the fade, entered the golden city and were cast down by the Maker. They became the first darkspawn,” Leliana said.

“So, the darkspawn corruption came from somewhere in the Fade?” Meiriana asked. “Maybe that’s how the Eluvian got the blight, if the taint came from the fade and the Eluvian is a magical artifact that’s been hiding in a place where the veil is barely existent, then maybe the taint was drawn to the Eluvian the same way the demons that possessed the corpses there were.”

Alistair shrugged. “Are we done eating? We still have a couple hours of daylight left, we could rest for a little bit longer then continue on.”

Meiriana nodded. She sat down for a moment beside Maric who was no longer barking. “How are you doing?” she asked him.

He barked happily and licked her face.

“Did you have to do that?” she asked him wiping the dog slobber off with her shirt sleeve.

He whined and tilted his head in reply.

“Please don’t do it again,” she said. “I rather like my face to not be wet if I can help it.”

He barked affirmatively.

“Thank you.” She looked down the road in the direction that the horses had gone. That was the direction they needed to go, she knew. Unless they wanted to cut across the fields and probably get lost, it was the only direction they could go that wouldn’t be taking them right back where they came from. The most comforting thought she could think of was that they’d gone all day without running into any darkspawn and that the rumors of undead in Redcliffe could be just that, rumors.

There wasn’t a lot she could do with rumors except keep them in mind and be prepared for if they were true. One thing she knew for sure about those rumors was that they meant she needed another weapon. _I can’t fight them with a bow, that’s how I broke the last one._ After a moment, she noticed the shadow of a bird above them and looked up.

Night was flying around, circling them. He tilted his head, caught her eye, then flew down and landed in front of her. Silently and curiously he hopped across the ground and up onto her knee. He tilted his head.

She smiled and gently pet the top of his head. There was nothing wrong with giving the bird affection. He was a smart, gentle, sweet bird and deserved love as much as any other pet or companion. He nuzzled against her hand. It was a simple gesture, one that had happened in the camp many times before, still, it was comforting here now where so many things were unfamiliar and yet familiar at the same time.

He walked across her lap and tilted his head inquisitorially at Tamlen’s pouch on her belt before poking his head under the flap curiously. When he pulled back from it, his eye sparkled slightly. “Will return,” he cawed then flew off.

Meiriana stared after him confused. There wasn’t anything in the pouch that could have piqued his interest, in fact the pouch was completely empty. She turned to Maric but he was just lying beside her, seemingly content with everything that was currently happening around him. She sighed slightly and watched the skies, wondering when Night might return and what had interested him so much. She pet Maric’s head as she did so, silently wondering why the others weren’t talking, then realizing that maybe they were and she’d just tuned them out.

After a few moments, Maric sat up and tilted his head then nudged Meiriana and looked toward Ella. Meiriana tilted her head then looked at Ella too. Ella looked like she was expecting an answer to some question that Meiriana hadn’t heard.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” Meiriana said.

“I can see that,” Ella said. “What I asked was if you were ready to go. Were you thinking about anything in particular?”

“Oh, yeah,” Meiriana said. “I’m sure that Night can find me again if we keep moving. I was just trying to figure out what he wanted.”

Maric nudged Meiriana’s leg then put his nose on Tamlen’s pouch.

“Yes, Maric. I know he went into the pouch before he flew away but the pouch is empty,” Meiriana said.

“Maybe that’s the problem?” Ella suggested. “The pouch is empty, and it shouldn’t be. Should it?”

“Well… no, it shouldn’t, but berries and nuts don’t last forever,” Meiriana replied.

“Those berries and nuts are important to you, right?” Ella asked. “Night probably saw that they were completely gone and wanted to bring you more.”

“Maybe,” Meiriana said. “I suppose I’ll find out when he finds us again.”

“We should get moving,” Alistair said. “I mean, we could wait around for your bird friend, but the sooner we get moving the faster we’ll make it to the Crossroads.”

“The Crossroads?” Meiriana asked.

“Where the roads cross,” Alistair said.

“Oh. That sounds rather obvious,” Meiriana said quietly. “What roads?”

“The East road, West road, and North road,” Alistair replied.  

“I see,” Meiriana said. “We’re on which road now?”

“The East Road,” Alistair said.

Meiriana nodded. “So, we’re on the East Road. Traveling west? And you’re sure we’re going the right way?”

“Yes,” Alistair said. “Do you think it’s wrong?”

“No,” Meiriana said. “The elven words are different. I’m still learning common.”

Alistair nodded slightly. “Well if you trust me enough to believe that I do know that we’re going the right way, then let’s go.”

Meiriana nodded and stood up. “We should get to the Crossroads soon then. We can camp there overnight, right?”

“There’s a house at the crossroads,” Alistair said, “we might be able to convince the people there to let us stay. If not, I’m sure we could convince them there’s no harm in allowing us to sleep in the field nearby.”

“Okay,” Meiriana said and gently nudged Maric with her foot. “You ready to go boy?”

Maric tilted his head slightly then barked happily and wiggled his whole body to show that he was always ready.

When they were all ready, they began again down the road. Meiriana walked beside Leliana and Maric while Ella and Alistair once again took the lead.

“Alistair, do you have any more cheese?” Meiriana asked. “I’m still a little hungry.”

“If we eat all the food today, what will be left for tomorrow?” Alistair asked.

“Tomorrow we’ll be in Redcliffe. We haven’t seen any refugees on the way to Redcliffe, so it’s likely their tavern will have food and we can eat there. I have money,” Meiriana argued. “If all else fails I can hunt when we stop for the night.”

Alistair nodded slightly, then stopped walking for a moment. “Ella, will you get it for her? It’s in the bag.”

Ella nodded and after a moment of searching through the bag pulled out the cheese. She broke off a chunk and handed it over to Meiriana then took some for herself. She offered a bit to Leliana but Leliana didn’t accept it, to which Ella’s response was just a shrug then she offered some to Alistair who did accept.

“Does being a warden make you hungry a lot?” Meiriana asked Alistair. “Because if it does, we might need to find salt.”

“Salt?” Alistair asked. “What do you need salt for?”

“To cure the meats. It makes them last longer,” Meiriana said. “If we’re going to need to eat more than the average person, we’re going to need bigger animals. A single adult deer can feed my clan for a couple days, but we’ll need more than just one deer for our group of people, what with there being four wardens and Sten. He’s a Qunari.”

“And you think that means he needs to eat more than other people?” Alistair asked.

“Well the three of us are still hungry, but Leliana isn’t. And Sten is _big._ He’s even bigger than you,” Meiriana said. “So yes.”

“I see,” Alistair said. “Are you really not hungry, Leliana?”

“I’m really not,” Leliana replied.

“Then perhaps being a grey warden does make you hungrier than normal,” Alistair said. “I hadn’t noticed because I’ve been living around wardens for the last six months and I’ve always… Well, it doesn’t really matter. If we’re going to need to cure the meat, perhaps smoke would work just as well. It’s cheaper to build a fire than buy salt.”

“I’m not sure that’s how smoke-curing meat works,” Meiriana said. “But I can’t say for sure that it isn’t. We might need to ask someone, perhaps a farmer? If they work with meat animals, especially butchering them or selling the meat, or both, then they probably know how to cure it.” She paused for a moment then added, “My clan does this thing before we travel for long distances where we take the meat and dry it out. It gets tough and chewy and  we usually salt it too. I don’t know what to call it, but it lasts a really long time and is good for people like me.”

“Like you?” Leliana asked.

“You’d be surprised how much I can eat,” Meiriana said. “I have to eat a lot, always have. Guess it’ll just get worse with being a warden, but I’ll manage. The meat thingy I was just talking about is really good for that, it doesn’t take a lot of it to make me not hungry, and it lasts a long time. It’s good for traveling, and makes a great snack.”

“So then it’d probably be good for Wardens as well,” Alistair said. “That could be useful. Do you know how to make it?”

“Yes, but it takes hours. It can store for a long time though,” Meiriana said.

“What about hardtack,” Leliana said. “We had that at the chantry to, they called it a back-up, in case we ever run low on other foods.”

“I used to eat that with the Templars,” Alistair said. “Really hard bread. Lasts for years if you make it properly. The soldiers eat it too. It might not be such a bad idea to get some of it. Or make our own, though I’m not sure how we would. Baking over an open fire probably isn’t easy.”

“So we need my meat thingies…” Meiriana began.

“Are you sure your people don’t actually have a word for that?” Alistair said. “’Meat thingies’ just brings weird images to mind.”

“Oh,” Meiriana said, “when I said I don’t know what to call it, I meant in Common. My people call it dil'selem. I think that translates just to 'salted meat’.”

“That makes sense,” Alistair said. “Calling it what it is, I like that.”

“How much further to the Crossroads?” Ella asked. “It’s going to get dark soon, probably.”

Meiriana looked around as she ate her cheese. From where she was standing, she could see the sun starting to sink lower in the sky, but compared to where it was and where it would need to be when it was finally dark. “I estimate we have maybe a little over two hours until it starts getting dark and colder, then another half hour or so before night.”

“It’s not much further to the Crossroads. We’ll make it before night,” Alistair said.

“Are you getting tired, Ella?” Meiriana asked.

“No,” Ella said. “Not really, but Maric is.”

“Aww poor Maric,” Meiriana said then finished off her cheese before turning to him and saying, “would you like someone to carry you boy?”

Maric whined and tilted his head in confusion, like he didn’t think Meiriana would be able to carry him and he knew his human wouldn’t carry him. He didn’t seem to understand why she was asking.

“I can carry you,” Meiriana said, handing her bow over to Leliana. “If Leliana will carry this.”

“I think I can manage that,” Leliana said with a small smile. “I’d like to see you carry the big strong Wardog.”

Ella nodded and chuckled, turning around for a moment to watch. “This I have to see.”

“I’m not as weak as you all seem to think I am,” Meiriana said as she easily picked Maric up and walked with him in her arms. “I’ve carried deer heavier than him.”

Maric panted happily and twisted around slightly to put his nose against Meiriana’s cheek. His little elf friend didn’t want their face to be wet so this was the best he could do to show he was happy.

“See, it’s not hard,” Meiriana said.

“Good luck keeping it up,” Ella said. “Maric likes to wiggle.”

“I’ll be fine, he’s a good boy,” Meiriana said with a smile. “Aren’t you boy?”

Maric barked happily but purposefully did not wiggle just to prove his human wrong.

They continued walking after that. Meiriana not saying anything but at some point she did shift Maric so that she was holding him under his bottom half and he had his head and front paws resting on her shoulder. It was more comfortable that way and he could sleep if he wanted to.

Once they were close enough, Alistair pointed out the sign marking the Crossroads ahead of them. Standing under the sign was a person they couldn’t quite see clearly. As they got closer they realized it was a young boy with a sword, possibly a wooden training sword.

“Hey, you travelers!” the boy called out when he could see them and Meiriana was able to make out the color of his hair—black.

“Yes?” Alistair asked when they reached the boy and stopped.

Meiriana put Maric down then. Figuring if there was trouble he’d let them know.

“Are you going to Redcliffe? Cause I might have a favor to ask if you are,” the boy said.

“How long have you been standing here waiting for someone who might be going to Redcliffe?” Leliana asked.

“A while, but we need to go inside to talk. It gets dark and _things_ come out when it’s dark,” the boy replied. “If you want you can stay with me. I’m sure my family won’t mind… even if they do, they’re not here.”

“Is that what the favor is about?” Ella asked.

The boy nodded then turned around and whistled. A girl standing further up the road turned around and came running over to them.

“Did you find someone, Harry?” the girl asked.

“I did, Mary. Maybe. We need to go inside now before _they_ come back,” Harry replied. “Please,” he said as he turned back to looking at them. “I’ll explain everything once we’re inside.”


End file.
